Would you (guys) date a single mom?

[Apollo Celestio]

No, sorry, I don't like kids.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

...you picked up some "nicer" eyebrows...your statment wouldn't seem so mean. We need to hook you up with a nice set of "smiling" eyebrows. Ya think?

Nah, people can make up their own mind on how they want to take black text on white background (or pink text if you're Brat and light blue that I can't EVEN READ if you're Keri) (...zzzZZZING!!!).

The people who get offended by taking it serisoulsy when I say I'm going to get my chick's hymen welded back in have really just filtered themselves out.

I'm cool with it, I'm sure they are too. It's not like we're going to spend an hour at a coffee shop together.






...seriously, they wouldn't come to a Chicagoland meetup if I was there.

 

[Luther073082]

Umm hey spicy . . . PG-13 man.

I wouldn't care otherwise but kids can see this stuff.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

It's cool man, they don't know which coffee shop we're meeting at.

 

[CoachR64]

I like hot moms.

Coach

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

I like hot moms.

Coach

I know there's no direct correlation, but whenever I read or hear something like this I start hearing the drum beat from Van Halen's Hot for Teacher.

 

[CoachR64]

Nice call, brutha Spicy.

By the way, Van Halen is touring again with David Lee Roth! I am going to see them in Vegas at the end of December.

Coach

 

[Luther073082]

Oh we are trying for another meet-up?

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

eh. mabe after the Holidays. I've got alot going on. Unless wth first or second weekend in December works.

Srsly, it's better to just plan it and let people know when and where as opposed to trying to make something work for everyone. If you're available one of those weekends I say we plan something and go with it regardless of other people's involvement.

EDIT TO STAY ON TOPIC:

I sure hope some hot moms show up...

Oh hey, I brewed some beer, it'll be ready to drink by then (this last sentence is totally directed at hot moms and hot not-moms and Coach and KOF and Rad and Rob and many others)

 

[SonicBOOM]

1. Would you ever date a single mom if there was all the other things in there that would attract you to her as a person?

being someone who loves children, I defently would. Though i'm only 21 years old, so i would only really consider it if I was a bit older. Maybe 23 or something. Other than that I love kids and children show a sign of real matureity in the woman.

I always thought it's no big deal, but after giving my life to Christ and having more boundaries in regards to dating, I'm now not dating period. Non-believers are so open and friendly, but Christian guys..... I don't know, maybe it's 'cuz like magnets repel or something. So I wonder now if it's because I'm a single mommy.

I'm sooo sorry I have my own frusteration about how the church deals with dating and marrege. so your not alone. A large part of the reason why I'm still single is because I wanna date a christain girl... but there are sooo many unspoken rules about how to go about it. First off finding a girl just to find a girl will get you thrown out of church [or shunned, pretty much the same thing]. Second, if you like a girl you can't ever EVEr let her know..... ever. Why? because it has to "develop from a freindship". Arah... i'm to frusterated to go on.

 

[CoachR64]

I used to be very much against dating a single mom. I would have never considered it. Then, I grew up.

I look at it this way: I am not going to question who God has for me. My mother got out of a nasty marriage when I was a newborn. She got married again when I was 4. He later adopted me. While not my biological father, he is most assuredly my dad. Had he not fallen for a single mother, he would have never been able to bless my life the way he did.

I am not going to miss out on a blessing from God based on someone's past. If God has a special person for me, and she happens to be a single mother, so be it.

I think to refuse to even consider someone because of their past is wrong. I am not saying to not be careful and cautious, but to flat refuse to consider them could possibly be throwing away a tremendous gift from God.

Coach

 

[deliciousBass]

I used to be very much against dating a single mom. I would have never considered it. Then, I grew up.

I look at it this way: I am not going to question who God has for me. My mother got out of a nasty marriage when I was a newborn. She got married again when I was 4. He later adopted me. While not my biological father, he is most assuredly my dad. Had he not fallen for a single mother, he would have never been able to bless my life the way he did.

I am not going to miss out on a blessing from God based on someone's past. If God has a special person for me, and she happens to be a single mother, so be it.

I think to refuse to even consider someone because of their past is wrong. I am not saying to not be careful and cautious, but to flat refuse to consider them could possibly be throwing away a tremendous gift from God.

Coach

Coach, you should take up counseling or something like that.

Seriously.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

I would totally date Coach if he were a single mom.

 

[trulyliving]

Maybe, maybe not. As with anyone in any situation...it's hard to meet people and when you set out to do so, it can be even more discouraging when you don't make any connections. Sure, it's going to be harder for a single mother but as with anyone...God will bring you to the right person in HIS time...our focus in the meantime is to grow toward the person HE wants US to be...and this will in turn help you in your plight to "find Mr. Right".


