Working with your Spouse

[CaseyRacquel]

Hello
Question:

Does anyone out there work in ministry with their spouse? Any secrets, tips or hints would be greatly appreciated.

My husband and i are recenly married and have been under serious attack (especially in our communication and misinterpretation of words). He keeps saying "It is hard to work with your wife especially in ministry."

Any thoughts?

 

[constance]

Say, that's sad. My husband has been an intern for 2 years and will be shortly ordained. He's a seminarian and almost has his M.Div and Ph.D. I'm a musician and am an active "church lady". I am his "sounding board" for his sermons and his problems...

 

[wannaberichr]

I would think that the two of you should be able to work together as one.

 

[becky81101]

I am the worship director at our church and my husband is the head of the audio/visual department. Go figure we'd fill those 2 spots It took us a long time to learn to work together, honestly. We were great together 'off the field', but for some reason working together like that caused a lot of tension. But we've worked through it and now it's great. I couldn't ask for a better person to work with in that context.
Personally, we learned it worked best for us to keep our marriage out of working together for services. It sounds strange, but it really works for us. He learned that when I gave criticism or suggested things for the services, or I didn't like an idea he had - he needed to hear me as the worship director, not his wife. And when I heard what he would say, I needed to understand that it was difficult for him to kind of 'trade roles' for services where I called the shots. It was a really hard transition. But once we figured out what works for us and how to deal with it, we're great. Of course, these suggestions only work in certain ministries. But I will be praying for you. I know it can be hard.
Becky

 

[JulianaTheory]

My husband is a full-time Associate Pastor/Youth Minister. He and I do much ministry together. It has only made us closer. He is my best friend but he and I have others for accountability partners. He has meetings with the Pastor, deacons and has counseling sessions with individuals...that part of the ministry, I stay out of. Those are things that I don't need to know anything about and I like it that way. We are all about confidentiality.

The part I do help with is the planning of youth events, we cook a meal together once a month for the senior adults in our church and he does the sermon. I teach the high school girls Sunday School class, he teaches the boys Sunday School class. We take students to 2 camps each summer and attend various youth conferences. We do an after school program on Wed. afternoon called OverTime, I help him cook for that and we help students with homework. Then we have Youth Blowout that evening. I help get music and games together for that. We take mission trips with our youth as well. We also do visitation together in homes and hospitals or nursing homes. I also help with paperwork when he needs it. I basically assist in whatever he needs.

The neatest part about ministry together, and I see that you help with the youth too...is that you can assist him with the girls. We never counsel the opposite sex alone. When you invest time in students, they really grow to count on you...as much as they do him. I personally haven't known any ministers' wives, (youth minister or other) who assist their husbands in the ministry. I'm very excited that you desire that. It will get easier. It make take a lil' time to figure out what works for y'all and what doesn't. One thing is for sure, when God is in it...it will be an amazing blessing.

Love on your husband and encourage him through everything...be his biggest fan. Ministry is so tough. There may be times that he has to choose the church over a dinner with you. Things happen suddenly, like deaths, surgeries and other unexpected events within your church family. Pray now about how to handle those trying times. Sometimes it's so easy to feel less important. Those are just a couple of the things that took me the longest to deal with.

I hope I helped a lil'. Hugs!
~JT~

 

[AutumnDreamer]

My husband and I pastor our church together, we have not had any difficulties working in ministry together except when I have had anough of people playing games, and he is willing to let them go on, but even this is not something that causes strife, just numerous disscussions and bible searching, and eventually God works it all out.

 

[plmarquette]

I write a weekly jail letter to 10 prisoners in several facilaties ... Maryann proof reads the letter , folds , stuffs , and licks envelopes .........

We go into the sangamon county jail in springfield the second , third , and fifth saturdays of the month ... I preach & she takes care of attendance , bibles and book disbursement ,time , and special requests ...

It is not who does what , but that you do together , with and before the Lord that matters ..

paul