Wow, this board is depressing

[Macrina]

I'm sorry I still define a single person as a person with no SO. If I want to know if you are married then I will say "Are you married?" but if I use the term single I'm asking if you have an SO.

I understand that's how you use the phrase, but my understanding is that for the purposes of this board, we use the classic definition of "unmarried." Although you prefaced your comment to Weasel with "I have nothing against you being here," your statement that he was not single did indeed imply a sort of second-class status on these boards.

I was already drifting away from this place before I got into a relationship, so maybe I should just accept your definition and move on. This isn't a very welcoming place anymore.

 

[Luther073082]

I understand that's how you use the phrase, but my understanding is that for the purposes of this board, we use the classic definition of "unmarried." Although you prefaced your comment to Weasel with "I have nothing against you being here," your statement that he was not single did indeed imply a sort of second-class status on these boards.

I was already drifting away from this place before I got into a relationship, so maybe I should just accept your definition and move on. This isn't a very welcoming place anymore.

I did not mean to imply any second class status on here, I am just saying that he does not fit my definition of what is single.

 

[mina]

it's not up to one person to decide who is welcome here and who isn't. Anyone who has something constructive to add should be able to post on whatever forum they want.

 

[Luther073082]

it's not up to one person to decide who is welcome here and who isn't. Anyone who has something constructive to add should be able to post on whatever forum they want.

Yes and I wasn't saying anyone wasn't welcome here, I was saying that he doesn't fit my definition of single.

A couple of people where arguing single reflects marital status and I see it as a relationship status.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

it's not up to one person to decide who is welcome here and who isn't. Anyone who has something constructive to add should be able to post on whatever forum they want.

 

[mina]

Yes and I wasn't saying anyone wasn't welcome here, I was saying that he doesn't fit my definition of single.

A couple of people where arguing single reflects marital status and I see it as a relationship status.

why does it matter? I mean really, so he doesn't fit your idea of single, so what? Yes, his perspective might be a little different b/c he now has a g/f, but people are allowed to have differnt perspectives. It's amazing to me how people can always find anything to cause division.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Another thing Luther, just because a person is in a relationship, and according to your definition not single, does not mean that they can't relate to what some people go through. Remember, everyone was single at some point.

 

[Luther073082]

why does it matter? I mean really, so he doesn't fit your idea of single, so what? Yes, his perspective might be a little different b/c he now has a g/f, but people are allowed to have differnt perspectives. It's amazing to me how people can always find anything to cause division.

Never mind, I simpily pointed out to him that he wasn't single and this has gotten blown way out of proportion.

Another thing Luther, just because a person is in a relationship, and according to your definition not single, does not mean that they can't relate to what some people go through. Remember, everyone was single at some point.

I never said he couldn't relate! I just said he wasn't single.

 

[WendyV]

Luther I understand were you are coming from and I see that you were not having a go at anyone or saying that they were not welcome here. I would agree that if you have a bf or gf you are not single - not for the purposes of who should or should not post on these forums or anything like that (obviously anyone that wants to is welcome to post), but if I asked someone if they were single and they said yes then I would take it that they were not even dating anyone.

 

[plum]

i just love seeing threads totally stonewalled by semantics, don't you?

moving right along...

 

[overit]

The OP has a point....actually I have a lot more fun on the debate boards

And you may have not said pathetic, but from somebody who's been on these boards much longer, some people IMO have acted pathetic. No everyone is free to tell me I'm a B and to get of the forum, BUT I should be free to voice my opinion. I'm 32 and have been divorced 3 1/2yrs....I roll my eyes at the "I'm so lonely I can't live w/out a SO, my life is so empty, I'm so sad, I hate being single" posts.

No offense to anyone personally, I'm just stating my brutally honest truth because I can't even begin to relate to the desperation I pick up on a lot of posts.

I like being single! It seems mainly I'm out of place here because I'm not miserable about it.


Oh, single means not married. Dating or having a SO IMO you are still single....engaged? Still single.

But that's semantics...actually I post in all kinds of boards, I posted in the married folder also because somebody was asking a question abotu pets and I felt I could contribute.

Every once in a while there are some great threads, and there are some posters here (likeminded) that ROCK! LOL...yeah you know who you are!

 

[joyouspirit]

Single it is!!!! Hey, I am positive!

God bless!

 

[koban4max]

This isn't meant to be offensive, but it's just sad seeing how some people are coping with being single. Just from breifly reading through some of the threads, it seems like some of your lives are just so dull without someone to share it with, and that makes me sad. I struggled with depression for about a year in regards to being single, but then I realized that I wasn't even trying to do anything about it. I just sat back and someone thought a perfect girl would magically find her way to me. I am only 17, so I have plenty of time left, but for those of you who are single, can you honestly say that you try to get out there and socialize? Heck, even church is a great place to start looking, because you know they will (or at least are more likely) to have the one quality that is most important. Anyway, I don't know everyone's story, and I know there's that theory that some people are just "gifted at being single" (which I say bahumbug too... God places desires in your heart for a reason, not to torture you), but maybe people aren't trying hard enough or are afraid to get out there on that "hip crazy scene" all the youngsters seem to be clamoring about today Anyway, I hope you all end up finding that special person, because I can't think of a more beautiful way to glorify God on Earth than through a relationship with another that includes God in everything.

