Would a Christian man date an ex-prostitute.

[Luther073082]

You make a valid point. I have had a relationship with an ex-stripper in my past. Not someone who had sex for money, but someone who nonetheless used their body to make money.

I didn't have a problem with the emotional aspect of the relationship, but I will admit that when it came to the physical there were those lingering questions in the back of the mind. Did she sleep around? If so, did she pick up any STD's? It wasn't so much a concern about whether she did sleep around or not as much as it was simply a concern if she had picked up a sexually transmitted disease.

Having said this, it is only fair to say it only takes one time for someone to get an STD. A person could have a hundred parterns and never pick up an STD, though, obviously, it does increase the risk.

Not to mention your ego, being afraid of being less experienced then your partner and being afraid of being compaired to others?

I agree with you the emotional aspect is fine and easy enough to do. The physical aspect after the marriage is a whole different story.

 

[Berniquen]

You know. I would. It would be incredibly difficult I think on our Wedding Night just to know that I wasn't her first. But... ultimately my sexual purity is a gift for God, while I also treasure it as a gift for my spouse.

Just because I'm not getting that gift in the same condition on my wedding night doesn't mean that it's a deal breaker. -- If she was the right woman for me, she's the right woman despite/because of her past, and I'll love her regardless.

Marriage isn't going to be easy anyways, and I suspect I'll grow to feel honored to be the spouse of a person who God has so transformed.

 

[arunma]

I can see that by your picture intracatic

This is also taking into account that I am assuming most Christian men arent virgins anymore.

Oh, there are still quite a few of us out there. Just look in your average midwestern evangelical church (it probably has as much to do with the culture as with our religious beliefs). Most men I know at my church, like myself, have never had sex before marriage.

To answer your question, no I wouldn't have any problem dating a former prostitute. Granted, I might veer away from women who have various "issues" that can be acquired through prostitution, i.e. emotional trauma, sexually transmitted diseases, etc. But this can result from many things other than prostitution. Assuming she had repented of the sin, a woman's former life as a prostitute would play virtually no role in my decision to date or not date her.

And incidentally, I've never bought into the view that most prostitutes are drug addicts or particularly bad people. I don't know any prostitutes (at least I don't think I do), so I really have no basis to form any opinion at all.

Marriage isn't going to be easy anyways, and I suspect I'll grow to feel honored to be the spouse of a person who God has so transformed.

An excellent point. Jesus came to heal the sick, not the healthy. The believing former prostitute exemplifies the mission of Christ and the Apostles who came after him.

 

[A Taffer]

As long as she didn't have any std's, I'd have no problem dating her. Its not for me to judge her, Lord knows I've got my own long list of sins I've done. We're both forgiven, so who cares.

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

LittleLadyinChrist,

I just read your testimony and it gave me goosebumps and brought a tear to my eye---very beautiful story....what a testament of God's grace! Wow.

In regards to the question. I wouldn't have a problem with datiing an ex prostitute or someone with an extensive history of physical relationships.....if I felt they were the right person for me.

As others have stated, it would be essential that the person had completly left their old lifestyle behind and was following wholeheartedly after God. If we can't love and forgive as God does, than what in the world are we living this life for? We should be dying to ourselves and being conformed more intothe likness of Christ, who was a descenant of a prostitute(Rahab) and also close friends with another (Mary. M)

The only thing I would be concerned about would be STD's.

One of my best friends has had a very long history with women before he was saved. But now he is probably the strongest christian I know and is a wonderful example to everyone of God's glory and grace. He explained to me once that he has no doubt in his mind that sex when he is married will far surpass anything that he is experienced. Because he believes that will be something soo much deeper when love and relationship with God are inolved and it's done the right way, so he sees no comparison to the mere physical act of sex, which in itself is quite empty and unfufilling if it's not with someone you love and are married to.

