Would you (guys) date a single mom?

[trulyliving]

being someone who loves children, I defently would. Though i'm only 21 years old, so i would only really consider it if I was a bit older. Maybe 23 or something. Other than that I love kids and children show a sign of real matureity in the woman.







I'm sooo sorry I have my own frusteration about how the church deals with dating and marrege. so your not alone. A large part of the reason why I'm still single is because I wanna date a christain girl... but there are sooo many unspoken rules about how to go about it. First off finding a girl just to find a girl will get you thrown out of church [or shunned, pretty much the same thing]. Second, if you like a girl you can't ever EVEr let her know..... ever. Why? because it has to "develop from a freindship". Arah... i'm to frusterated to go on.

tell me about it (rolls eyes)... i wonder if you have the same problem i do... most single guys are just too young for me to date (I'm in my mid 30's) and maybe guys think that the hot single Christian spiritually mature women are a little too old for them to date (because the hot Christian spiritually mature women who are younger are married).

 

[trulyliving]

i love ....by the way... how this website counts down the number of seconds you have to wait until you can post again.... and it actually continues to count down through out each time you try to post again

 

[trulyliving]

The only way that I could think it would affect is the following.

1. You are not a virgin, a few guys are attached to marrying a virgin. This is very unlikely to be a problem in your mid 30's.

2. They don't want to be step dad.

3. They want children of their own and you do not want to or are not able to do that.

I doubt you are going to face anything different from the above.

Do you regularly meet unmarried Christian men your age? Because I'm 25 and I have a bit of trouble meeting unmarried Christian women that are my age.

not alot. i have more single non Christian male friends than single Christian male friends. and the few Christian male friends i have i don't talk to too often. and in terms of just meeting single Christian males as acquaintances, i guess we just really have alot of boundaries because we're so conscious of temptation, all the rules about Christian dating.. i just think being a single mom throws extra kindling into the fire....also, i'm picky because i'm always not letting myself not get attracted to guys unless i feel like God is parting the Red Sea between us. i'm weird like that, but I kinda look for "God's fingerprint" or "coincidences that glorify HIm"... after all of that, THEN i get attracted.... and if the guy is still around, then great, but .......um....maybe it's not working cuz i'm on here asking these questions.... (but I'd feel like such a sell-out to just jump at any guy just cuz he's Christian- there really has to be alot there in common for me)

 

[SonicBOOM]

i love ....by the way... how this website counts down the number of seconds you have to wait until you can post again.... and it actually continues to count down through out each time you try to post again

I know! "this fourm requires you to wait 30 seconds between posts, please wait 12 more seconds before posting your post" it's hilarious!

 

[trulyliving]

Don't let these guys harsh ur vibe too much.

I don't know many fathers who...while they rejoice at their newborns...just hours earlier paced the floor with part of them wanting to just BOLT!

This is the side of Man you appeal to when you ask such a question.

So, going in...I have to advocate some of them to say,I've wondered about men who seem too anxious to jump in myself...I don't even think it's a good idea. I kind of respect and appreciate men more who kind of hold back looking at the big picture...kind of with that "Bolt" uncertainty in their eyes. And this is funny because I haven't even dated since I've been separated...but there are friends and some who are interested and such.

But there are good men and they are hard to find...with or without children. And the appeal between people varies so much w/ or w/o children. Just keep that in mind and don't be discouraged.

thanks for your encouragement.... for the couples out there who are having difficulty having a baby and are understandably crushed, i just think sometimes they can also step back and remember how much a miracle it is already that they found eachother... in my opinion, with everything that can go wrong with meeting someone who is to be your life partner (timing, geography, age, interests, personality type, being single at the same time, being patient enough to not sell out, etc.) it is such a huge miracle to me that people find each other and choose to marry each other, in itself.

 

[trulyliving]

I know! "this fourm requires you to wait 30 seconds between posts, please wait 12 more seconds before posting your post" it's hilarious!

it's like Casey Kasem (who never ages by the way - that's weird)

or like that scene in one of the Jurassic Park movies where you see that guy who hacked into everyone's computer and ran off with some dinosaur egg to try to go sell it, hidden in some Barbasol can (men's shaving cream in a pressurized can), and whenever people tried to secure the area by getting on to his computer/ all the computers, you get his face saying , "uh-uh-uuuuhhh....uh-uh-uuuuuhhh" ... ok no one knows what the heck i'm talking about.

 

[jream]

The only way that I could think it would affect is the following.

