I had a major breakthrough today. I have been through so much during the three years since I was adopted into God's family. More than anything I could have ever imagined. And my focus has always been on Christ. I want to live for Him, I want to preach the Gospel, win souls for Him, and know more about Him everyday, and I keep praying His will be done in my life, no matter what. That's literally all I want from life, and it has cost me a lot to get to this place. I had to give up so much, and it is worth it. Jesus Christ is worthy to give up everything for!
I can handle most things, like bullying and persecution coming from non-believers. It's easy! I understand where that is coming from, because I was like them for so long, hating God and listening to the lies of the serpent. BUT when false Christians and false prophets, attacked me it affected me so deeply, because I felt like God hated me and that He was choosing them over me. It was completely illogical, because they were just focusing on themselves and not on God, and why would He be for them? There was like this dark cloud hanging over me, oppressing me, telling me how worthless I am and how much better than me they are, and I have had that curse upon me since I was a little child, because I have faced so much rejection my whole life. Mentally, I know that God loves me and is with me every step of the way, but my heart just wouldn't agree with it. He has been healing me now for days, and pulling me out of the dark hole I was in, finally getting me to understand that He has chosen me from the foundation of the world, and that He has a mission for me to accomplish on Earth that He has created me for. Nothing is gonna stop that! After I was suicidal He even said to me with a smile that even if I managed to kill myself, He would just bring me right back to life, because I'm not done here. I have chosen to do the work that He has walked before me to do, and He is going to get me there, no matter what.
What God said to me today about those who has tried to hurt me was "They are trying to get in the way of one of my children reaching full maturity in Christ" and I just felt how much He is against those who try and hurt me or try and teach me falsehood. And I felt how it's all about their pride. Because it's all about Him for me, but all about them for them. They see something in me that they can't handle, because it threatens their egos, and they attack me. I am devoted and dedicated to the Gospel, to Christ, and not to myself, and they are still very much so focused on their own image and how others perceive them. And when they see that I preach Truth and Jesus Christ, they cannot handle that if they aren't there yet themselves. So they defend themselves and they attack me, try and bring me down. But God opened my eyes today to see how He is protecting me and is always going to vindicate me, and He made me understand how they aren't attacking me if they are attacking the fruit that He has brought forth in me or the things that He is doing for me, but they are attacking Him. (And of course He has also spoken to me about what's going on in the spirit realm, because it's not flesh we're facing, but I chose not to talk about that in this blog entry). He isn't going to let that just slide, and in no way is He rejecting me because they are rejecting me, instead He is going to bless me and show me more love because I have been attacked for preaching His truth. And it doesn't matter if someone calls him or herself a Christian, a prophet or teacher, if their words don't line up with Scripture or what the Holy Spirit has taught me, I can know for sure that they are speaking falsehood and deceiving themselves. If their focus is all on them and not on Christ and on serving others, I'm just gonna choose not to listen to them at all from now on.
I am still so early in my walk with Christ, still taking my first steps with Jesus, still struggling so hard to let go of my past, and the Lord is doing so much to help me overcome it all. And I see how He isn't letting go despite every effort that the enemy is throwing at me to get me to let go. And Jesus has gotten me so far in such a short time, I know that He is going to use me for a lot of good in the future. HIS will be done, not ours!
NOTHING is gonna stop me from walking with Christ, NOTHING is gonna stop me from maturing and growing, NOTHING is gonna stop me from winning souls for Christ, NOTHING is gonna stop me from helping other people, NOTHING is going to stop me from preaching holiness and a life dedicated to the Lord. If anyone wants to get in the way of that again, they better take it up with God, because it's Him they will be facing.
I can handle most things, like bullying and persecution coming from non-believers. It's easy! I understand where that is coming from, because I was like them for so long, hating God and listening to the lies of the serpent. BUT when false Christians and false prophets, attacked me it affected me so deeply, because I felt like God hated me and that He was choosing them over me. It was completely illogical, because they were just focusing on themselves and not on God, and why would He be for them? There was like this dark cloud hanging over me, oppressing me, telling me how worthless I am and how much better than me they are, and I have had that curse upon me since I was a little child, because I have faced so much rejection my whole life. Mentally, I know that God loves me and is with me every step of the way, but my heart just wouldn't agree with it. He has been healing me now for days, and pulling me out of the dark hole I was in, finally getting me to understand that He has chosen me from the foundation of the world, and that He has a mission for me to accomplish on Earth that He has created me for. Nothing is gonna stop that! After I was suicidal He even said to me with a smile that even if I managed to kill myself, He would just bring me right back to life, because I'm not done here. I have chosen to do the work that He has walked before me to do, and He is going to get me there, no matter what.
What God said to me today about those who has tried to hurt me was "They are trying to get in the way of one of my children reaching full maturity in Christ" and I just felt how much He is against those who try and hurt me or try and teach me falsehood. And I felt how it's all about their pride. Because it's all about Him for me, but all about them for them. They see something in me that they can't handle, because it threatens their egos, and they attack me. I am devoted and dedicated to the Gospel, to Christ, and not to myself, and they are still very much so focused on their own image and how others perceive them. And when they see that I preach Truth and Jesus Christ, they cannot handle that if they aren't there yet themselves. So they defend themselves and they attack me, try and bring me down. But God opened my eyes today to see how He is protecting me and is always going to vindicate me, and He made me understand how they aren't attacking me if they are attacking the fruit that He has brought forth in me or the things that He is doing for me, but they are attacking Him. (And of course He has also spoken to me about what's going on in the spirit realm, because it's not flesh we're facing, but I chose not to talk about that in this blog entry). He isn't going to let that just slide, and in no way is He rejecting me because they are rejecting me, instead He is going to bless me and show me more love because I have been attacked for preaching His truth. And it doesn't matter if someone calls him or herself a Christian, a prophet or teacher, if their words don't line up with Scripture or what the Holy Spirit has taught me, I can know for sure that they are speaking falsehood and deceiving themselves. If their focus is all on them and not on Christ and on serving others, I'm just gonna choose not to listen to them at all from now on.
I am still so early in my walk with Christ, still taking my first steps with Jesus, still struggling so hard to let go of my past, and the Lord is doing so much to help me overcome it all. And I see how He isn't letting go despite every effort that the enemy is throwing at me to get me to let go. And Jesus has gotten me so far in such a short time, I know that He is going to use me for a lot of good in the future. HIS will be done, not ours!
NOTHING is gonna stop me from walking with Christ, NOTHING is gonna stop me from maturing and growing, NOTHING is gonna stop me from winning souls for Christ, NOTHING is gonna stop me from helping other people, NOTHING is going to stop me from preaching holiness and a life dedicated to the Lord. If anyone wants to get in the way of that again, they better take it up with God, because it's Him they will be facing.
