Would this concern you?

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

My boyfriend and I both have Amazon wish-lists, and I was updating mine this afternoon and decided to check his out too since he told me yesterday he'd recently added some items.
He has a very long list, which is at least 22 pages long, that he's been working on for years I'm sure. He tells me if it's on the list, he doesn't own it yet.
One item I found that he added around a year ago was an album by the group Polkadot Cadavers, called "Sex Offenders". I was sort-of baffled by the album title, but I know he likes a bit of rock and metal.
I decided to check them out...their lyrics made me VERY uncomfortable. Sure, some say the songs have deeper meanings and are symbolic/contain symbolism. But when a song is called "Sex Offender" and has such graphic, dark lyrics that makes you shudder and feel extremely creeped out (or you feel like you want to run away to your safe place, lol), I have to wonder why on earth such a song was created. "Chloroform Girl" is pretty bad too.

Anyway, basically what I am trying to say is it concerns me very much that he's listened to music like this. I assume so, I admit- maybe he doesn't listen to particular songs of this nature. It just doesn't seem like he'd enjoy listening to crude songs like this. I know all I can do is ask him about it. My question is, though, would something like this concern you about your SO?

 

[Rothen]

Not really. Listening to a song with unpleasant lyrics is just like watching a horror movie or reading a Stephen King novel. It's escapism and usually has no deeper significance.

 

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

Not really. Listening to a song with unpleasant lyrics is just like watching a horror movie or reading a Stephen King novel. It's escapism and usually has no deeper significance.

Hm, you have a point!

 

[LinkH]

It might concern me somewhat. I'd be looking for other signs if I were you. Does he watch porn along a similar theme (or at all.) It might not be good to marry a guy who fantasizes about chloroforming girls. If he has a song called that on a CD, that doesn't mean he is into it. Is he getting rid of it because he doesn't want to listen to junk like that? I think that's the sort of thing that needs to be destroyed, not sold.

 

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

It might concern me somewhat. I'd be looking for other signs if I were you. Does he watch porn along a similar theme (or at all.) It might not be good to marry a guy who fantasizes about chloroforming girls. If he has a song called that on a CD, that doesn't mean he is into it. Is he getting rid of it because he doesn't want to listen to junk like that? I think that's the sort of thing that needs to be destroyed, not sold.

From what I can guess by the lyrics I looked up, the song is really about a young woman being locked up in a basement. It's weird, extremely dark-sounding. My boyfriend has no fantasies such as this. He has seen porn, but he doesn't think much of it, at least not anymore (which is a good thing). He has healthy desires and fantasies, no worries about anything like that. The CD is on his Amazon Wish-List, which is obviously something he thought worthy of owning a little over a year ago (it shows the date he added it).

 

[iambren]

Don't let his prurient interest get to your prurient interest. If that's all you found or the best you can do over his long list just let it go.

 

[Puptart]

My question is, though, would something like this concern you about your SO?[/FONT]

Not at all, my husband and I listen to a lot of punk, rock and metal (especially me with the metal thing, my husband isn't into metal as much as I am) and we have tons of music that contain pretty "crazy" lyrics of many varieties. Just part of the music genres we enjoy, nothing more. I'm glad we like the same music because commuting to work 45 minutes in each direction would be a nightmare if I had to sit through some awful pop or country music or something

Edit: I just looked up the song you're talking about.. the lyrics are a bit much even for my standards -- not to say they offend me but just to say I wouldn't put it in my iPod rotation. But, to me it's "just music" and doesn't bug me.

I can tell you one thing: If my husband and I had starkly different music tastes, I'm not sure the relationship would have worked out. I know that's weird to say but like I said above re: pop, country.. I don't think I could have married someone that insisted on playing that stuff, lol. Music can be a deeply personal affair, I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't share my tastes in music.

 

[NiobiumTragedy]

I wouldn't worry about it. It's likely he heard a song from them that caught his ear so he added the album to his list. Plus, as others have mentioned, it's no different than watching a terrible horror movie.

Plus, I highly doubt that the music is insinuating that he wants to use chloroform on women. lol

 

[JRSut1000]

Me personally, it would bother me because I know my husband doesnt want to listen to that which promotes ungodly actions and desires.

 

[K9_Trainer]

Wouldn't bother me, it's just music. I've seen some pretty grotesque, violent movies and read some books that had explicitly described, disturbing sexual parts. It's not any different. It doesn't mean that I as a person am violent or have concerning sexual issues.

Plus like Nobium said, he may have heard one song on there and put the album on the list without really knowing what the rest of the album has on it.

If it's really bothering you, just ask him about it.

