Your age limits

[AztecSDSU]

Strangely I can actually understand where a man might find it too extreme and weird if he's the younger one. Sort of makes sense I guess.

The obvious lack of sexual attraction works both ways. You're just conditioned to see the financial benefits of such an arrangement, whereas men are not conditioned in such a way. In both cases the lack of desire to be sexually intimate with someone old to to be one's parent would equally apply and be equally unnatural.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

It is contrary to the natural order of things to have a sexual relationship with someone literally old enough to be your parent. People have tried to justify all kinds of insane stuff with "it's God's will," not buying it.

No, me having sex with a woman would be contrary to the natural order of things. Not me having sex with a man who happens to be 20 years older than I am. And I wouldn't classify a young woman marrying an older man as something insane.

Pretty sure there's worse things in life.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

The obvious lack of sexual attraction works both ways. You're just conditioned to see the financial benefits of such an arrangement, whereas men are not conditioned in such a way. In both cases the lack of desire to be sexually intimate with someone old to to be one's parent would equally apply and be equally unnatural.

Me personally? Or women in general? ...Oh, that cynicism of yours. In a very twisted way...I'm almost beginning to enjoy it.

Well, I can assure you, the financial benefits never occurred to me personally.

 

[Shattered-Reflections]

I think age ranges and maturity plays a huge role in this.

When you're in your 20's 5 years younger is a vast difference. However when you get to your 30's and beyond I wouldn't think it's such a big deal. One of my Aunts 2nd marriage was with a man 4 years her junior and that has worked out fine for her. I have heard of marriages that have/had a 10-11 years of differences that worked out fine. The problem is in recent history our western culture looks upon 10+ age disparities as an "evil" or "perverse" so most decent men would stay away from that age difference. Because it's not culturally accepted and there are some real creeps out there, I'd be concerned if a man wasn't at least hesitant about the difference.

I use to think age made no difference, but found out life experience does. The longer you've lived the more set in who you are, what you believe, and where you're going. I think by the time someone's 24 you can get a good idea of who they are. Of course they'll grow and change, but generally they're past youth angst and immaturity and the "what do I want in life" stages.

To me what matters is who someone is and how stable that person is in who they are (I'm talking their character, their spiritual maturity, their relationship with God, etc). Generally speaking I prefer older men and "theoretically" would date someone 9 years older. However I only know for sure I'm comfortable with 6 years older. I use to say I wouldn't date anyone younger, but... that's rather prejudice if the guy had all the right qualities and character. I'd still rather a guy be older and I'd still wouldn't date someone who wasn't at least 24

 

[Shattered-Reflections]

Me personally? Or women in general? ...Oh, that cynicism of yours. In a very twisted way...I'm almost beginning to enjoy it.

Well, I can assure you, the financial benefits never occurred to me personally.

Can't say there aren't people out there who only care about a checkbook, my friend's sister did just that. But I think many mature Christian women are more concerned with spiritual maturity and character which increases with age. While I would never encourage someone to marry a lazy-deadbeat but someone who has proven they can at least pull their own weight, financial security is an illusion. You can do everything right and still lose everything because life can swiftly take control away from you. Marrying for money in my mind is naïve at best. Having a man who has strength of character and spiritual maturity to endure and make the best of whatever is thrown at him -- is what a woman really needs

 

[Owlette]

Yeah. I'm not one to think about the financial benefits of marrying a guy. I think basing your reasons for marrying on money will land you in a shallow marriage. That's the last thing I want. Totally agree with Shattered too.

 

[Miles]

The "old enough to be their parent" argument has always seemed odd to me. Especially when discussing a 10-20 year gap. This may have something to do with the fact that my parents are about 40 years older than me. Women 40 years my junior haven't even been born yet. As such, it strikes me as a strange argument for not dating a 25 year old. Although I suppose I technically could have fathered a child at 13, that's not the parent/child age difference I'm most familiar with. It's more like the age gap between me and my siblings.

That being said, I agree with what Shattered said about young adults under 24 or so. I'd be hesitant to date someone in that age group because they're still developing. Folks in their early twenties can seem quite mature and wise beyond their years, yet many are still undergoing big changes. My primary fear when it comes to dating someone in that age group is that we might soon grow apart.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

Can't say there aren't people out there who only care about a checkbook, my friend's sister did just that. But I think many mature Christian women are more concerned with spiritual maturity and character which increases with age. While I would never encourage someone to marry a lazy-deadbeat but someone who has proven they can at least pull their own weight, financial security is an illusion. You can do everything right and still lose everything because life can swiftly take control away from you. Marrying for money in my mind is naïve at best. Having a man who has strength of character and spiritual maturity to endure and make the best of whatever is thrown at him -- is what a woman really needs

Agreed.

 

[J.B.]

