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Would you date/marry someone with drug problems?
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Inkachu
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FTR the thread title doesn't say "former drug user" it says someone "with drug problems" which indicates current addiction. I'd have no problem with a former drug user who was clean and sober.
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kevlite2020
rawr means I love you in dinosaur!
Not everyone has the ability to look past certain things though. We all have a limit to what kind of burdens we can place on ourselves. Doesn't make us any less Christian, just makes us individuals.
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anewday
This girl is on fire.
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I chose the "it depends". I dated someone with this kind of past who had been clean for awhile (I can't remember how long, but the important part was that it was in their past). I'm not sure if I would date someone if this was a current issue. I would want them to get clean first then we would go from there. Everyone has issues at some point. I've never really thought about this, even when I was dating this person since it was behind him. It might help that I've had struggles in the recent past, not drug related, but still very serious struggles that I think many can relate to. If I've given myself a chance to put struggles behind me, then I certainly will for another. As for the other part of this question, it is the same. I would only marry someone if their drug problems were behind them.
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A current user: no
A past user: maybe, depending on the resources and path taken to recover and amount of time in recovery/"clean"
It's only a maybe because addiction is just a symptom of underlying issues, and it's not usually the only problem. In other words: no, if I can "see" other issues unattended to, where addiction was just one of them. If that person has been well past getting the help they need to learn to cope in general in all areas needed, then yes. I would consider it...but only then and I would be very observant for a while.
Doesn't make them bad people for having developed the problem. It's just bad decisions and my honest opinion is that all it takes is the right moment in a bad situation and anyone is capable of faltering in this area. I will give support and love any time to anyone struggling with issues like this, and given time might even consider them down the road. The question in the OP insinuates to me a current user, and it's an absolute no on my end. It's not the person, but their situation that I take into consideration.
A past user: maybe, depending on the resources and path taken to recover and amount of time in recovery/"clean"
It's only a maybe because addiction is just a symptom of underlying issues, and it's not usually the only problem. In other words: no, if I can "see" other issues unattended to, where addiction was just one of them. If that person has been well past getting the help they need to learn to cope in general in all areas needed, then yes. I would consider it...but only then and I would be very observant for a while.
Doesn't make them bad people for having developed the problem. It's just bad decisions and my honest opinion is that all it takes is the right moment in a bad situation and anyone is capable of faltering in this area. I will give support and love any time to anyone struggling with issues like this, and given time might even consider them down the road. The question in the OP insinuates to me a current user, and it's an absolute no on my end. It's not the person, but their situation that I take into consideration.
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CrystalBrooke
I'm almost positive I don't care what you think
To me, this is not understanding at all what an addict can do to a family. Do you have any idea how many times my dad was "clean" and then started back up again? He's been in and out of jail, he's been to prison once..I've not seen him in so many years. I know God can change people, but I'm not taking the risk of picking the one person who can't break the habit. I'm sorry if I'd rather be with someone who I don't have to worry about starting again...
It's a moot point anyways..I'm engaged and he's not, nor has he ever been, a drug abuser.
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The Penitent Man
the penitent man shall pass
No way!
People with severely addictive personalities are not good to be around. If shows like Celebrity Rehab and Intervention have taught me anything, it's that.
People with severely addictive personalities are not good to be around. If shows like Celebrity Rehab and Intervention have taught me anything, it's that.
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Inkachu
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Bear in mind that this thread is saying would you DATE/MARRY someone with a drug problem, NOT would you love/befriend/care for/help/pray for someone with a drug problem. I am not seeing hate on people who struggle with addiction in this thread, but choosing a spouse, life partner, and future parent of your children, is a massively crucial decision.
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traingosorry
I'm what Willis was talkin' bout.
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overit
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I hope some realize that even if you don't marry an addict-there's a chance this person becomes an addict during marriage right? Many pick up heavy drinking once married if the marriage is stressed and it goes from there.
The only thing that strikes me funny sometimes on these "dealbreaker" threads-is people have all these dealbreakers and "well it doesn't mean we won't befriend them but we all chose what we can live with or not". Like I won't date a divorcee, a single parent, a recovered addict, a smoker, a fat person, a (insert whatever you want here) ....and....they're still single 5 yrs later..10yrs later...ha! Just sayin....
The only thing that strikes me funny sometimes on these "dealbreaker" threads-is people have all these dealbreakers and "well it doesn't mean we won't befriend them but we all chose what we can live with or not". Like I won't date a divorcee, a single parent, a recovered addict, a smoker, a fat person, a (insert whatever you want here) ....and....they're still single 5 yrs later..10yrs later...ha!
Just sayin....
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overit
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Or they're getting married in 367 days...just sayin'
NOt sure I have the right person-but you're the single mommy...marrying Charlie right?
If so-well let me jsut say this-I've seen you through the years compromise on a LOT of stuff before ending where you're at....just sayin' ....the ones most willing to bend, accept others imperfections and humanity and can see people from beyond superficial stereotypes-typically are happier in relationships.
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CrystalBrooke
I'm almost positive I don't care what you think
You are correct (well I'm not really a single mom, Ben is still very much part of Emily's life)
My dealbreakers still stand though (not that I have many). A dealbreaker for me is something that I take very seriously..now there are things I'd prefer not be a characteristic of a person, but not a dealbreaker. Of course I compromised..I've also changed a ton, I'm only 22, who knows, maybe later in life I'll realize that I might have been capable of loving and living with someone who was a past abuser, I doubt it just because of what I've been through first hand. I just don't think people who have a dealbreaker or two are going to be single for 10 more years..I think if they have a ton of dealbreakers..like everything you listed is a dealbreaker for them, then they're just building walls and probably won't meet anyone.
anyways, I'm rambling because I'm tired...I hope you didn't think I took offense, I didn't feel like you were singling me out or anything, I just responded.
My dealbreakers still stand though (not that I have many). A dealbreaker for me is something that I take very seriously..now there are things I'd prefer not be a characteristic of a person, but not a dealbreaker. Of course I compromised..I've also changed a ton, I'm only 22, who knows, maybe later in life I'll realize that I might have been capable of loving and living with someone who was a past abuser, I doubt it just because of what I've been through first hand. I just don't think people who have a dealbreaker or two are going to be single for 10 more years..I think if they have a ton of dealbreakers..like everything you listed is a dealbreaker for them, then they're just building walls and probably won't meet anyone.
anyways, I'm rambling because I'm tired...I hope you didn't think I took offense, I didn't feel like you were singling me out or anything, I just responded.
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