Would you date someone

[Beautiful Fireball]

Man, I'm the only one who said no.... It's just that I am uncomfortable around people with disabilities (though it's not really a disability when it comes down to it, I guess.) I wish I could answer yes, but dating someone like that would be really difficult for me. But, to get it straight if I already knew the person and a situation arose where he had to get an artifical limb I wouldn't go AWOL.

Thank you for your honesty though

 

[BeautifulChange]

yes, i totally would. i am completely impartial to physical state.

 

[Luther073082]

I personally don't see why one prostetic leg is such a problem anyways. Its kind of sad that people can be that shallow.

CoG, I'm sure he will find someone that won't care about his "disability". But also think about it this way, you don't want him marrying one of these girls anyways do you? They think "Oh he's hot" until they see the leg and then they are grossed out. What will they do if God forbid something happens to their husband after they are married? Will they divorce him over something like that?

It may take him some time but I'm sure he'll find a girl of some quality. And you could always introduce him to Gamergirl . . . If it doesn't bother you that someone older then you might be dating your little brother.

But one of the things that I have noted about you CoG is that you do care about your brother a lot and I think in the back of your mind this problem is bothering you. I'd say the only thing you can do is pray about it unless you want to try to set him up which I'm not sure if thats a good idea.

 

[CoachR64]

I think a lot of people say yes, because they want to believe they would. When it comes down to it, and the situation is more than hypothetical, I bet a lot of those "yes" answers would be put to the test. I would like to think I could do it, but I have never been in that situation.

I think this is like when people say what they would have done had they been on the 9/11 airplanes. We all love to think we would have taken a stand and took on the terrorists physically, but it is easy to that when we weren't there. When the poo hits the fan, what then? Again, I totally understand that the prosthetic isn't the person. I just think this is one of those situations that when you are thrown into the fire, you are really going to be tested as to what you feel you would or should do.

Coach

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

CoG, I'm sure he will find someone that won't care about his "disability". But also think about it this way, you don't want him marrying one of these girls anyways do you? They think "Oh he's hot" until they see the leg and then they are grossed out. What will they do if God forbid something happens to their husband after they are married? Will they divorce him over something like that?

You're exactly right, I would never want him to marry a person like that. It just makes me sad that he has to miss out on the fun of dating because people aren't able to look past it. When comments like that are made though it is a HUGE blow to him, he tries to brush it off but how could you not let that affect you? He lost it at 11, so he knows what its like to have 2 legs, and he really struggles with seeing the blessing that came from the accident, and there were a ton of them.

But one of the things that I have noted about you CoG is that you do care about your brother a lot and I think in the back of your mind this problem is bothering you. I'd say the only thing you can do is pray about it unless you want to try to set him up which I'm not sure if thats a good idea.

It saddens me immensely. It saddens me when my sister is looked down upon because she is overweight, or that he is looked down upon because of his leg. I know what awesome people they are and it saddens me that some won't even give them a chance because they are not physically perfect. Especially my brother. He's not a starfish, its not likes he just gonna grow another one. And each time stuff like this happens, its horrible for me to have to see him be in pain over something that is never going to change.

I do pray about it...alot. But I would never set him up, lol. That would not end up well.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

in general yes, but your brother, no, I would not date him.

we could be friends though.

 

[ido]

Depends on how attractive I think she is otherwise. And by attractive I am including how much her personality attracts me.

There is a funny but probably inappropriate scene in I'm Gonna Get You Sucka. The main character meets a woman and she ends up having almost no human parts left. It is all fake or articial limbs or a wig, etc.

Classic movie and hilarious scene!

 

[BeautifulChange]

CoachR64

I really like to think that I would say yes, in both situations. I think we must all know who we are before things like that come up. Our character HAS to be built in such a way that we won't waver from what we believe.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

in general yes, but your brother, no, I would not date him.

we could be friends though.

aww, c'mon! He's real cute

 

[ido]

I would not have a problem with it. I've worked with children that had artificial and/or deformed limbs and it never bothered me to hug/hold them, so it would be no different if it was a man that I was attracted to and wanted to date.