 

[LittleladyinChrist]

Wow Beauty4Ashes, that testimony of your guy friend is very valid I think. Truly, after you have "been around the block" you realize that it is all wasted time, and spiritually dead. I would have to agree wholeheartedly that someday when you find that person you love and get married and you are saving yourself, that will be a great gift.

I am surprized to see and hear so many guys/girls saying they are virgins. I thought this didnt exist anymore. But I am very happy for you guys, that one day you can share that with your spouse, which will be very rewarding Im sure.

If everybody who had sex got an STD, who had had multiple partners, 80% of the population would be screwed. So I wouldnt assume just because someone was a prostitute that they had STD's or were into doing it for drug reasons. Most of the time the ones that are addicted to drugs are the ones you see wandering the street corners in florecent orange spandex.

Another girl in here said that she doesnt believe half of the responses that say yes I would date an ex prostitute. I agree with her, I find it surprising that people in here are saying yes. Im sort of happy that Luther is at least being honest about some realities, doesnt mean he's right though.

 

[jubilationtcornpone]

I am surprized to see and hear so many guys/girls saying they are virgins. I thought this didnt exist anymore.

I believe that it's rare, even within Christian circles -- and yes, even in the conservative midwest. Perhaps it's different a bit different in the Bible belt and country areas, but I would still bet that it's rare.

I'm blessed in that I've managed to stay away from that trap. Sometimes, there are advantages to not being outrageously popular with the opposite sex. (Mind you, I do fully recognize that even a man who's not popular with the ladies can have sex, if he just looks for the right kind of people. It's not so hard for men nowadays, I'm sad to say.)

Another girl in here said that she doesnt believe half of the responses that say yes I would date an ex prostitute. I agree with her, I find it surprising that people in here are saying yes.

I think you're right to be skeptical.

That's why I say that I would definitely consider dating an ex-prostitute. I'm not saying that I would, as this would depend on how compatible I'd be with that person. I would certainly want to find someone who is reasonably intelligent, has strong Christian character and has (perhaps most important of all) spiritual discernment.

Having said that, there's no doubt that being an ex-prostitute is a handicap. It's unfortunate, but some of us do have to struggle with considerable disadvantages. I'm only 5' 6", and I've often wished that I were taller, since many women will only date taller me. And, as I've lamented in a couple of other threads, a good number of women pass me over because of my racial background. Still, I recognize that things could be a lot worse.

Im sort of happy that Luther is at least being honest about some realities, doesnt mean he's right though.

You're right. I commend him for his honesty, even though I think that his attitude is badly messed up.

 

[Luther073082]

Wow Beauty4Ashes, that testimony of your guy friend is very valid I think. Truly, after you have "been around the block" you realize that it is all wasted time, and spiritually dead. I would have to agree wholeheartedly that someday when you find that person you love and get married and you are saving yourself, that will be a great gift.

I am surprized to see and hear so many guys/girls saying they are virgins. I thought this didnt exist anymore. But I am very happy for you guys, that one day you can share that with your spouse, which will be very rewarding Im sure.

If everybody who had sex got an STD, who had had multiple partners, 80% of the population would be screwed. So I wouldnt assume just because someone was a prostitute that they had STD's or were into doing it for drug reasons. Most of the time the ones that are addicted to drugs are the ones you see wandering the street corners in florecent orange spandex.

Another girl in here said that she doesnt believe half of the responses that say yes I would date an ex prostitute. I agree with her, I find it surprising that people in here are saying yes. Im sort of happy that Luther is at least being honest about some realities, doesnt mean he's right though.

Oh I wasn't paying attention but that was you. God bless you hon.

Like I said I wouldn't know how I would react until I hit that situation. However I respect any guy who can because I think thats takes a lot of courage and thats courage that I hope that I have.

But also remember this, Love can forgive a lot of things. I think if a guy really falls in love with you and he really cares about you as a person then your past won't matter to him. It may not be ideal but there are no ideal people.

