Midorima Problem

I am wondering back and forth if I was ever saved. On one hand, I was pretty selfish and careless as a kid. On the other, there were times I felt close to God, I used to have visions and one time I (accidentally) had my hand in a fire but did not burn. I just don't see the possibility of salvation. I still have plenty of doubts. I thought maybe I could be like Peter, I thought before the cross Jesus said he wasn't truly converted but he would be but now I see it as Jesus prayed that his faith would not fail although he would deny Christ and when he came back to strengthen the others. Basically now I wonder if my faith is just an obsessive thing like Midorima. Midorima is a character from Kuroku Basketball who was part of an elite team in middle school (now split and all on other teams against each other). He is an excellent shooter, never misses no matter what crazy shots he takes. Midorima is constantly watching horoscopes. He knows the other great players' signs and their "good" and "bad" days. He always carries the lucky item of the day, however weird it is. On a day his sign had bad luck, he had I think a teddy bear as the lucky item and said that he should have cancelled the bad luck out with the item. I wonder if that is the extent of my faith, cancelling out what I feel guilty for and then living like normal.