I had the best day yesterday. 
My boss at work was doing these yearly evaluation talks with us (I don't know the word for them in English) and it was my turn.
I got worried, because I have struggled so much lately with condemnation, and I feel like I messed up so much the last year, I have been worried what people are saying about me or what the company we work for had reported about me, because I don't want to be a bad witness of Christ. I know I'm a mess, a social outcast since I was a child, I have very little social skills and I can't always speak correctly or act "normal". I'm a nervous wreck, who rarely does anything right and every day is a struggle, I have to depend on God in every detail. But when I give everything to God, then things turn out really well. And I give everything to Him!
Here is what she said:
She hadn't received a single complaint about me for one and a half year, and that is very rare (people there are gossips who fight and who report each other for the smallest things). Well, God says to work for our human masters as though we're working for Him, and He helps me do a good job, despite who I am.
She said I was always calm, never stressed out and that it was unique. Of course... It's the peace of God that surpasses all understanding.
She said I tend to think things through before acting. That's the Holy Spirit sorting out the chaos in my mind, leading me, giving me wisdom.
She asked me what comments and reactions I had received from others, I told the truth that they say they like me, say nice things about me and one colleague who always gossips told me with a complaining tone "no one ever says anything bad about you". She said of course, because I never do anything wrong. Well, that's because God helps me overcome my sins, and He fills me with love when I speak to people, He makes me care and value them above myself. Though I fail a lot, He convicts and changes me.
And He protects me, and makes sure that what I put my hands to is blessed, especially when I do all of it for His glory.
I didn't tell her those things about God, but I had asked God to lead me and put my focus on Him. My boss asked me some personal questions and she asked "What takes up most of your time?" The only thing I could say was "God! He takes up all of my time" and we got to talking about my faith.
I'm not bragging, it is absolutely not self-righteousness, honestly I'm in shock. This is all the fruit of the Holy Spirit, and my colleagues are seeing it. I'm really a witness for Christ, glorifying Him in my body. I have prayed for it, longed for it, because it is His will, and I have seen it partly, but never like this. It's amazing, praise God! This is what He has done!!!
Some of my colleagues at this job hate my faith, that's for sure, and they don't like me at all, there has been, and will be more, mocking and persecution. Not as much as I have been suffering from at previous jobs yet, but it may come. But at least it won't be because I'm a terrible person like I used to be. And I'll be able to love them.
I'm staring at God, completely awestruck! I have never felt this encouraged. I went from feeling condemned to filled with praise in seconds, and then later God led me to present the Gospel to a colleague, who responded very well to it. Everything that has happened to me has been worth it.
If God can save and change someone like me, He can save and change anyone. Nothing can stop His purposes, and what He says He will do, He does. All Glory to God! This is what happens when we surrender to Him! He completely transforms us into the image of Christ, and people can see it.
I was such an incredibly evil person before I got saved... I was hateful and mean, selfish and cruel, manipulative and controlling, no pure thoughts, no good words to speak. People would say I was dangerous and evil, and they wanted to flee from me. I didn't want to be that person, but I couldn't change, it only ever got worse until I had completely lost my mind...
Today, praise God, they see Christ in me, although they don't know it's Him, and they ask about it, and I get to witness. And all Glory to God! I didn't do any of this, if anything, my own actions have hindered God. Yet He changed me. I love Him so much, but still only because He loves me first. It's easy for me to follow Jesus, because He makes it easy, but it's hard for me to see myself as He sees me. But this showed me how much fruit He has produced in me in the last year and a half, while I was going through the worst suffering of my life. I'm really happy. My birthday is coming soon, and this is one amazing birthday gift.
Thank God! Praise Him!!! Lord Jesus, I surrender and commit everything to You, every day, keep making me like You, it's awesome! You, and only You, make my life worth living.
My boss at work was doing these yearly evaluation talks with us (I don't know the word for them in English) and it was my turn.
I got worried, because I have struggled so much lately with condemnation, and I feel like I messed up so much the last year, I have been worried what people are saying about me or what the company we work for had reported about me, because I don't want to be a bad witness of Christ. I know I'm a mess, a social outcast since I was a child, I have very little social skills and I can't always speak correctly or act "normal". I'm a nervous wreck, who rarely does anything right and every day is a struggle, I have to depend on God in every detail. But when I give everything to God, then things turn out really well. And I give everything to Him!
Here is what she said:
She hadn't received a single complaint about me for one and a half year, and that is very rare (people there are gossips who fight and who report each other for the smallest things). Well, God says to work for our human masters as though we're working for Him, and He helps me do a good job, despite who I am.
She said I was always calm, never stressed out and that it was unique. Of course... It's the peace of God that surpasses all understanding.
She said I tend to think things through before acting. That's the Holy Spirit sorting out the chaos in my mind, leading me, giving me wisdom.
She asked me what comments and reactions I had received from others, I told the truth that they say they like me, say nice things about me and one colleague who always gossips told me with a complaining tone "no one ever says anything bad about you". She said of course, because I never do anything wrong. Well, that's because God helps me overcome my sins, and He fills me with love when I speak to people, He makes me care and value them above myself. Though I fail a lot, He convicts and changes me.
And He protects me, and makes sure that what I put my hands to is blessed, especially when I do all of it for His glory.
I didn't tell her those things about God, but I had asked God to lead me and put my focus on Him. My boss asked me some personal questions and she asked "What takes up most of your time?" The only thing I could say was "God! He takes up all of my time" and we got to talking about my faith.
I'm not bragging, it is absolutely not self-righteousness, honestly I'm in shock. This is all the fruit of the Holy Spirit, and my colleagues are seeing it. I'm really a witness for Christ, glorifying Him in my body. I have prayed for it, longed for it, because it is His will, and I have seen it partly, but never like this. It's amazing, praise God! This is what He has done!!!
Some of my colleagues at this job hate my faith, that's for sure, and they don't like me at all, there has been, and will be more, mocking and persecution. Not as much as I have been suffering from at previous jobs yet, but it may come. But at least it won't be because I'm a terrible person like I used to be. And I'll be able to love them.
I'm staring at God, completely awestruck! I have never felt this encouraged.
I went from feeling condemned to filled with praise in seconds, and then later God led me to present the Gospel to a colleague, who responded very well to it. Everything that has happened to me has been worth it. If God can save and change someone like me, He can save and change anyone.
Nothing can stop His purposes, and what He says He will do, He does. All Glory to God! This is what happens when we surrender to Him! He completely transforms us into the image of Christ, and people can see it. I was such an incredibly evil person before I got saved... I was hateful and mean, selfish and cruel, manipulative and controlling, no pure thoughts, no good words to speak. People would say I was dangerous and evil, and they wanted to flee from me. I didn't want to be that person, but I couldn't change, it only ever got worse until I had completely lost my mind...
Today, praise God, they see Christ in me, although they don't know it's Him, and they ask about it, and I get to witness.
And all Glory to God! I didn't do any of this, if anything, my own actions have hindered God. Yet He changed me. I love Him so much, but still only because He loves me first. It's easy for me to follow Jesus, because He makes it easy, but it's hard for me to see myself as He sees me. But this showed me how much fruit He has produced in me in the last year and a half, while I was going through the worst suffering of my life. I'm really happy. My birthday is coming soon, and this is one amazing birthday gift. Thank God! Praise Him!!!
Lord Jesus, I surrender and commit everything to You, every day, keep making me like You, it's awesome! You, and only You, make my life worth living. 
