wow its just one problem after another with me, isn't it?

[bluegreysky]

As if all the issues I have with boys and relationships weren't enough....

now it's pressure to change my living situation.

I have this great place to live in, a little far from school but oh well.
I got very attached to it right away because its brand-new, clean, spacious, and the girl it belongs to owns it basically so that means I got to cut around some typical apartment-complex rules like stuff about leases and when the rent is due. This also means I could leave at any time.

Lately, she has been irritated about something- i don't know if its school or work or her boyfriend or what, but we aren't really friends, I'm just renting from her- so its not like I can just go up and talk to her and she'll spill all her thoughts.
In fact, she doesn't really seem to like me at all.
We have 2 very different, incompatible personalities... but that's what 2 seperate bedrooms and 2 seperate schedules is for. We don't interact much.
Unfortunately, when we do interact, its awkward.
I don't know why, but I have a hunch.
It's her "house" that she decorated and has all her personal stuff in, then there's this random girl living in one of the rooms to help with the rent. That could be the gyst of it.
Regardless of what her logic is,
she has been agitated and irritated and moody and she takes it out on me. Little things that normally don't matter that much- like if I forget and leave something of mine out in the living room- they make her mad and she puts them on my bed with a note not to leave them out. Well...I can get used to it. I can learn to keep tidier then I do.
But then she wants me to get rid of some of my stuff.... stuff that I have to keep outside of my room like plants and a few other things...things that she didn't mind before. Things she said I could have or never said I couldn't. Suddenly, they are an intrusion and she wants them out. No buts.
Then she said not to park in the space marked for that particular apartment. It's her space now, no one else's... even if she's gone for the weekend, which she always is. Yet..her boyfriend gets to park his car there when he comes over, which is every day...and he doesn't even pay rent.
The list goes on.
Little by little, she does more and more things that say "I don't like you here. don't bother me. don't intrude on my space. stay in your little corner. I'm only putting up with you because you pay rent and I need that"
I find myself going out early in the morning (before shes up) for school, finding other things to occupy my time, and not coming home until after she is asleep and its all dark and quiet.
It's not cool.

So now pressure is on me.
I tell friends and my mom about this whole thing, and they say "well, then you should move. you're commuting too far anyway" "get a new roomate" "move out" "find somewhere closer" "find somewhere cheaper" "get your own place".... etc...
The more they say I should move out,
the more the idea gets into my head and drives me insane

Then I start looking for somewhere else to go.
I find places, but they aren't my home.
They are nice, granted, there are other apartments that are decent enough and have nice girls living in them that will be friends with their roomates....
but my apartment now is home.
Whether or not my roomate puts all kinds of rules and limitations on the stuff outside of my room, I still have that room with a door that I can lock, and that room is decorated the way I want and I have a bathroom for now until she gets a 3rd person
and its my haven where I can always go....
Nowhere else appeals to me that way.

If I up and move, leaving that behind is going to be so painful.
It's emotionally draining on me right now, as I only think about leaving.
I think the reason I'm so attached is because I had the privilege of living there for collectively nearly 2 months with the roomate not there...she had long since bought the place, but hadn't fully moved in and stayed at her parents' most of the time.
It was peace and quiet and out in the less-developed area with nature and far away from the dowtown area where I go to school and used to live in a dorm with all the city noise.
It was a dream come true.

This sucks. It feels like I'm talking about a soulmate or something.
One of those "there is no love like my first love" stories...
ha.
I'm only talking about where I live.

can you see now that this is getting out of hand?

 

[texastig]

As if all the issues I have with boys and relationships weren't enough....

now it's pressure to change my living situation.

I have this great place to live in, a little far from school but oh well.
I got very attached to it right away because its brand-new, clean, spacious, and the girl it belongs to owns it basically so that means I got to cut around some typical apartment-complex rules like stuff about leases and when the rent is due. This also means I could leave at any time.

Lately, she has been irritated about something- i don't know if its school or work or her boyfriend or what, but we aren't really friends, I'm just renting from her- so its not like I can just go up and talk to her and she'll spill all her thoughts.
In fact, she doesn't really seem to like me at all.
We have 2 very different, incompatible personalities... but that's what 2 seperate bedrooms and 2 seperate schedules is for. We don't interact much.
Unfortunately, when we do interact, its awkward.
I don't know why, but I have a hunch.
It's her "house" that she decorated and has all her personal stuff in, then there's this random girl living in one of the rooms to help with the rent. That could be the gyst of it.
Regardless of what her logic is,
she has been agitated and irritated and moody and she takes it out on me. Little things that normally don't matter that much- like if I forget and leave something of mine out in the living room- they make her mad and she puts them on my bed with a note not to leave them out. Well...I can get used to it. I can learn to keep tidier then I do.
But then she wants me to get rid of some of my stuff.... stuff that I have to keep outside of my room like plants and a few other things...things that she didn't mind before. Things she said I could have or never said I couldn't. Suddenly, they are an intrusion and she wants them out. No buts.
Then she said not to park in the space marked for that particular apartment. It's her space now, no one else's... even if she's gone for the weekend, which she always is. Yet..her boyfriend gets to park his car there when he comes over, which is every day...and he doesn't even pay rent.
The list goes on.
Little by little, she does more and more things that say "I don't like you here. don't bother me. don't intrude on my space. stay in your little corner. I'm only putting up with you because you pay rent and I need that"
I find myself going out early in the morning (before shes up) for school, finding other things to occupy my time, and not coming home until after she is asleep and its all dark and quiet.
It's not cool.