 

[JRSut1000]

I guess I dont really understand how the majority of believers say 'it's just music'. Is anything really 'just' music or just tv or just this or that? It either glorifies God and His attributes and goodness, or it doesnt. This type of music does the opposite of glorifying Him. The lyrics are disgraceful, should a believer be interested in this type of music? NO!

 

[NiobiumTragedy]

I guess I dont really understand how the majority of believers say 'it's just music'. Is anything really 'just' music or just tv or just this or that? It either glorifies God and His attributes and goodness, or it doesnt. This type of music does the opposite of glorifying Him. The lyrics are disgraceful, should a believer be interested in this type of music? NO!

And the rest of us don't understand how extremist religious folks can't seem to be part of the world without having them being negatively effected by everything they come in contact with. It speaks mountains about how weak your faith is if you are so easily swayed by things that aren't in your mind considered to be Godly.

As someone who has been working in the entertainment industry for a long time, I can certainly call you out and say that I am a believer and I have no problem being a part of pop culture and not having to worry about my soul nor my faith because my faith is greater than the shows I watch or the music I listen to and that you have no say or right to question about myself or anyone elses faith.

 

[JRSut1000]

If you happen to hear it in the store, that's one thing. But to call ungodly lyrics in a song entertainment, is this really what we should be calling our entertainment? Honestly, as a believer I cant say yes to that.

 

[JRSut1000]

Grace doesnt mean everything is okay. "Not everything is beneficial", what you put into your spirit is what will eventually come out. If someone connects to music like this, then I'd be worried thats what will be in his mind and what will come out.

 

[K9_Trainer]

Grace doesnt mean everything is okay. "Not everything is beneficial", what you put into your spirit is what will eventually come out. If someone connects to music like this, then I'd be worried thats what will be in his mind and what will come out.

That's probably more an issue with children, who are very easily influenced by the environment they grow up in. They will emulate what they see adults do on TV. They need to be protected from certain things until they are old enough to handle it and understand the difference between fiction and reality, between good behavior and bad, until they understand that actions come with consequences.

As adults, we are in control of our actions and we understand consequences, our code of moral behavior is established. Watching violent movies does not make us violent. Listening to a song that is about sex does not make us sleep with everybody and their mother. I've seen probably thousands of people get killed on TV, actors merely fabricating the behavior. I've yet to even threaten somebody.

 

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

Thanks for your help everyone. I do not think I have anything to worry about, but I've decided that if it continues to bother me, I will ask him about it.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

I listen to all sorts of secular music, but I think I would be concerned about what you described.

 

[twins15]

If you haven't noticed any other strange behavior or strange interests other than this, I wouldn't let it bother me. I listen to different types of music that could be seen as depressing, but it is just music I happen to like. If that is the only thing he listens to, maybe it would concern me... but it doesn't sound like that is the case at all.

 

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

If you haven't noticed any other strange behavior or strange interests other than this, I wouldn't let it bother me. I listen to different types of music that could be seen as depressing, but it is just music I happen to like. If that is the only thing he listens to, maybe it would concern me... but it doesn't sound like that is the case at all.

Nah, I haven't noticed anything else strange. Thanks for your reply!

 

[Stealth001]

I don't think it's a big deal. People like different kinds of music for different reasons. Also, sometimes a person might like a specific song that isn't so bad, but it is recorded on an album with some not so desirable songs.

Also...as your relationship progresses you might find opportunities to look into more private things. In those situations you might want respect his privacy (not saying that you didn't with regards to this). This is because men go through phases and periods wherein their interests can get carnal, you might find something that offends you deeply that is "old news" or perhaps isn't something that he wanted to reveal to you because he's dealing with the issue. Should curiosity get the best of you... remember to approach the issue with love and grace, reminding yourself that you're looking into what could be the more private dimentions of a human being. You'll see his flaws and weaknesses quite well. Just be loving, grace filled, understanding, and compassionate. As with this issue... sometimes our response can be far more detrimental to a cherished relationship than our discoveries.

For example, I had opened my Facebook and my lady-love got on to look at my account. I had "liked" a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, a few sites for football cheerleaders, and a couple alcoholic beverages when I was going through a carnal period in my walk months prior. I had hidden those from the general public because they were private and hadn't removed them. She totally flipped. While I removed them to help her feel better, her reaction caused one of the biggest confrontations we'd ever had and we almost broke up over it. What intrigued me later was that when I was able to look at her account she had hidden friends from her past that she never talks to anymore and a few things of a personal nature of her own. I felt violated, misunderstood, and judged.

So remember to approach this sort of thing with grace and understanding.

I don't know why... I just felt the need to post this.