- Feb 18, 2007
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4Christ2, thanks for your reply and your passion on this subject. But I believe you've completely missed my intent and misunderstood what I'm presenting.Sherman,
Respectfully, I want you to know that I do not support in ANYway what you teach. I believe you are in direct conflict with the Lord Jesus and what He taught us about MDR. I also believe you are in direct conflict with the will of our God for marriage.
We DO NOT as believers have an excuse to divorce one another. Not even our frailties are an excuse. We have the Spirit of God. We have the blood of Jesus. We have the Word of God. We are the head, not the tail. I cannot allow anyone, including you, to lessen the majesty, power, and authority of God in a believer's life...in a believer's marriage.
You state that you spend a great deal of your time "ministering" in the black christian community. I can't help but wonder how your "doctrine" and beliefs affect MY community. I am a black woman. Are the statistics for divorce in my community a reflection of teachings like yours?
God is the authority of marriage and when He is the authority IN marriage...there is no failure. When we fail, yes, He is faithful and just and forgives us for our sin...but making His grace an allowance to divorce is willfully sinning. Hebrews tells us what awaits those who turn away from the commandments of the Lord and sin anyway.
I can't speak for all my black people. But when it comes to the family as the foundation of society and marriage being a reflection of Christ's relationship to His Bride... this is ONE black woman that shuns your brand of help and your book!
Concerning believers having an "excuse to divorce one another", I don't know that I've presented an "excuse" to divorce in anything I've presented. In fact, I've pointed out that for Christians we should do all we can to make our marriages last. And part of having healthy marriages is living in the reality that marriage is breakable and that our spouse has needs and reasonable expectations. Not only that but we need to have healthy personal boundaries, and part of having healthy boundaries is knowing where to draw the line in the relationship. But the traditional doctrine has kept people from drawing healthy personal boundaries and rather, moved us into codependent relationships, where we empower the abusers.
You made some passionate statements about me and that's ok, but I would like to ask you specifically what do you disagree with "specifically". What do you believe? Is marriage breakable or indissoluble? If MDR under personal, domestic, or civil authority? (And please don't cop-out and say God's authority, because everything is under God's ultimate authority, but God gave us authority structures and which one does MDR fall under?) Did Jesus disagree with Moses and intent to repudiate the bill of divorce. Can a divorce' remarry?
You make some blanket statements of disagreement, but what do you specifically disagree with and why?
Concerning the statistics, I agree that divorce is terrible. In many cases it's worse than death, being an unending sourse of pain and destruction for generations. One statistic that you didn't mention is that the divorce rate in the Church is as high, even higher, than the divorce rate amoung non-Christians. I believe that this is due in large part to the traditional doctrine of MDR. By refusing to recognize that marriage is breakable, the church has stuck it's head in the sand like an ostrich. Concerning the tradgedy of the exceptionally high rate of divorce in the black community, other factors influence this more than the traditional doctrine of MDR, but that's more than we can deal with in one post, and really would require a seperate thread if you want to start one.
4Christ2, it's my earnest prayer that God will bless you and continue to bring increasing wholeness into your life and family.
Blessings,
Sherman
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