You know you're a Creationist if . . .

[Oncedeceived]

You might be a creationist if:
you hear something comes from the four corners of the world and you think it is literal.

 

[Loudmouth]

You might be a Creationist if . . .

emoticons make better arguments than you do.

you think the Modern Synthesis was an 80's band.

you go to Dr. Dino for a sinus infection.

you believe that rocks float on water (see Walt Brown).

a degree in computer science is all the education needed to overthrow the theory of evolution.

the existence of the EAC keeps you up at night.

you can't laugh at the jokes in this thread.

 

[I_Love_Cheese]

Archaeopteryx is just a dinosaur.

 

[Hydra009]

You think the height of science was 2,000 years ago.

You have Romans 1:22 memorized. (Bonus points if it's from the KJV)

You object to the "homo" in Homo sapiens. That goes double for homo erectus.

You think that a scientific theory is a wild guess and a scientific law is a fact.

You use Pascal's Wager as a refutation of evolution.

You can easily complete the following sentence: "Evolution! More like ___lution!"

 

[Kahalachan]

You disregard libraries of evidence, but put stock in the first couple chapters of a poetic story book.

 

[Mling]

re: ribs.
My mom was in an Anatomy Physiology class, and there a was girl in the class who was shocked, unnerved and downright horrified when she disected a male cadaver to find that he had a full set of ribs. The professor had to explain that God gave Adam a new rib to replace the one he took.

 

[Praxiteles]

You may be a creationist if...

...you think that everyone secretly believes in your God, but is just too afraid to admit it.

...you've had to replace the CapsLock key on your keyboard at least once.

...you wonder whether Charles Darwin was possessed by the devil, or actually was the devil in a long white beard disguise.

...God/Kent/Ken/Pat said it, I believe it!

 

[Lord_Marx]

You may be a creationist if your forum posts have more fonts, sizes, and colors then a typical magazine cover.

 

[rambot]

you may be a creationist if:
- You firmly believe rules of logic are more like rubber bands to be stretched and mishapen.

- You are as funny as a Sally Worth comic

- You agree with the following:
If I am 29 years old, on my next birthday, I'll be 1.7x10^9 years old.

- You TOTALLY understand why God, an infinately powerful being would need to take a day off to rest.

- Your post to reputation ration is less than 3:1

- You think everyone is wrong until they agree with you. Then, suddenly, they understand.

- you read the "you might be an evolutionist if" thread and didn't laugh but GOT REALLY angry.
(Bonus points if you did the same for this thread!!!)

 

[BeamMeUpScotty]

You might be a creationist if you...

view Jack Chick tracts as well thought out arguments.

think of Michael Behe as one of the leading thinkers in the biological sciences.

think the Dover decision was carried out by an activist judge (even if he is a Republican Bush appointee).

believe in miracles but still try to explain things like the flood through naturalistic methods.

 

[shernren]

You might be a creationist if you think a 1.6m-tall human can have a skull the size of four baseballs.

(I kid you not. The volume of a baseball is about 206cc; Turkana Boy's cranial capacity was about 880cc. 824cc is a reasonable underestimate, less than 10% out, especially considering the volume of a baseball is more likely to be overestimated than under.)

 

[Opethian]

You might be a creationist if you start a misspelled thread called "the failiure of science".

 

[Grummpy]

If you think "Then a miracle occured" is a valid answer on a biology test.

Grumpy

 

[Garnett]

If you're getting doubly angry because a) you can't think of anything crushing to post in the other thread and b) the mods are taking so long to respond to your demands this one be deleted.
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[Oliver]

... if you think evolution is a big mafia in worldwide (sic)

 

[Late_Cretaceous]

You might be a Young Earth Creationist if you look out the window expecting to see actual cats and dogs falling from the sky when someone says "wow, it's raining cats and dogs".

You might be a Young Earth Creationist if you think someone is in danger of being murdered by their own appendages when they say "my feet are killing me"

You might be a Young Earth Creationist if you take it as a compliment when someone says to you "nice parking job" after having parked crooked in a parking lot.

 

[Hydra009]

You might be a creationist if you've responded to one of the many "evidence for creationism" or "practical applications of creationism" threads with a list of famous scientists who have held creationist beliefs, criticisms of evolution, or a claim that the Bible is true.

 

[Nooj]

You might be a creationist if you're walking past the Natural History Museum and you think that it would be better as 'Who sees Him?'.

 

[Self Improvement]

You might be a creationist if you use the internet to emphasize the failure of science.

 

[Praxiteles]

You know you're a cdesign proponentsist if...


...hyperbaric chambers are proof of a young earth.

...you are Mr and Mrs Hovind's little boy, Kent.

...the Federal Courts are chock-a-block with activist judges.