WHat's wrong with being depressed?
That's pretty much happens for all of us.

 

[Infinite777]

WHat's wrong with being depressed?
That's pretty much happens for all of us.

Hold up there, I never said there wasn't anything wrong with being depressed. There is something wrong with it (unless you honest to God cannot help it due to mental disorders or whatever). I said I felt bad for those who were depressed, and I could sympathize since I've been there. But how offensive do you think the Lord finds it when people are depressed? "I'm such a loser, I can't do anything, etc. etc. etc." Who do you think created you? Who knows everything about you and made you original and unique? You are created in the image of God, and I honestly beleive that depression is offensive to God.

 

[koban4max]

Hold up there, I never said there wasn't anything wrong with being depressed. There is something wrong with it (unless you honest to God cannot help it due to mental disorders or whatever). I said I felt bad for those who were depressed, and I could sympathize since I've been there. But how offensive do you think the Lord finds it when people are depressed? "I'm such a loser, I can't do anything, etc. etc. etc." Who do you think created you? Who knows everything about you and made you original and unique? You are created in the image of God, and I honestly beleive that depression is offensive to God.

oh really?

 

[silentpoet]

I have not one person I can really share my hurt with. This board is the only place I really let it out. Well that and prayer, but He does not seem as He is listening. I try not to be negative, but at the end of the day I only have one hope that motivates me. And so often it seems so distant. Especially when I see others who God has blessed in a manner similar to what I so desperately want and need.

I call out very specifically to God at a minimum of 3 times a day on my specific request. And there is no sign that I can see that I am getting any closer. About the only hopeful thing is that my motivation to pray is still here. It occurred to me this evening that it is a hopeful sign because it is the only encouragement I have had in months. The specific pattern of prayer has started up in the last month or so. But other than that there is nothing.

It is easy for 17 year old to say have hope. But hope seems to dwindle as you grow older with no overt signs of God's provision. I pray you don't have to know as much painful waiting as I have, or indeed others on this board. Could you take it and still have any amount of faith? Could you take the thousands of nights spent alone? Could you take all the sorrow that goes with being picked last(that is how it feels)? Get some years and some wisdom before you condemn a fellow brother or sister in Christ who may have been carrying that cross longer than you have been alive up to now.

 

[JonMiller]

The reason why so many people on this board is depressed is that modern capitalistic soceity has failed them. Communities use to be formed which helped deal with such things, but with the current moving, independent, and materialistic workforce, many people lack the associations needed. This leaves many people left behind, so that they aren't finding anyone at a natural age.. instead having to trust that something will happen when they are much older. Which is hard to do. This lends to depression...

I have known a guy who were having tons of sex/etc still feeling this way because no one wanted to settle down with him. While it is beneficial for our pocket books to remain unmarried until our 30s, biologically this is unsatisfying.

JM

 

[koban4max]

I have not one person I can really share my hurt with. This board is the only place I really let it out. Well that and prayer, but He does not seem as He is listening. I try not to be negative, but at the end of the day I only have one hope that motivates me. And so often it seems so distant. Especially when I see others who God has blessed in a manner similar to what I so desperately want and need.

I call out very specifically to God at a minimum of 3 times a day on my specific request. And there is no sign that I can see that I am getting any closer. About the only hopeful thing is that my motivation to pray is still here. It occurred to me this evening that it is a hopeful sign because it is the only encouragement I have had in months. The specific pattern of prayer has started up in the last month or so. But other than that there is nothing.

It is easy for 17 year old to say have hope. But hope seems to dwindle as you grow older with no overt signs of God's provision. I pray you don't have to know as much painful waiting as I have, or indeed others on this board. Could you take it and still have any amount of faith? Could you take the thousands of nights spent alone? Could you take all the sorrow that goes with being picked last(that is how it feels)? Get some years and some wisdom before you condemn a fellow brother or sister in Christ who may have been carrying that cross longer than you have been alive up to now.

Y wait? Make it happen. Then God will help u. I just random talk to whoever and hit on girls randomly.

 

[AlexeiKaramazov]

The reason why so many people on this board is depressed is that modern capitalistic soceity has failed them. Communities use to be formed which helped deal with such things, but with the current moving, independent, and materialistic workforce, many people lack the associations needed. This leaves many people left behind, so that they aren't finding anyone at a natural age.. instead having to trust that something will happen when they are much older. Which is hard to do. This lends to depression...

I have known a guy who were having tons of sex/etc still feeling this way because no one wanted to settle down with him. While it is beneficial for our pocket books to remain unmarried until our 30s, biologically this is unsatisfying.

JM

I think this is pretty insightful. Most of the people on this board are Americans and America as a country is pretty individualistic and aloof. Where we once turned to friends, now we must turn to paid professionals (analysts) to talk over the stuff that's going down deep below. Or we talk to strangers.

 

[koban4max]

I think this is pretty insightful. Most of the people on this board are Americans and America as a country is pretty individualistic and aloof. Where we once turned to friends, now we must turn to paid professionals (analysts) to talk over the stuff that's going down deep below. Or we talk to strangers.

Sad for the americans.