So now pressure is on me.
I tell friends and my mom about this whole thing, and they say "well, then you should move. you're commuting too far anyway" "get a new roomate" "move out" "find somewhere closer" "find somewhere cheaper" "get your own place".... etc...
The more they say I should move out,
the more the idea gets into my head and drives me insane

Then I start looking for somewhere else to go.
I find places, but they aren't my home.
They are nice, granted, there are other apartments that are decent enough and have nice girls living in them that will be friends with their roomates....
but my apartment now is home.
Whether or not my roomate puts all kinds of rules and limitations on the stuff outside of my room, I still have that room with a door that I can lock, and that room is decorated the way I want and I have a bathroom for now until she gets a 3rd person
and its my haven where I can always go....
Nowhere else appeals to me that way.

If I up and move, leaving that behind is going to be so painful.
It's emotionally draining on me right now, as I only think about leaving.
I think the reason I'm so attached is because I had the privilege of living there for collectively nearly 2 months with the roomate not there...she had long since bought the place, but hadn't fully moved in and stayed at her parents' most of the time.
It was peace and quiet and out in the less-developed area with nature and far away from the dowtown area where I go to school and used to live in a dorm with all the city noise.
It was a dream come true.

This sucks. It feels like I'm talking about a soulmate or something.
One of those "there is no love like my first love" stories...
ha.
I'm only talking about where I live.

can you see now that this is getting out of hand?

She should be fair since your paying some of the rent.
Don't let anyone bully you around.
Show her some extreme love if you can. Cook up a meal
for her and her boyfriend or something like that.
Get up in the morning before she does and pray for her.
Maybe the devil doesn't like you being there and that's
why there's tension. But ask God to show you how to
help her and bless her and you'll start seeing some changes
in her attitude.
Thanks,
TT

 

[ForeverInHisHand]

She should be fair since your paying some of the rent.
Don't let anyone bully you around.
Show her some extreme love if you can. Cook up a meal
for her and her boyfriend or something like that.
Get up in the morning before she does and pray for her.
Maybe the devil doesn't like you being there and that's
why there's tension. But ask God to show you how to
help her and bless her and you'll start seeing some changes
in her attitude.
Thanks,
TT

Yes, this is good.

The Devil loves to destroy relationships. Especially if he sees that God is using you to draw her to Him. Pray against this and cut off his attempts in the name of Jesus.

First pray the situation and for her.

You can even approaching your roommate and telling her some of your concerns. But you do need to be careful not to approach it with what could be perceived as either whining or agression. Maybe just, "Hey, I just want to make sure that you're still finding our landlord/tenant relationship ok. I've been feeling a bit of strain on it lately, I want to clear up any concerns that you have." If she has any, approach them with humility and ask forgiveness. If you really want to live there, you may have to eat crow.

God may also be trying to show you that you put too much importance on materialistic things. I don't you're renting, but this phrase still applies...If you aren't willing to give up your home, you don't own it. It owns you.

Have faith that God will always provide for you. If you do move out, you may find something that blesses you far beyond this current place. God's plan for you is perfect; be flexible for Him.

As you can see with all the possible causes, you really need to pray!!


Just as TT said, pour out the love and you'll be surprised at how much you get back.


Blessing!
FIHH

 

[texastig]

Yes, this is good.

The Devil loves to destroy relationships. Especially if he sees that God is using you to draw her to Him. Pray against this and cut off his attempts in the name of Jesus.

First pray the situation and for her.

You can even approaching your roommate and telling her some of your concerns. But you do need to be careful not to approach it with what could be perceived as either whining or agression. Maybe just, "Hey, I just want to make sure that you're still finding our landlord/tenant relationship ok. I've been feeling a bit of strain on it lately, I want to clear up any concerns that you have." If she has any, approach them with humility and ask forgiveness. If you really want to live there, you may have to eat crow.

God may also be trying to show you that you put too much importance on materialistic things. I don't you're renting, but this phrase still applies...If you aren't willing to give up your home, you don't own it. It owns you.

Have faith that God will always provide for you. If you do move out, you may find something that blesses you far beyond this current place. God's plan for you is perfect; be flexible for Him.

As you can see with all the possible causes, you really need to pray!!


Just as TT said, pour out the love and you'll be surprised at how much you get back.


Blessing!
FIHH

FIHH, that is some great advice!!!!
Thanks,
TT

 

[bluegreysky]

thanks for the advice
she said that it bugs here when i leave stuff it or the place isnt clean...
and i dont mean to leave it dirty, but im a full-time student
and sometiems i dont have time to clean my messes right away
but today i was finally done with a series of big projects
so I took some time and cleaned out the kitchen where my stuff was taking up too much space, and polished the surfaces.
I also bought my own dishes (originally she had alot of them and said i could use them, but i decided its better i have my own so i dont use all hers up and so i have them if i move)
she wanted me to get rid of my "garden" on the back porch
and I didn't want to
but i managed to compromise with her that I would get rid of the plants that leave leaves all over and keep just the ones that dont.
so hopefully all that will put me on her good side.

Then if i move, it will be because I chose to peacefully due to wanting to live closer to school, and not because we were irritable with each other all the time.