I was raised a mainstream Protestant Christian. I was always comfortable admitting my belief in the Christian god. From my mid-late teens until age 25 I was a very devoted Evangelical.
In January 2004 I abandoned Christianity and "faith" based religion{due to intellectual doubts, lack of any god presense in my life, and other issues}. I discovered the religious philosophy of Deism{belief in god based on reason,evidence,natural law} and remain such to this day.
Though I have been through a few other beliefs
I became Deist, rather I realized I was Deist because I may have lost faith in faith and theism, but I still could'nt and can't deny the validity of the arguments from design and argument of "first cause". I have always been a doubtful deist though{in other words, maintained an element of doubt, not 100% certain- but in the 90'th percentile; thus I am faithless}. I suppose some may call me an Agnostic-Deist, which if cool, but I do lean strongly towards Deism; and not JUST classical deism though, but a progrssive kind of it, I often find myself leaning towards PanDeism/PanenDeism{the universe is or is a part of God, but unlike in Pantheism- not a "personal" or human-centric divinity}. I am Deist because it makes logical sense, it is backed up by reason, can be evidenced{though not YET "proven"}and it does not defy natural laws and scientific findings or reason.
I also joined the "Universist"{not UniverSAList} movment in April "04" and remained a active member for two eyars{dropped it April "06" do to some changes in the movement and philosophy which meant the dropping of the elements that attracted me, or at least the dumbing down oif them}. It was a freethought reason-based religious philosophy that advocated leanings towards either Deism,Athiesm,Pantheism,Trancendentalism, or Agnosticism, and like-minded humantic,rationalistic spiritualities or philosophies. It's basis is open-minded "uncertainty"{faithlessness} and inspiration in beeing uncertain. However, as I said I no longer remain a member.
I also started researching Satanism,Luciferianism, and the Occult in late "04"/early "05". I began taking my interest in both Luciferianism and Satanism quite seriuosly around March-ish '05", even though I'd allready joined an online Luciferian order/church-'The Church of Lucifer" a few months before hand{of which i am no longer a member}. I have studied all forms of Satanism and Luciferianism{many different types} and have adopted elements of modern Satanism mixed with a stronger focus on "Luciferiainism" or "Lucifer"{as "light-bearer", SYMBOLICAL}, and what is called "Dark Doctrines" Satanism{SAT/TAN} which deals with with scientific ideals and the animating ONE DARKNESS{the dark,unknown first cause/prime mover which caused big bang and infuses the creation itself in an impersonal manner, creating and destroying; wherein SAT is Vedantic/Sanscrit for "Pure existence /or BEEING" and TAN is such for "Unfolding into, becoming into, BECOMING"}, it combines a small element of the modern non-theistic Satanism with a more deistic{or pandeistic} take and with Taoist and Vedantic and oither eastern philosophies/religions ideas. I find this to be a great description of the deists "natures God" and of the first cause/prime mover, and thus am drawn to it; and also am inspired to become more self-aware/self-knowledgable and become into myself{in the exoteric and esoteric sense}, always recognizing myself as part of the ALL{which includes everyone and everything else}. I have the modern Satanism and Luciferianism elements added on for psychological inspiration and.or cathartic value.
I am and remain a faithless, semi-spiritual ,reason-based freethinking seeker; and am currently on both the path of Deism{and it's offshoots} and these forms of Satanism/Luciferianism/Occultism. I emphasize Deism or Satanism{Luciferianism} at different times, in different contexts, to differing degrees, depending on what I see fit for the context. I am not uncomfortable with calling the deistic 1st cause/prime mover "God", though I see no reason to be uncomfrtable with calling it "Satan" either[both are human made words for the ineffable,vast thing that got the ball rollin}for different reasons. Geneally I just call it by functional titles though= "first cause", "prime mover',"Creative intelleligence/creator", so on and so forth.
It could be said I believe in the "probability'{not certainty] of a Cosmocrator"{cosmos creator} or "Godevil".
I am inspired by the search and the freethinking process{via reason-based philosophy} and by experimenting with occult ideology/practice to see what if any validity there be to it.
In Reason:
Irrev.Bill
