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If I want to marry someone I have never met face to face, I'm doing it wrong.Would you be willing to have a long distance relationship with someone you want to marry? Why or why not? And would you be willing to relocate to be with them?
Hello!Would you be willing to have a long distance relationship with someone you want to marry? Why or why not? And would you be willing to relocate to be with them?
If I want to marry someone I have never met face to face, I'm doing it wrong.
If we're already an established couple and she needs to move before I can join her, maybe. Our directions would both need to converge on the same new place.
I'm not going to uproot myself just for a person I met online.
I use Discord and Google Meets all the time. Every one of those is a controlled interaction. It's a phone call with a webcam. The presence of a webcam is not going to fix all the challenges with LDRs. There have been enough relationships in the era of video chat to demonstrate this, some have been posted about on CF.You act as if Discord and Skype don't exist, my dude. You can see people face to face even at long distance. I personally think it should only be a starting ground; talking in person is a million times better. But meeting online is sometimes the only option in this isolative society, especially when you get the short end of the stick in locations. Not a single single girl around here appeals to me either physically or mentally, and even the spiritually part is pretty flippin' weak, despite being surrounded by churchgoers. I admittedly hate internet dating, but I hate the idea of dying alone even more.
I use Discord and Google Meets all the time. Every one of those is a controlled interaction. It's a phone call with a webcam. The presence of a webcam is not going to fix all the challenges with LDRs. There have been enough relationships in the era of video chat to demonstrate this, some have been posted about on CF.
I won't say that LDRs never work, sometimes they do. I won't say that moving to be with someone and get married never works, I'm acquainted with people who did that, got married, and stayed married. But there is no formula I can follow which will guarantee success, or an equal success rate to in-person relationships. For myself, I know I need all the help I can get if I am going to have a successful relationship, and a relationship that starts online and has me moving later is a situation that does not provide that.
I understand that can be a painful situation, particularly in certain counties of Ohio where most people are related (I know that's a thing). But I would advise moving for a job before I would advise moving for a woman.I fully agree that it's best to meet in person, and would be great if that person was close by. But some of us are on social islands. I mean, I'm stuck in... ugh... Ohio.
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You're on! Beer and pizza sound delightful.Honestly? The thought of it gives me an explosive headache. Assuming a steady relationship is the goal.
I'd meet up with any one of you though for drinks/etc if I'm near by (or if you just happen to be in London). If Shineyourlight (we'll use her as an example) is still single when I'm in New York next, then I'm sure beer and $1 pizza slices will happen.
But as far as daily communications that read like the Chronicles of Narnia, and intrusive Zoom calls with some girl who lives in a corn field 7000 miles away? Nah. Jog on bruv.
You're on! Beer and pizza sound delightful.
Sounds fantastic!It'll be this year.
Possibly in the summer?
Sounds fantastic!
Seven years ago, my answer would have been absolutely yes, of course. Five years ago after being burned, absolutely not, no interest in ever trying the online thing again.
Now, having had time to reflect, and having more life experiences: it would suck to not be able to "go on a date", see a movie, grab a coffee, go to a bookstore, hit the state fair, ride a ferris wheel, have them over, and cook dinner, go on road trips, hit the beach, go to a museum, go to concerts, lost twenty bucks at Black Jack in the new casino that just opened up, etc. That's an obvious downside, but for the right girl, it could be worth having to work around that, and only "going on dates" when traveling to visit. It would be hard, but it's doable.
However, knowing the mistakes I made last time, I understand now that there would have to be conditions like they have to be willing to travel/relocate also.
Last time, the girl had decided that she was "where God placed her", and she wouldn't leave for anything, so I had to be the one to travel/relocate, which I decided it was worth relocating for, her so I was willing. That was a mistake. They have to be willing to travel/relocate, and so do you. If you aren't both committed and willing to put forth the effort, walk away, sooner than later.
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