Attention, Mr. Right and Miss Right. Your existences have been called into question.

[Vigilante]

I heard Mr. Right fell in love with Mrs. Right, they got married, so they're off the market.

Adulterers!

(who else caught this? )

A random thought I just had... it is kind of like when Jesus saw the deciples fishing and they couldn't catch anything. He told them to throw out the net again and this time they had a ton of fish. But even though he blessed them with fish, he didn't throw the net out there for them.

This is, I think, a great analogy. Spot on. Just as the disciples were blessed with tons of fish, I think all of us guys should be blessed with tons of women.

*cough*

 

[Im_A]

I've seen several people mention here that they're waiting "for the one God has for them." How do you know that God has anyone in particular waiting for you? How do you know that God wouldn't be pleased with any number of like-minded Christians who could be awesome spouses?

If it's just a gut feeling, fair enough--not much anyone can do to argue that point.

But for those who claim that this idea is Biblical, which verse(s) do you cite?

to me the idea that someone is waiting for God to give them someone, assumes something very incorrectly...that they are going to be alive in the future to obtain that special blessing. fact is they could die. so i don't see any reason to wish for the unknown

secondly, things happen. i don't define that "special one" as the person i'll end up marrying. marriage vows have to be accomplished and to fullfill them means fulfilling them till you die, so i'd rather see whoever i marry as that one person that i choose to be holy to, and want more than any other women and trust/have faith that God is working in my life because of our holy desires to remain holy and be a good addition to another's life. that doesn't mean she's my soulmate tho. i believe i'll find that out when i go into the next life, or better put, when i die. plus i wonder if the idea of "finding your soulmate" lead people to failure or a climatic point that you can't progress in a relationship with. that's what it has been for me, so i have no use for it. plus it's too emotional for me anymore(but that's a personal and very pointless/minut point).

the only way i can see one justifying it in the Bible is with the biblical characters or specifically Adam and Eve, or the idea that verses support that God is in control...but again it is a futuristic judgement on God and judging God's actions to something that we aren't even promised (the future) is something that i don't see that can relate with. i personally, see no reason to entail mythological/metaphorical, or literal stories to some theological standpoint of true romance. a woman being created out of ribs and a man out of dust has so much more enlightening truth that means more for our life than that there's a special person out there that i will someday have and to belittle it down to satisfying one's selfish or urgent need of that "special someone" seems to belittle the life guidance that can be found in the creation story.

i figure, let God do God's part, i'll do mine and we'll work together as a father and son does. once the vows are fulfilled then i'll believe i have found the soulmate/miss right. until then i don't question their existence, i deny their existence.

 

[Silver Speak]

My question is how do you know God has anyone waiting for you? I don't think there's anything wrong with wishing for a spouse but to assume God will give you one, in my opinion, is not very wise and often leads into bitterness towards God when that someone just doesn't show up. In short, we often forget to yield to God's will in this area of our lives.

 

[Vigilante]

Agreed.

 

[Gardener101]

My question is how do you know God has anyone waiting for you? I don't think there's anything wrong with wishing for a spouse but to assume God will give you one, in my opinion, is not very wise and often leads into bitterness towards God when that someone just doesn't show up. In short, we often forget to yield to God's will in this area of our lives.

Exactly

 

[JPPT1974]

I know that I am depending on the Lord
To guide and lead me to the right person
If that is His will and way.
However, if God doesn't want me to marry
Then I will live with it.

 

[OhhJim]

I think that, in a thousand years or so, who we married isn't going to matter so much as why we married. I believe that if we have a strong desire to please God, and let this determine who we marry, there are a number of people we could be happily married to.

I also believe that God will work all things together for good, as long as we love Him.

 

[Dee235]

Here we are, bemoaning our singlehood or celebrating it, whatever. But do we as parents pray for our children's spouses? I constantly do, that God would bring them a Godly man or woman. Protect them as they grow up and be strong in their faith. And that they may serve the Lord together and raise their kids knowing God. I pray that my kids can have what I never had.

MuchLoved
J

I don't have any children but have prayed for my niece and nephews' spouses. Also at our homegroup we have prayed for the spouses of the couples that have children.

 

[Katty]

I think a lot of people make such a huge deal of meeting "the one" or meeting "Mr/Ms. Right" when in all reality, God has called us to be the best of who we are regardless of whether or not we're going to be "pursued" or end up being with someone. My job is not to look for someone, but rather be the person that God desires and has called me to be. If God brings along someone, great, if not, my significance is found in Him.