Honestly, in some ways, I think that people with prosthetics (or physical disabilities, in general) are more independent than a lot of us with our limbs in tact. They have a survivor attitude and often there is very little that they can't do for themselves. Obviously there are exceptions to that, but it has been my experience that most are more than capable.

I have one friend who has been wheel-chair bound since she was 18 (in her 40s now) and another friend (older gentleman) who lost both legs to the flesh-eating disease. He also lost part of one of his hands and he likes to joke about the fact that the only finger left is his middle finger. LOL

 

[Luther073082]

You're exactly right, I would never want him to marry a person like that. It just makes me sad that he has to miss out on the fun of dating because people aren't able to look past it. When comments like that are made though it is a HUGE blow to him, he tries to brush it off but how could you not let that affect you? He lost it at 11, so he knows what its like to have 2 legs, and he really struggles with seeing the blessing that came from the accident, and there were a ton of them.

Yeah I understand what you mean, that has to be difficult, not only is having problems dating but he might also not be able to play sports like he would like to. Even though I'm certain Keri wouldn't dump me for it, I still would hate losing a leg cause I'd no longer be able to dance. On him it must be way worse. . . Where does he meet these girls anyways? Maybe you should get him on CF, it worked for you and I and our partners.

It saddens me immensely. It saddens me when my sister is looked down upon because she is overweight, or that he is looked down upon because of his leg. I know what awesome people they are and it saddens me that some won't even give them a chance because they are not physically perfect. Especially my brother. He's not a starfish, its not likes he just gonna grow another one. And each time stuff like this happens, its horrible for me to have to see him be in pain over something that is never going to change.

I do pray about it...alot. But I would never set him up, lol. That would not end up well.

Such is the way in this shallow world. I have trouble understanding it too mainly because I can find most women who are somewhere in the region of my age and not horribly disfigured to be attractive. So I really don't understand why so many people are so shallow. I had a friend of mine at the wedding say that she'd never date a guy with less then a batchelor's degree. . . supposidly because it indicates either a lack of intelligence or a lack of drive. . . I guess she never met Micheal Dell.

I guess I used to be more picky but I think I just kind of grew up and starting looking at how a person acted and treated others and me instead of just what they look like on the outside.

You never know, your brother is what 19 or 20 now? Maybe things will get better for him when more of the girl's his age grow up and start looking past that. How old is your sister?

I know there are non-shallow women out there though. There is Keri of course, and a couple months ago I randomly ran into an old friend from college she was always a beautiful woman. . . Absolutly gorgeous, the right height and weight to be a model if she wanted to and a face to match. . . but I met the new guy she is dating and I was almost flabbergasted at how unattractive he was. . . short, overweight and bald. He was shorter then she was by at least 6 inches. But she was dating him and she apparently loved him. But I learned one thing in that one day about her that I didn't know about her in the 3 years we where friends at college. I learned that she was also nothing close to being shallow.

I'll pray for your siblings that they find someone and that the people around them that are their age grow up.

 

[Gam3rG1rl4Chr1st]

You're exactly right, I would never want him to marry a person like that. It just makes me sad that he has to miss out on the fun of dating because people aren't able to look past it. When comments like that are made though it is a HUGE blow to him, he tries to brush it off but how could you not let that affect you? He lost it at 11, so he knows what its like to have 2 legs, and he really struggles with seeing the blessing that came from the accident, and there were a ton of them.
It saddens me immensely. It saddens me when my sister is looked down upon because she is overweight, or that he is looked down upon because of his leg. I know what awesome people they are and it saddens me that some won't even give them a chance because they are not physically perfect. Especially my brother. He's not a starfish, its not likes he just gonna grow another one. And each time stuff like this happens, its horrible for me to have to see him be in pain over something that is never going to change.

I do pray about it...alot. But I would never set him up, lol. That would not end up well.

Clearly you love your siblings very much, so it's awesome they have you as a sister! It is very sad to watch the people we love hurting, especially over things that people have said to them or done to them. All we can do is support them and let them know that we love them. I'll be praying that God will bring some really special people into both of your siblings' lives who will treat them with the respect they deserve!

