Would like to hear your views

[Maxsteel]

you have the behavior of someone who has been abused, either emotionally or physically.

You apologizing all the time is a sign of mild ptsd from long term abuse.

Why do you feel the need to lie about what you have or have not eaten from the house?

deal with the abuse... then you will stop feeling a need to apologize.

true. I posted a thread which contained something that happened to me in the past. I posted it in 2013 here. Well, i hope i live normally as i should. One thing i wish I could have in my life is communicating with a female at least that I like and who likes me as much. Thank you for your reply.

 

[com7fy8]

And the question of say was if i had eaten based on the general food which i had not. what i ate was something i bought. Thanks again for your reply. I appreciate.

I can think of a few possibilities. But what really is going on could be something else, and much more interesting.

(1) Maybe you know their food is not healthy for you; so you go buy what is right for you; but you don't want to tell them this, because you don't want to offend or embarrass them about how they are eating food which is not heart healthy and which could cause you to gain weight like you see happening with them.

And maybe they know you are doing this, but they are not worried about this. So, when you keep trying to cover this up, and then apologize > it isn't the apologizing that bothers them, but they don't like how you do what is your own business and then you lie about it so you think you need to apologize.

(2) Or > another possibility > maybe you have a "lust of the flesh" thing for food. And lust keeps you from being satisfied with food which would be heart healthy and weight healthy. And they are offering to you the right food because they care about you. But that lust is not honest. You need to not trust that lust and what it has you thinking! And you know you gave in to it; so you don't want to admit it. But they know, anyway. So, what bothers them, really, is not the apologizing, but how you keep doing what is not good for yourself so then you lie and apologize. They care about what is starting the whole thing, not so much about the apologizing with comes later. Because they care about you.

(3) But there is another possibility I can think of. Maybe both you and they do not eat the right food, but you don't like theirs. So, you buy your own and eat it; and then you know if you also eat what they have for you, now you really are going to gain weight by eating their fattening stuff along with what you bought. And you don't want to admit this; so you lie. But they are on to you, and so it is not the apologizing they are concerned about, or how much you do that, but they just don't care to have you trying to cover up what you are doing, since it is your own business what you eat.

But you are a unique person; so surely there could be something else which I would never be able to think

But I'll bet if they care about you, this is why, really, they are not interested in hearing you apologize again and again. They want you to do what is good for you, so you don't have anything to apologize about, later.

 

[com7fy8]

For a while I was living outside. I could walk interstate and find thrown-out food that was a better diet than what I used to buy when I had a job and I was stingy about how much I spent for food. Often stores would put out vegetables and fruit what were still fine to eat. And there was yogurt. And on we could go. Not to mention, behind a gourmet store I might find smoked salmon slices worth over ten dollars each . . . not what I might buy in the store. So, yes I could eat better . . . when eating . . . out! lolololololololol lolol

One time, I was hosted by a family, but they did not serve citrus. And I had already found a kosher store which put out turkey and fish slithers which I enjoyed. So, I would sneak off to find put-out fruit, for citrus, and I would enjoy going back to my kosher spot. But did I want to tell them I was doing this?

So, people are not the same, are we? You might enjoy really getting to know your people. And if we can grow in trust with one another, so we are not lying > Jesus wants us to love one another as family. Of course, this means with ones who are trustworthy. We need to be able to test if and how to trust each person . . . evaluating reliably . . . but not only for our own sakes, but so we trust each person the way it is good for that person to be trusted.

There are things that certain people are not ready to handle, even if they may be trustworthy. And we should not put too much on a person. But mainly trust the LORD

 

[Maxsteel]

For a while I was living outside. I could walk interstate and find thrown-out food that was a better diet than what I used to buy when I had a job and I was stingy about how much I spent for food. Often stores would put out vegetables and fruit what were still fine to eat. And there was yogurt. And on we could go. Not to mention, behind a gourmet store I might find smoked salmon slices worth over ten dollars each . . . not what I might buy in the store. So, yes I could eat better . . . when eating . . . out! lolololololololol lolol

One time, I was hosted by a family, but they did not serve citrus. And I had already found a kosher store which put out turkey and fish slithers which I enjoyed. So, I would sneak off to find put-out fruit, for citrus, and I would enjoy going back to my kosher spot. But did I want to tell them I was doing this?

So, people are not the same, are we? You might enjoy really getting to know your people. And if we can grow in trust with one another, so we are not lying > Jesus wants us to love one another as family. Of course, this means with ones who are trustworthy. We need to be able to test if and how to trust each person . . . evaluating reliably . . . but not only for our own sakes, but so we trust each person the way it is good for that person to be trusted.

There are things that certain people are not ready to handle, even if they may be trustworthy. And we should not put too much on a person. But mainly trust the LORD

I'd say I'm still learning and I'm still healing. For now i cannot think of getting know or try at all to ever get closer as they mostly boys. which is a trigger for me if i get irritated. I dont yet have like a balance in terms of being able to have a girl who i can talk to often of whom i like and who likes me. Since i dont really have a girl for now, I'll hope for GOD'S guidance as try to live.

 

[com7fy8]

GOD'S guidance as try to live.

gentle humble

I think there are girls who love you, but they are quiet and pure. They are not interested in using you for what they want; but they care about loving; so you don't have to worry about if you are pleasing them or not; don't even try to, but enjoy sharing, and leave them free for their other ones they also love. So, you can simply enjoy knowing different ones of them. You don't need to have one for yourself, but appreciate knowing ones who are good examples.

But in case you are mainly around guys who can trigger trouble . . . because they are trouble . . . there are young brothers in Jesus who do not do this.

gentle and humble

 

[Rescued One]

that's a possibility. But would it help her if she was overweight? I feel overweight if I'm right isn't a healthy weight for a person. If its not telling her at that immediate moment, i think i understand, but i feel a light form of encouraging solution would be good for her. just my thought.

It depends on how much criticism she endured growing up, etc.

 

[Maxsteel]

gentle humble

I think there are girls who love you, but they are quiet and pure. They are not interested in using you for what they want; but they care about loving; so you don't have to worry about if you are pleasing them or not; don't even try to, but enjoy sharing, and leave them free for their other ones they also love. So, you can simply enjoy knowing different ones of them. You don't need to have one for yourself, but appreciate knowing ones who are good examples.

But in case you are mainly around guys who can trigger trouble . . . because they are trouble . . . there are young brothers in Jesus who do not do this.

gentle and humble

Thanks for your reply. But, the trigger i talk about is not based on bad company, but is like as a result of my been abused then, i think. as i get irritated if i talk or maybe feel that I've spent too much time(which might be like even 10minutes or less) or more time talking to a male.I was abused by a boy a little older than me when i was younger. Not the type of person i have to be. a lot of stuff i dont feel like talking about. My first thread has more about it if you'd want to check.

 

[com7fy8]

@Maxsteel Thank you for sharing such personal things with us.

Yes, our enemies can be memories. But God prepares His table before us, right in the presence of our enemies . . .

He will never leave nor forsake us.

 

[Maxsteel]

@Maxsteel Thank you for sharing such personal things with us.

Yes, our enemies can be memories. But God prepares His table before us, right in the presence of our enemies . . .

He will never leave nor forsake us.

@Maxsteel Thank you for sharing such personal things with us.

Yes, our enemies can be memories. But God prepares His table before us, right in the presence of our enemies . . .

He will never leave nor forsake us.

True.