1. You are not a virgin, a few guys are attached to marrying a virgin. This is very unlikely to be a problem in your mid 30's.

2. They don't want to be step dad.

3. They want children of their own and you do not want to or are not able to do that.

I doubt you are going to face anything different from the above.

Do you regularly meet unmarried Christian men your age? Because I'm 25 and I have a bit of trouble meeting unmarried Christian women that are my age.

I agree with everything he said.
If I was older, about 35, then this wouldnt matter to me I dont THINK.

 

[trulyliving]

I agree with everything he said.
If I was older, about 35, then this wouldnt matter to me I dont THINK.

i honestly don't know if you're being sarcastic

 

[ido]

I think that a fallacy that a lot of men assume about single moms is that we don't want anymore kids. Personally, I'm blessed with the two I have and would be content with that. But, if I married someone who didn't have children and really wanted to have a child together, I would definitely consider it. If he was OK with not having any children together, I would be cool with that, too.

I think it's more readily believed/accepted that single dads will have more children if they re-marry. But, I think there are just as many families out there that have "his" and/or "hers" and "ours" kids.

 

[Crispie]

No, for many reasons. Possible conflicts with what the New Testament speaks of on remarriage, in addition to having to deal with kids. Too many things that turn me off to ever allow me to consider it.

 

[trulyliving]

No, for many reasons. Possible conflicts with what the New Testament speaks of on remarriage, in addition to having to deal with kids. Too many things that turn me off to ever allow me to consider it.

huwow... it's like you never sinned yourself....also, not all women who are single mothers were married, so the issue of remarriage isn't a one size fits all.... also, Jesus' dying on the cross is so significant, His loves covers a multitude of sins.... do you personally have a hard time believing that single mothers' sins are not included in this multitude?... i'd actually be more turned on by a guy who's gone through the desert valleys and found God through it all with tremendous sincere life changes than a guy who's never given into temptation, never done anything wrong and may not know he's never grown as much as say an ex-gang member who's found Jesus.... but thanks for your comments, I suspected some Christian guys think the same thoughts you've expressed in here

 

[jream]

i honestly don't know if you're being sarcastic

no i not being sarcastic why u say so

 

[Crispie]

Don't get me wrong, remarriage can be justified, but in some cases they aren't, and even with forgiveness from Jesus, the act of remarriage to someone who has willingly divorced under reasons not allowed by God is still considered an act of adultery and is not something I will take part in. That being said, I would likely not be able to handle the complexity and responsibility of taking on children who are older, nor would I want to.

 

[Brotherfromanothermother]

That being said, I would likely not be able to handle the complexity and responsibility of taking on children who are older, nor would I want to.

Nothing wrong with that. Good insight.

 

[GQ Chris]

since the end of my last long term relationship, I have dated a couple of single moms.. usually there isn't any issues.

 

[trulyliving]

Nothing wrong with that. Good insight.

hi brofrnuthamo..... so you feel the same way yourself, given that you have kids too? like you'd prefer to date/marry someone who doesnt' have kids themselves?... interesting....

 

[trulyliving]

no i not being sarcastic why u say so

just your first post sounded so "not gonna get near that with a 10 ft pole" (LOL)

 

[trulyliving]

Don't get me wrong, remarriage can be justified, but in some cases they aren't, and even with forgiveness from Jesus, the act of remarriage to someone who has willingly divorced under reasons not allowed by God is still considered an act of adultery and is not something I will take part in. That being said, I would likely not be able to handle the complexity and responsibility of taking on children who are older, nor would I want to.

fair nuff...to each their own, eh

 

[Crispie]

hi brofrnuthamo..... so you feel the same way yourself, given that you have kids too? like you'd prefer to date/marry someone who doesnt' have kids themselves?... interesting....

I would assume that he was only stating that if you admit that you can't handle children, that not going into a relationship that requires responsibility to children is a good choice.

 

[GQ Chris]

eh. mabe after the Holidays. I've got alot going on. Unless wth first or second weekend in December works.

Srsly, it's better to just plan it and let people know when and where as opposed to trying to make something work for everyone. If you're available one of those weekends I say we plan something and go with it regardless of other people's involvement.

EDIT TO STAY ON TOPIC:

I sure hope some hot moms show up...

Oh hey, I brewed some beer, it'll be ready to drink by then (this last sentence is totally directed at hot moms and hot not-moms and Coach and KOF and Rad and Rob and many others)

did somebody say "hot moms" ? **looks around**