 

[Sindyan]

Truly...all I care

1) She is chasing after the heart of Christ
2) You see that she has a general love and compassion for everyone
3) She is beautiful in my eyes

Beside that...
don't care about any disabilities (minus going into people with Mental Retardation)

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Yeah I understand what you mean, that has to be difficult, not only is having problems dating but he might also not be able to play sports like he would like to. Even though I'm certain Keri wouldn't dump me for it, I still would hate losing a leg cause I'd no longer be able to dance. On him it must be way worse. . . Where does he meet these girls anyways? Maybe you should get him on CF, it worked for you and I and our partners.

These are mainly girls that were friends, girls he has met through friends, and girls he meets and work and stuff.

I can't tell him about CF though.This place is mine, lol. No one I know in real life, except Brandon of course, know that I am a part of this forum, and I want to keep it that way.

You never know, your brother is what 19 or 20 now? Maybe things will get better for him when more of the girl's his age grow up and start looking past that. How old is your sister?

Yeah, he is only 19 and my sis is 16. So they both have time, alot of time, lol. I'm just a protective big sister and I have a real issue of anybody thinking badly of them.

I'll pray for your siblings that they find someone and that the people around them that are their age grow up.

Thanks

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Clearly you love your siblings very much, so it's awesome they have you as a sister! It is very sad to watch the people we love hurting, especially over things that people have said to them or done to them. All we can do is support them and let them know that we love them. I'll be praying that God will bring some really special people into both of your siblings' lives who will treat them with the respect they deserve!

Thank you

 

[CoachR64]

flnative,

As long as that guy has a middle finger, he can communicate with people in New York City!

Coach

 

[ido]

flnative,

As long as that guy has a middle finger, he can communicate with people in New York City!

Coach

Exactly! He said ppl do double-takes all the time when he waves at them (ie for letting him into traffic) driving around town. It surely looks like he's giving the one-finger salute!

 

[Luther073082]

These are mainly girls that were friends, girls he has met through friends, and girls he meets and work and stuff.

I can't tell him about CF though.This place is mine, lol. No one I know in real life, except Brandon of course, know that I am a part of this forum, and I want to keep it that way.

haha ok. . .

Yeah, he is only 19 and my sis is 16. So they both have time, alot of time, lol. I'm just a protective big sister and I have a real issue of anybody thinking badly of them.

Yeah I know its rough cause you can't protect them from everything. For me with my little brother my struggle is that I can't protect him from himself.

With your sister only being 16, of course thats probably going to happen. If she wants to lose weight you could go workout with her. But the thing I always say that the idea should be to get healthier and not worry too much about losing weight. Losing weight is a by-product of a healthy lifestyle not the other way around.

But given she's 16, the people her age are totally unforgiving. I think most of us have been there to understand that. Just try to keep her confidence up and make sure she knows you still care about her and others do as well.

Again I think its more of an issue that their friends and things need to grow up and get some real confidence. Most of the time I honestly belive people are like this, esepcially with your sister because it builds their own lousy self-esteem. Almost like in order to be worth while and part of the in-crowd they have to be better then someone.

In the long run I think they will both be fine. We just need to have patience and patience is not something that comes naturally to any of us.




Thanks [/quote]

 

[plum]

I've dated a man with a disability before, but it involved both mental and physical aspects so it's not just a physical difference like your brother. I guess after having been there before, I can say that a prosthetic limb would not be the sole deciding factor about dating a guy or not.

I might feel a bit uncomfortable at first because I wouldn't know how to ask about it or what it takes to live with one. My ignorance would make me a bit shy about it in the beginning, but once I learn more and know how open he was about his limb, I think I'd be fine with it and even fascinated.

Dating a guy doesn't have to do with his limbs, though. So if I decided, for instance, to not date your brother, it'd be for other reasons besides the limb. And I wouldn't want him assuming that's what my reason was, either.

 

[LOVEthroughINTELLECT]

It would not make any difference to me.

I voted "Yes".