~Katty

 

[TriptychR]

My question is how do you know God has anyone waiting for you? I don't think there's anything wrong with wishing for a spouse but to assume God will give you one, in my opinion, is not very wise and often leads into bitterness towards God when that someone just doesn't show up. In short, we often forget to yield to God's will in this area of our lives.

Well said!

I know a number of Christian couples who have found each other through what seems like God-driven events. None of them were really actively looking for someone; it all just fell together.

Looking at such cases, it can be easy for a heart wishing the same thing to happen to them to believe that it is something ordained by God to happen to them, too. They're Christian too, after all, right? The Lord provides, right? So the Lord gives successful Christian marriages to successful Christians. ...Right?

But the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that is simply not the case. We as Christians tend to focus on love a lot, but finding the sort of love that leads to marriage is neither our right nor our privilege. It's a gift, straight from God. So is "the one" out there for some people? There's a very good chance. But is he or she out there for each person whom we feel deserves such a gift? Absolutely not. It is God's will to give or deny that sort of thing in our lives for His purposes. But those of who may end up never receiving that gift
are neither more nor less worthy or significant than those who do.

 

[catofhope]

Well said!

I know a number of Christian couples who have found each other through what seems like God-driven events. None of them were really actively looking for someone; it all just fell together.

Looking at such cases, it can be easy for a heart wishing the same thing to happen to them to believe that it is something ordained by God to happen to them, too. They're Christian too, after all, right? The Lord provides, right? So the Lord gives successful Christian marriages to successful Christians. ...Right?

But the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that is simply not the case. We as Christians tend to focus on love a lot, but finding the sort of love that leads to marriage is neither our right nor our privilege. It's a gift, straight from God. So is "the one" out there for some people? There's a very good chance. But is he or she out there for each person whom we feel deserves such a gift? Absolutely not. It is God's will to give or deny that sort of thing in our lives for His purposes. But those of who may end up never receiving that gift
are neither more nor less worthy or significant than those who do.

Well said. None of us is ENTITLED to a spouse.

 

[Braticus]

Adulterers!

(who else caught this? )




This is, I think, a great analogy. Spot on. Just as the disciples were blessed with tons of fish, I think all of us guys should be blessed with tons of women.

*cough*

Are you sure this would be a blessing!

I don't think that God has one person picked out for me. Like all things that God blesses us with, I think that we have to do our part. I don't think that God will just send them, I feel that it is my duty to search and when I find someone that I think is appropriate, pray for God's approval of them.

 

[Silver Speak]

I recently ran across an article that I think makes a valid point: http://www.christianitytoday.com/singles/newsletter/2007/mind0509.html

I find it funny how people think that God will certainly give you a spouse when you do this or do that and become this or that or if you just have enough faith. I find it comforting that we cannot control God, not in this or any other issue and He always knows better. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him" (Romans 8:28). When you're able to count on that you've come a long way.

I think the crucial question is, are you constantly looking to God to bless your life or constantly looking to bless Him with your life? It's a mindset that takes your whole life to learn, I suppose. Yet, I know I would find it frustrating having someone give me gifts only to get something better in return (since we can't give anything too grand to God, can we?). God gives His gifts because He's good, not because we're deserving of anything.

 

[Vigilante]

Wow, I thought this thread died a long time ago. Oh well.

I started this thread because I've heard so many people (even my own parents) talk about praying for the safety and well-being of future wives and husbands. Following my parents' example, even I did this as recently as a couple of years ago. Then I started thinking we aren't guaranteed anything and I stopped. Praying for the well-being of a future spouse must assume that one would have a future spouse to begin with. I think that's a faulty assumption.

It seems like everyone else feels the same way. Woo hoo.

 

[Silver Speak]

Praying for the well-being of a future spouse must assume that one would have a future spouse to begin with. I think that's a faulty assumption.

Yeah, I don't really see the point. I would feel silly praying for someone I know nothing of and especially someone whose existence I'm still questioning. It seems pretty much as pointless to me as saying 'God, bless the whole world' and other blah blah blah. I'd rather pray something a little more to the point.

