Would the difference lie in our choice?
We are dead in sin.
The proclamation is sent out 'Awake O sleeper. Rise from the dead. Christ will shine on you!' to the whole world, to everyone. Those who enter into the Church, partake of the Sacraments, ect are being saved. Those who sleep in on Sunday morning, never avail themselves of the Sacraments, aren't.
We have freewill to participate in the life of the Church.
Well, let's consider this:
Our Lord says in John 3:
"Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God." Or it can also be translated as:
"Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born from above he cannot see the kingdom of God."
Both translations are good. There is a double meaning in this sentence. We are
born again, in the sense that we first have a natural birth and then a spiritual birth (cf. John 3:6, 2 Corinthians 5:17, 1 Peter 1:23). And we are
born from above, in the sense that God is the one who creates life (cf. Psalms 139:13-14, Genesis 2:7). He creates natural life through the means of parents, and spiritual life through the means of His Word and Sacraments administered by His Church. And both forms of life are created through means and love. But the person created does not wish, ask, work, or choose to receive life. No, life is entirely given as a free gift. We didn't choose or work in order to live, but our lives were given to us as a gift. It's the same with spiritual life in Christ. And that's really the point of the discourse between Nicodemus and Jesus — that life is not earned, but given, out of God's love and grace.
Then let's consider the different but similar language of
being dead in sin:
Psalms 51:
"Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me."
Ephesians 2:
"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind."
Our Lord in Matthew 8:
"Follow me, and leave the dead to bury their own dead."
John 5:
"For as the Father raises the dead and gives them life, so also the Son gives life to whom he will."
1 Timothy 5:
"She who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives."
Ephesians 5:
"Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."
The language of sinners being spiritually dead is common throughout the Scriptures, and I think it's good to meditate on and contemplate the seriousness and severity of it. A dead person cannot work himself to life, neither want or choose himself to life. What he can do is to remain unclean, rot, and perish. When our Lord, in John 11, called out to his dead friend whom he loved:
"Lazarus, come out!", it is a command and a creative word that gives life. The modern idea of a personal decision for Jesus doesn't fit the context. Or consider when our Lord saved His people from Egypt, again, it's not a situation that revolves around a personal choice, but God graciously saving His people, out of His own love and kindness.
So, with this in mind, we do not choose God, but God chooses us. Or to quote Scriptures:
"We love because he first loved us." It is precisely God saving us, giving us life, and adopting us, that enables us to live for Him through Him. So we do have choices to make in the realm of our Sanctification, the growth of holiness, love, and good works. But not in our Justification. And this is the holy mystery that we must uphold: That salvation is entirely from God, but damnation is entirely from man.
This post is already very long, but maybe I can end with a simple illustration. This is not an accurate illustration, and shouldn't be pushed too far, but it can perhaps help our mind appreciate something similar to the holy mystery in simple terms. Suppose a drunk beggar, passed out on the streets, were given a great gift by the king. When the beggar wakes up, and sees his gift, he has freedom in choosing to distrust the king's promise that it truly belongs to him, and so throw away the gift. Or he can trust his king and use the gift already given, to live a new and charitable life. In other words, he didn't ask for the gift, but at the same time, he has the freedom in rejecting it. The gift, however, is objectively real and truly given out of pure grace. Now, again, I don't want you to push this illustration too far, because quite frankly it's lacking. But I hope it's of some use, nontheless.
I'm glad to hear you've been reading the links, and the peace of Christ to you! +