Although I may meet somebody special that does not meet the criteria, I have lately adopted the police of allowing myself to date and to possibly marry somebody within a range of being five years older, or five years younger than I am. More specifically, I think three years young, and three years older, a difference of up to three years, is more of my ideal than five years. I think that such a policy allows for me to consider a broad range of ages acceptable to date from. However, if somebody is as young as 18 years old right now, and attending the same university as I do, then I would consider her eligible as well, if she has special qualities that I'd look for in a future wife. I think in this era, considering marriage candidates from such a broad range of ages is a more well accepted than it used to be. People in the United States at least, also tend to marry later than their early 20s, or even later than the mid 20s. I may or may not be married by the age of 30, although I find it unlikely if I do not know that person right now, nearly five years earlier. I am not so sure that I may marry somebody even born the same year as I had been, so I have resigned myself to accepting a wider range of ages that I could be comfortable with considering, especially in the context of attending university. Ultimately, God may intend for me to remain single, in order for me to most efficiently carry out the plans He has for my life.

 

[AztecSDSU]

No, me having sex with a woman would be contrary to the natural order of things. Not me having sex with a man who happens to be 20 years older than I am. And I wouldn't classify a young woman marrying an older man as something insane.

Pretty sure there's worse things in life.

If you want to marry some dude pushing 50 for his money that's your affair. Enjoy running to the pharmacy for little blue pills.
The human life cycle is what it is, and young healthy individuals having sexual relationships with the old and fading is not part of the natural life cycle of any species on this plant. Doing so is contrary to the natural order of things. That does include homosexual behavior as well, but hey, if that's what you want to do then that's cool as well. People try to argue that's normal and natural all the time as well, doesn't make it so.

 

[AztecSDSU]

Me personally? Or women in general? ...Oh, that cynicism of yours. In a very twisted way...I'm almost beginning to enjoy it.

Well, I can assure you, the financial benefits never occurred to me personally.

In this case neither, it's not limited to you personally but it's not an in general statement. I meant women from fundamentalist religious backgrounds are one's most attached to the provider model of marriage. Increase age usually equals increased income, so you do the math there. The other argument, scoping dudes in the AAPR line for their hot bodies, yeah you'll forgive my cynicism but I'm not buying it.

 

[GQ Chris]

Olivier Sarkozy and Mary Kate Olsen (17 years age difference)

 

[MehGuy]

The youngest I'd date would be 19..

The oldest I'd date? Depends.. If she's the dominate one.. I could go early-mid 30s.. if she's submissive.. eh.. ummm.. hmmm.. 27..

 

[GQ Chris]

28-40

 

[Miles]

If you want to marry some dude pushing 50 for his money that's your affair. Enjoy running to the pharmacy for little blue pills.
The human life cycle is what it is, and young healthy individuals having sexual relationships with the old and fading is not part of the natural life cycle of any species on this plant. Doing so is contrary to the natural order of things. That does include homosexual behavior as well, but hey, if that's what you want to do then that's cool as well. People try to argue that's normal and natural all the time as well, doesn't make it so.

You know just enough to be dangerous, but not enough to know how to handle that information. Do yourself a favor and listen for a change. Take some time to observe people before you even consider passing such public judgments. Get to know them as individuals, rather than presumptuously lumping them in with the statistical average or how you think they should be. Trying to tell people what their opinions are, as you're doing on this board, is frankly wrongheaded and offensive.

 

[GQ Chris]

People with significant age differences will continue to hook up despite anyone's disdain of it.

 

[Gnarwhal]

I couldn't date a chick that wasn't old enough to have a beer, it just feels wrong.

 

[Nanopants]

However old or young, she'll have to make it through the gauntlet o_o

 

[AztecSDSU]

You know just enough to be dangerous, but not enough to know how to handle that information. Do yourself a favor and listen for a change. Take some time to observe people before you even consider passing such public judgments. Get to know them as individuals, rather than presumptuously lumping them in with the statistical average or how you think they should be. Trying to tell people what their opinions are, as you're doing on this board, is frankly wrongheaded and offensive.

1. I can't tell anyone what their opinions are. Outside of God, I don't really think anyone has the power to make anyone think anything and he doesn't choose to exercise that ability.
2.I call them like I see them. Never really been one to pull punches, or worry that someone is going to be offended. I figure it like this: people love themselves above anyone else on this plant. So if you're fine with what you're doing then the opinion of someone shouldn't matter at all. If someone else's opinion offends you then you fundamentally feel what you're doing is wrong and they're just the messenger.
3.I'm not big on social fiction, which is nothing more than people lying to themselves and then expecting everyone to join their lies.

 

[Strider1002]

That's right, Aztec. You're just the only one here who's willing to be REAL and the rest of us can't cope