 

[vjaine]

Hebrews11:6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Psalm 68:6 God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

I'm one who prays for my future spouse although he is a sight unseen, and I use the Bible verses to encourage me. No, I don't know that I'll marry, I don't believe that God owes me anything, but I use my faith to ask for a husband anyway. I do sometimes question the existence of "the one," simply because he hasn't appeared - yet. I do believe that he exists because "the one" is the one man I'm going to marry. Hebrews 11:1 says that faith is the substance of a things hoped for and evidence of things unseen. So, even though it gets extrodinarily hard at times, I just have to depend on God's Word and have faith that He knows my heart's desire to have a family someday.

 

[mina]

Hebrews11:6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Psalm 68:6 God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

I'm one who prays for my future spouse although he is a sight unseen, and I use the Bible verses to encourage me. No, I don't know that I'll marry, I don't believe that God owes me anything, but I use my faith to ask for a husband anyway. I do sometimes question the existence of "the one," simply because he hasn't appeared - yet. I do believe that he exists because "the one" is the one man I'm going to marry. Hebrews 11:1 says that faith is the substance of a things hoped for and evidence of things unseen. So, even though it gets extrodinarily hard at times, I just have to depend on God's Word and have faith that He knows my heart's desire to have a family someday.

I feel the same way.

 

[whatdoesitmatter]

well look at the way God led Rebekah to Issac, and Ruth to Boaz (if you do a careful study of the book of Ruth, like with Chuck Missler, you'll see it), and the way He picked certain ppl by His choice (not just any random ones) for nethin important. Even when picking the next disciple to take the traitor's place (in Acts), they didnt choose who they thought would be the best man, they asked God to show them. Paul always said "if it's His will" he'll do this or that, and go here or there. The same is said in James. Also look at the way God appointed his judges, kings, and more. Jesus picked his 12, not just said "any who wants to be one, line up". All thru the Bible (except where ppl deliberately disobey and sin) there's God leading, choosing, bringing certain ppl together. it doesnt mean that everything that happens is His will of course. If the disciples had replaced Judas with neone of their choice, it might not've been someone that God had in mind. God didnt tell Paul to go to neone to regain his sight, but specifically chose Ananias. He didnt tell Samuel to go pick neone he thought should make a good king (then he wouldn't have chosen David, read the passage), or told the Israelites to take a vote, GOD did the choosing. From all that, I think we should be able to see that God cares about the way we go and the ppl we go with, and for something as big as marriage (which most would agree is big), surely God has his ideas there too. Why do ppl seek His will in certain things and not in other things? Doesnt that just show their stubbornness to go their own way? And if His will does exist concerning your marriage partner, doesnt that mean there is "the one" (God has in mind for you) out there? You may choose your clothes, the food you buy, how you decorate your room etc, but some other things have eternal significance (though you'd be wise to seek His will in all things, incl. how you eat, as that can affect your health and life, and others around you)

but ur perfectly free to pick neone, so go ahead. its not ike one more is gonna make that much more difference; the world's rotting as it is.

if you've nethin to say PM coz I doubt I'll be lookin at this again.

 

[whatdoesitmatter]

Wow, I thought this thread died a long time ago. Oh well.

I started this thread because I've heard so many people (even my own parents) talk about praying for the safety and well-being of future wives and husbands. Following my parents' example, even I did this as recently as a couple of years ago. Then I started thinking we aren't guaranteed anything and I stopped. Praying for the well-being of a future spouse must assume that one would have a future spouse to begin with. I think that's a faulty assumption.

It seems like everyone else feels the same way. Woo hoo.

yes well but its better than not praying for them in the case that they do exist, isnt it. coz if ur not praying for/about them at all, well the one He had in mind for you might end up with another, coz they may not beileve in "the one" and may not wait for you.

 

[Silver Speak]

coz if ur not praying for/about them at all, well the one He had in mind for you might end up with another, coz they may not beileve in "the one" and may not wait for you.

I don't really believe it goes that way. As I said before, I don't believe that God's promised matrimony to all people on earth. You can pray for God's blessings and, yeah, even for a spouse but oftentimes God blesses our lives the way we didn't expect.

I prefer praying for God's will to happen in my life, in general. That includes everything. I don't know if marriage is for me and if it's not the best thing for me I would only end up miserable and make the other person miserable.

I think you do have to give it to God and give up your right to have a spouse. Furthermore, I believe God changes your heart to conform to His will when you simply keep obeying. I'm not saying it's stupid to pray for a spouse if your convinced it's for you but you still have to keep yielding to God's will.