Would like to hear your views

[Maxsteel]

We'll, I'm confused about something. I would like to know how you handle situations like these. I have this kind of character of wanting to apologise if i say something that is wrong or if i feel what i said may have offended a person. An example is, i have to apologise to the person and like in a day i could say sorry a lot. And it seems sometimes this action is not good as i was advices to not say it. Ive been trying to reduce how often i feel i have to apologise. And then I recently encountered something. I dont like lieing. so if i do lie, i feel like I have to apologise. Now i lied about eating when asked if I'd eaten. And i feel like apologising. but theres somethingelse about this. I dont know wether to say its an excuse but if it is, i would like to know your view. Before i said i had eaten, i had just eaten something, but the food i was asked about was of the food we all eat in the house, which i hadn't. So I'm confused because i feel i lied based on the general food in our house which i hadn't eaten. but i had eaten something different. Lol. I know this sounds maybe odd, but, this kind of situation bothers me and i dont know wether its at all wrong if i decide not to apologise in this situation or not. It's been a day now since this happened. Sometimes honestly i wish I could avoid certain questions like that so that if i dont feel like answering or don't just want to answer, i dont lie. Has anyone encountered a situation like that? and if you can honestly say how you react when you don't feel like talking or responding to a question asked, i would appreciate. Would like to hear your view about this type of situation. And wether i like it or not it seems even worse situations may come in relation to this type of situation and i would like to know, in every form of situation, if an individual just says something incorrectly, but then sees his wrong, must he or she apologise first? no matter if he happens to say something he or she did not mean to?

 

[Anthony2019]

It sounds to me that you're worrying a bit too much. Yes, honesty is always generally the best policy, but that doesn't mean you always have to be an 'open book' with everyone and you are entitled to a private life without others prying into every detail. If you feel someone is likely to be offended or hurt by what you said, then by all means apologise, otherwise I'd just let the matter go.

 

[Pethesedzao]

H

It sounds to me that you're worrying a bit too much. Yes, honesty is always generally the best policy, but that doesn't mean you always have to be an 'open book' with everyone and you are entitled to a private life without others prying into every detail. If you feel someone is likely to be offended or hurt by what you said, then by all means apologise, otherwise I'd just let the matter go.

Honesty is the ONLY policy

 

[Anthony2019]

H

Honesty is the ONLY policy

Yes I agree with this point, but I think what I was trying to say was that people are also entitled to a private life where they don't have to divulge every detail about their lives to someone else. It's a balance between being honest, and maintaining ones privacy and dignity.

 

[Maxsteel]

It sounds to me that you're worrying a bit too much. Yes, honesty is always generally the best policy, but that doesn't mean you always have to be an 'open book' with everyone and you are entitled to a private life without others prying into every detail. If you feel someone is likely to be offended or hurt by what you said, then by all means apologise, otherwise I'd just let the matter go.

Thank you. I appreciate what you said. it just confused me as this has been the type of person I've been in terms of how i react in such situations. I maybe worrying too much. But I'll say, i'm willing to learn of how best i should react in such situations. Thank you for the advice as well. I appreciate.

 

[(° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °) (ᵔᴥᵔʋ)]

Yes I agree with this point, but I think what I was trying to say was that people are also entitled to a private life where they don't have to divulge every detail about their lives to someone else. It's a balance between being honest, and maintaining ones privacy and dignity.

Agreed. Saying, "Its none of your business." is an honest answer.

 

[Maxsteel]

Agreed. Saying, "Its none of your business." is an honest answer.

I do have a question though. If it was someone elderly involved in my type of situation, who asked you, what would be your response?

 

[Anthony2019]

Thank you. I appreciate what you said. it just confused me as this has been the type of person I've been in terms of how i react in such situations. I maybe worrying too much. But I'll say, i'm willing to learn of how best i should react in such situations. Thank you for the advice as well. I appreciate.

Glad to have been of help One of the frustrating things about today's society is the expectation that we should all have to divulge all of our personal information. I am constantly being interrupted in the street by traders asking me who my energy supplier is, what credit cards I have, and what kind of house I live in. It's very easy to cause offence by telling them where they can go, but its often easier just to give as little information as possible and wish them a nice day.

 

[(° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °) (ᵔᴥᵔʋ)]

I do have a question though. If it was someone elderly involved in my type of situation, who asked you, what would be your response?

In regards to your situation specifically, it depends entirely on the context. If your grandmother is asking if you ate because she wants to make sure you had a chance to have some of her amazing sweet potato casserole, I wouldn't see any reason to lie to her. Unless the casserole is far from amazing and you are trying to spare her feelings and your stomach . In that case you could just tell her that you are not hungry or in the mood for what was being served.

 

[Anthony2019]

I do have a question though. If it was someone elderly involved in my type of situation, who asked you, what would be your response?

