Kinda Lonely Me

Ay caramba. Sittin’ here in the library again. This is (almost) a daily thing now. Actually it has been for several months. When they close for a federal holiday then it’s time for me to sit in the laundromat to charge up my cell phone. Unfortunately I don’t even really use the phone part of my phone -- no one to talk to. Last fall I had someone to talk to and text with -- a LOT of texting -- but no more. This place I am in right now, in the Lowcountry of South Carolina, is not my home. I came here to take care of my dad when he needed help and then got cancer. My being social and meeting people wasn’t part of the agenda. So I know basically nobody. One “friend” is 57 years old, Randell, a neighbor who has helped me out by buying some of the junk I was selling at a couple yard sales I have had since my dad passed away. Early last summer I was also going to sell my dad’s brokedown old station wagon for a hundred bucks to someone . . . but Randell said we could get over $500 for it by selling it for scrap metal. Yup. Twas almost $600 and we split it 50/50. That sure helped me out at the time. He’s been helping me a little here and a little there since then -- filling water jugs for me, bringing over a hot meal from time to time, and bringing me to the scrap metal place to sell the scrap metal I have collected. I’ve also been helping him move furniture around between his home and a storage unit and well, I guess that’s sort of all. He restores and sells furniture so I have been a help to him. Also helped him clean out his work shop. I guess I kind of repay him by doing this and that when he needs a hand. But in any case -- he’s not really a friend friend. We’re not gonna watch the game and have beer and chicken wings -- we don’t pal around. But he and his wife Jerilyn have been awfully nice to me with water and food and offering me a place to take a shower and do some laundry and to take me to church. But that’s been it. And at the moment there aren’t old friends whom I often talk or text with. So it’s kind of a lonely existence right now. That’s not the worst thing in the world for me but I wish that was different. There is fellowship here on Christian Forums in the Word Association threads that I take part in every day, also some Movies threads. And I’ve just started to talking to someone who’s in world of bad weather herself . . . so for me it’s not completely 100% lonely. But I do long for more. I’m just not in a place where I can go and meet people. Some would think that’s a piece of cake. It’s not exactly for everyone depending on where you live and if you have transportation or not. And try walking 45 minutes somewhere when it’s 75 and sunny and see how sweaty you are when you get there. Not very presentable if you wish to be. Walkin’ when it’s 75 and sunny is great for the sake of getting some exercise and Vitamin D, but you’re not comfortably fresh when you arrive somewhere. Anyway……. complaining complaining complaining, it’s not all I wanna be -- why is someone standing behind me possibly reading what I am writing? What the heck? He ain’t saying a thing just standing there. Why? Reading over my shoulder? Nope, just an old man struggling to sit down. Umm…. okay. That was weird. ANYWAY……. I don’t wish to complain complain complain. I really don’t. I’m used to a good life that’s filled with its share of worries but it’s good and happy and exciting and joyful . . . it’s just not that at all right now. Ugh. To make it worse I could be evicted at anytime and have nowhere to go. I will be homeless and that worries me most most most of all. God does care, I know he does. This is NOT what He had planned for my life. That path has been obliterated beyond repair and so I need to make it somehow. But how? God will help me out. It’s not out of His hands. Faith in His wonderful son is what I always have. Thank You, Jesus, for always being there and for giving me hope. I have not and will not abandon my faith. I know that with your guidance I can survive and find once again the happyness that I’d like to have once again.