And like I said before I think these are just realities of life in the church. A guy you've been seeing for a while definatly deserves to know, but I would becareful about who I told. I certainly don't tell everyone about all my sins cause its none of their business and you've been forgiven. Even if they do know then they should theoretically accept you as a forgiven sinner like they are, I just don't know that they would.

With the virgin thing I want you to know something. I'm just as scared as you are for the opposite reasons. I'm afraid that a woman wouldn't want to date or marry a virgin. I'm afraid of stepping into a physical relationship after marriage being less experienced then my partner, and I'm afraid of being compaired to other partners they have had. Because of love I think I can face these fears. But just know that we are just as scared as you are.

 

[SandyLou]

Someone's past is just that - their PAST.
If God can forgive them - how dare we NOT.

I say YES and I can say it with absolute certainty.

Amen, Cathy! Well said!

John 8
Then the scribes and Pharisees brought to Him a woman caught in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, 4 they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. 5 Now Moses, in the law, commanded[c] us that such should be stoned.[d] But what do You say?”6 This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear.
7 So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” 8 And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. 9 Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. 10 When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?”
11 She said, “No one, Lord.”
And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.” 12 Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.”

 

[Weasel7711]

I'm sure someone's mentioned this before but, read the book of Hosea.

 

[SentinelNation]

sorry, double post.

 

[SentinelNation]

Now that's a tough one. I'll be honest with you, and I think many will agree with me, if I were to hear about her past before I actually got to know her then I

 

[SentinelNation]

Now that's a tough one. I'll be honest with you, and I think many will agree with me, if I were to hear about her past before I actually got to know her personally then I would have to answer no, I would not date her. However, if she and I were to get know one another and we liked one another then that could change but her chances would be slim.

Now if I had gotten to know her first and we really liked one another, then she confronted me about her past with openess and honesty, I would most likely go forward with the relationship.

However if she were to try to conceal her past from me and I found out about it later, then I would most likely be upset and end the relationship on the spot. I believe in being completely transparent in your christianity especially when it comes to personal relationships.

 

[LittleladyinChrist]

well at least your being honest... I can understand where you were coming. I dont think I could go out with an ex homosexual, it would freak me out to much. See how shallow I am?

 

[Sketcher]

I'm sure someone's mentioned this before but, read the book of Hosea.

Not exactly a happy marriage. She didn't even repent.

 

[SopranoCapo2006]

I bet if a man would be able to look past that, as Jesus Christ did he would be a strong man in the faith...

Well, what if a man wasn't able to get past that?

Is he weak in the faith?

I don't think so.

Let's be real here, our past while forgiven still has consequences and our past truly makes us who we are today to some extent.

Some men are able look past it, some aren't.

 

[Weasel7711]

Not exactly a happy marriage. She didn't even repent.

I guess the point I was getting at was forgiveness.

 

[Timyone]

id say yes, id marry an exprostite if every thing else fitted
ive met alot of peoiple that have done alot of bad things. look at st paul!!

 

[WendyV]

I don't know any prostitutes or guys that have dated one, so everything I say is only opinion. There are obvioulsy many single Christians who are not virgins, and many of those must have been in love with the person they were sleeping with - as far as I know to a prostitute the sex is 'work' and they are therefore not emotionaly involved with the person - would it not be more difficult to know that the person you are with, possibly the person you love, had been emotionally intimate with other people, possibley deeply loved them, how would you know if they had loved them more than they love you? To me that is a more upsetting question than have they slept with other people, where they better than me? IMHO

 

[LittleladyinChrist]

Oh ok so it would be more of a am I the best she/he's had sort of thing. I guess weve heard that a couple times on here. I would think if a Christian had premaritial sex alot of times, then got saved then after a few years of not having sex at all, and really anticipating marrying the right person, that it wouldnt matter about anyone else because they were all just sinful, but this time its right in God's sight. I mean how much better then that can you get.