It's good to have honest relationships with people at all levels and I agree that elderly members of our society should be treated with respect. But there is nothing wrong with keeping your own counsel and setting appropriate boundaries, particularly when it comes to sharing information about your life with others. The question that needs to be asked is whether they have a genuine need to know that information (ie. whether you have a legal duty to do so), whether you feel the information may be helpful to them in some way, and how comfortable you feel sharing it.

 

[Anthony2019]

I have a friend who is constantly apologising to me because of things he has said or not said which he thinks may have caused me offence. The reality is that I am not bothered about it in the slightest and have completely forgotten the conversation. But he is like the obsessive-compulsive who will continue washing his hands to try and alleviate the fear of something dreadful happening to him. I keep telling him he needs to chill out a bit more.

 

[Maxsteel]

In regards to your situation specifically, it depends entirely on the context. If your grandmother is asking if you ate because she wants to make sure you had a chance to have some of her amazing sweet potato casserole, I wouldn't see any reason to lie to her. Unless the casserole is far from amazing and you are trying to spare her feelings and your stomach . In that case you could just tell her that you are not hungry or in the mood for what was being served.

For my situation, it just wasnt the time i wanted to answer such a question. And it was asked by an elderly person ( just don't want to mention. please do understand). I apologised some few minutes ago. But not even in the exact way i should have. I apologised for lieing. But i said something which i think i should maybe not have mentioned at the start of my explanation. And then the thought of going back to try and apologise in the right way comes to my thought. lol.

 

[(° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °) (ᵔᴥᵔʋ)]

What is the typical reaction that people have when you apologize to them?

 

[Rescued One]

Oh, brother! Join the club. Well, I don't delberately lie. But someone asked me if my sister was an asthmatic and I said, "Yes." I was so embarrassed that that popped out of my mouth! My sister was NOT an asthmatic, but my mother had told that person about sixty years ago that she was. My mother only thought she was an asthmatic.

 

[Maxsteel]

What is the typical reaction that people have when you apologize to them?

due to some reasons please i dont really want to say or refer rather to anyone. But it wasn't good. in terms of what i observed based on their response. And seems from what I've observed from other people who i say it to that it maybe irritating. I can say I'm sorry or apologise like more than maybe 3 times in a day sometimes.

 

[Spiritlight]

Honesty is the ONLY policy

Unless she who cooks you dinner asks if she looks fat in this dress.

 

[Anthony2019]

Unless she who cooks you dinner asks if she looks fat in this dress.

She probably looks damned awful in that dress and you've been wanting to tell her for the past couple of years. However, we have to be nice don't we - so just tell her the dress is lovely and that any vomiting you do is done in secret!

 

[Maxsteel]

Oh, brother! Join the club. Well, I don't delberately lie. But someone asked me if my sister was an asthmatic and I said, "Yes." I was so embarrassed that that popped out of my mouth! My sister was NOT an asthmatic, but my mother had told that person about sixty years ago that she was. My mother only thought she was an asthmatic

due to some reasons please i dont really want to say or refer rather to anyone. But it wasn't good. in terms of what i observed based on their response. And seems from what I've observed from other people who i say it to that it maybe irritating. I can say I'm sorry or apologise like more than maybe 3 times in a day sometimes.

Lol. I think i understand what you mean. But I wouldn't want to join the club though. really. (saying in a joking way). I think it's better not to. in my view.

 

[Maxsteel]

Unless she who cooks you dinner asks if she looks fat in this dress.

Lol. what does that mean really? But funny statement though.

 

[devin553344]

We'll, I'm confused about something. I would like to know how you handle situations like these. I have this kind of character of wanting to apologise if i say something that is wrong or if i feel what i said may have offended a person. An example is, i have to apologise to the person and like in a day i could say sorry a lot. And it seems sometimes this action is not good as i was advices to not say it. Ive been trying to reduce how often i feel i have to apologise. And then I recently encountered something. I dont like lieing. so if i do lie, i feel like I have to apologise. Now i lied about eating when asked if I'd eaten. And i feel like apologising. but theres somethingelse about this. I dont know wether to say its an excuse but if it is, i would like to know your view. Before i said i had eaten, i had just eaten something, but the food i was asked about was of the food we all eat in the house, which i hadn't. So I'm confused because i feel i lied based on the general food in our house which i hadn't eaten. but i had eaten something different. Lol. I know this sounds maybe odd, but, this kind of situation bothers me and i dont know wether its at all wrong if i decide not to apologise in this situation or not. It's been a day now since this happened. Sometimes honestly i wish I could avoid certain questions like that so that if i dont feel like answering or don't just want to answer, i dont lie. Has anyone encountered a situation like that? and if you can honestly say how you react when you don't feel like talking or responding to a question asked, i would appreciate. Would like to hear your view about this type of situation. And wether i like it or not it seems even worse situations may come in relation to this type of situation and i would like to know, in every form of situation, if an individual just says something incorrectly, but then sees his wrong, must he or she apologise first? no matter if he happens to say something he or she did not mean to?

Why are you not telling the truth in the first place. You need to identify that first.