I have a very good online friend who writes very little to me, and I find as time is going by and I am observing this more and more, that I'm coming to the conclusion we are very incompatible.
Most often my friend is very general and they only write a few lines, never really going into the depths or detail of anything they are writing about. This presents itself as quite shallow and boring to me, and I am losing my interest. There are rare occasions this person writes about a personal problem they are having, but again, the comments are very general, and don't present much detail. Even after writing only a small amount, they apologize and say that they are sorry for bothering me, or they will say "enough about me."
In contrast I am 100%/ 90 degrees different. I am a natural writer, and I can write a lot. I also am very open, detailed and deep when I express myself. If I have a problem, and I am asking for their opinion, I don't have a problem being the same. So I do write more than my friend, but not too much in my opinion, that would overwhelm someone. As well, I always say to them that they are free to reply back anytime they want, no pressure. Every time I write, as well, I make sure to ask her what is going on in her life, or what is she doing today. As well, I reply to every comment she makes, more or less, from her last reply.
This is where my biggest hurt is: On a regular basis and frequently, she does not reply to most of my comments, even if I ask her a question (even 2x) outright. As well, if I am expressing a complaint (which she says feel free to vent anytime - she loves to hear me vent), many times she be silent about it afterwards, almost like I never said anything at all! In these times I don't know what to think. Is she ignoring me, does she not want to answer the question, or is she playing some kind of passive/agressive game with me? As I wrote above about how I have lost my exuberance for the relationship, I feel like all the time I take to write and express myself and try to have a good balanced and meaningful friendship, is like a waste. If she doesn't reply or comment I could be spending my energy somewhere else, I think often. As well, I feel even a bit embarrassed that she doesn't reply to me.
I have on many many occasions told her to please express herself more, that she can talk about herself more to me and even when I show interest in her problem or whatever circumstance, and I ask questions (to show I am interested in her and care) she will most often not reply. I just feel that is so rude.. As a result, our conversations have now become more shallow in the last couple months, because I have withdrawn to her style more and more, but I am not happy.
Don't get me wrong, we still have fun many times, and sometimes it is fun to talk about simple and shallow and mundane things, but it really has no substance that I crave.
Just looking to share and connect with some of you and see if anyone has experienced the same issue and what you did about it.
God Bless
Most often my friend is very general and they only write a few lines, never really going into the depths or detail of anything they are writing about. This presents itself as quite shallow and boring to me, and I am losing my interest. There are rare occasions this person writes about a personal problem they are having, but again, the comments are very general, and don't present much detail. Even after writing only a small amount, they apologize and say that they are sorry for bothering me, or they will say "enough about me."
In contrast I am 100%/ 90 degrees different. I am a natural writer, and I can write a lot. I also am very open, detailed and deep when I express myself. If I have a problem, and I am asking for their opinion, I don't have a problem being the same. So I do write more than my friend, but not too much in my opinion, that would overwhelm someone. As well, I always say to them that they are free to reply back anytime they want, no pressure. Every time I write, as well, I make sure to ask her what is going on in her life, or what is she doing today. As well, I reply to every comment she makes, more or less, from her last reply.
This is where my biggest hurt is: On a regular basis and frequently, she does not reply to most of my comments, even if I ask her a question (even 2x) outright. As well, if I am expressing a complaint (which she says feel free to vent anytime - she loves to hear me vent), many times she be silent about it afterwards, almost like I never said anything at all! In these times I don't know what to think. Is she ignoring me, does she not want to answer the question, or is she playing some kind of passive/agressive game with me? As I wrote above about how I have lost my exuberance for the relationship, I feel like all the time I take to write and express myself and try to have a good balanced and meaningful friendship, is like a waste. If she doesn't reply or comment I could be spending my energy somewhere else, I think often. As well, I feel even a bit embarrassed that she doesn't reply to me.
I have on many many occasions told her to please express herself more, that she can talk about herself more to me and even when I show interest in her problem or whatever circumstance, and I ask questions (to show I am interested in her and care) she will most often not reply. I just feel that is so rude.. As a result, our conversations have now become more shallow in the last couple months, because I have withdrawn to her style more and more, but I am not happy.
Don't get me wrong, we still have fun many times, and sometimes it is fun to talk about simple and shallow and mundane things, but it really has no substance that I crave.
Just looking to share and connect with some of you and see if anyone has experienced the same issue and what you did about it.
God Bless
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