​

Thanks for your reply (it doesn't show your whole reply above), but please don't presume that I don't have my focus on my family and God. I'm a Bible study leader at my church and attended seminary and have known for a long time already the tremendous difference the Lord has made in my life. But I just started this "poll" cuz I just don't have many Chrisitan guy friends. It's just a poll trying to see how Christian guys would respond. I'm not rushing God for Mr. Right, by the way, seeking information in lieu of not having alot of Christian guy friends.

 

[trulyliving]

Yeah, the fact that she has a child though is a part of the equation.



Being a mother would make me hesitate quite a bit. I want children of my own and many single mothers don't want anymore children. So if she didn't want anymore kids then no I really couldn't date her. Also I'd be concern about the affect of the child's father in *our* life. A big part of this would also have to do with the child's behavior. If he's a good kid thats fine I would just have to be willing to play step dad. But I have seen some kids that honestly it wouldn't matter if their mom was hotter and richer then Carrie Underwood I wouldn't date her.



As soon as I start thinking that I'm not going to marry someone. I'm not going to date them anymore. There is no point in dating someone you know you won't marry.



What kind of warnings?



Still don't quite understand the question. My parents might not be thrilled about me dating a single mother but they arn't going to freak out about it. And I'm not going to let it affect me.



I don't think thats necessarily it. A lot of this depends on how old you are. If you are 18 then yeah its a much bigger deal then if you are 25. . . but if you are 25 its still important. If you are 45 though, its almost sort of expected.

all these are interesting replies... in my situation, the father dropped out completely and he's in another state, i'm more at peace about it that way (and this was way before I gave my life to Christ).... maybe there's a single mother experience that i'm not really experiencing... also, i'm in my mid-thirties, so i'm kinda none of the above you mentioned... i had my kid when i was in my mid-twenties..... just wondering if some Christian guys just wouldn't give the time of day after finding out I've had a kid out of wedlock at some point in my past.

 

[trulyliving]

Single moms deserve a lot of credit and in many cases deserve a good man. But I don't want to have a relationship with one, because I don't want to rush into fatherhood. I'd rather have 9 months to prepare, and have that natural love for a child that comes when a man sires him or her. I can very easily see myself being the stereotypical stepdad, which I do not want to be. Children deserve better than that. There's also the issue of the child not accepting me as a father figure, which I wouldn't want to go through.

yeah, i guess it's either there or it isn't... the "clicking" (for all involved)... that's why "The Holiday" is kinda cool that way - a chic flick with the guy being the single dad

 

[trulyliving]

It only costs $8,000.00 you know...

And why would you know??? (LOL)

 

[Luther073082]

all these are interesting replies... in my situation, the father dropped out completely and he's in another state, i'm more at peace about it that way (and this was way before I gave my life to Christ).... maybe there's a single mother experience that i'm not really experiencing... also, i'm in my mid-thirties, so i'm kinda none of the above you mentioned... i had my kid when i was in my mid-twenties..... just wondering if some Christian guys just wouldn't give the time of day after finding out I've had a kid out of wedlock at some point in my past.

The only way that I could think it would affect is the following.

1. You are not a virgin, a few guys are attached to marrying a virgin. This is very unlikely to be a problem in your mid 30's.

2. They don't want to be step dad.

3. They want children of their own and you do not want to or are not able to do that.

I doubt you are going to face anything different from the above.

Do you regularly meet unmarried Christian men your age? Because I'm 25 and I have a bit of trouble meeting unmarried Christian women that are my age.

 

[trulyliving]

Nice call, brutha Spicy.

By the way, Van Halen is touring again with David Lee Roth! I am going to see them in Vegas at the end of December.

Coach

wohooo! what would our childhood have been without "jump" and "why can't this be love"

 

[trulyliving]

being someone who loves children, I defently would. Though i'm only 21 years old, so i would only really consider it if I was a bit older. Maybe 23 or something. Other than that I love kids and children show a sign of real matureity in the woman.







I'm sooo sorry I have my own frusteration about how the church deals with dating and marrege. so your not alone. A large part of the reason why I'm still single is because I wanna date a christain girl... but there are sooo many unspoken rules about how to go about it. First off finding a girl just to find a girl will get you thrown out of church [or shunned, pretty much the same thing]. Second, if you like a girl you can't ever EVEr let her know..... ever. Why? because it has to "develop from a freindship". Arah... i'm to frusterated to go on.

tell me about it (rolls eyes)... i wonder if you have the same problem i do... most single guys are just too young for me to date (I'm in my mid 30's) and maybe guys think that the hot single Christian spiritually mature women are a little too old for them to date (because the hot Christian spiritually mature women who are younger are married).