Working with Non-Believers

[ThisIsMe123]

None taken.

Do you feel my attraction to tall men is wrong? Should I pretend I don’t like them?

Why limit yourself to them only, when you could possibly be attracted to someone shorter than 6 feet. Just saying, you could be missing out.

 

[bèlla]

Why limit yourself to them only, when you could possibly be attracted to someone shorter than 6 feet. Just saying, you could be missing out.

What am I missing? If I struggled to find prospects that’s understandable. I don’t have trouble meeting men.

 

[MehGuy]

This is one of the reasons Christian dating is more difficult than secular dating.

Secular women: "He must be handsome, slim, and 6 feet tall" (I fall pretty short of the height requirement).
Christian women: "He must be handsome, slim, and 6 feet tall....and...be Christian"

In the latter, there's a mix of both secular and Christian standards.

Guess he can't be a shorter, Christian?

No offense, Bella, as long as we live on Earth, these superficial criteria will be prominent....even among the Christians.

As long as men are able to be just as shallow. Evolution selected us to find women in their early 20s the most feminine (when they are at their most fertile). Anything else would be nonsensical. Men liking older women were weeded out of the gene pool.. Even if modern men are socially pressured to pretend otherwise.

 

[Sketcher]

"Don't date co-workers"
"Don't date friends"
"Don't date friends sisters"
"Don't date girls from church."
etc. etc.
Is there anyone it's a good idea to date? I get sick of constantly hearing "it's a bad idea to date the girl you know from XXX"

I always hear this kind of stuff & honestly, it's pretty discouraging b/c it seems like that leaves pretty much no one.

I get it. I passed on the advice not to date co-workers for a few reasons.

• If you date and are having a fight, you still have to work together.
• If you date and break up, you still have to work together.
• If you date and break up and she decides to date someone else at the office, you three still have to work together.
• If you ask her out and she doesn't reciprocate, she can hit you with an HR complaint for sexual harassment.
• If she decides to break it off and you persist, she can hit you with an HR complaint for sexual harassment.
• If you decide to break it off and she wants to spite you in any way, she's got the goods on you, and can use that information to fabricate an excuse to hit you with an HR complaint for sexual harassment, or threaten you with that if you don't do what she wants.

And if she hits you with an HR complaint for sexual harassment, you can be quickly fired. If you are fired, you may have to explain that when interviewing for a new job. I don't recommend getting in that spot if you can help it.

 

[DragonFox91]

I get it. I passed on the advice not to date co-workers for a few reasons.

• If you date and are having a fight, you still have to work together.
• If you date and break up, you still have to work together.
• If you date and break up and she decides to date someone else at the office, you three still have to work together.
• If you ask her out and she doesn't reciprocate, she can hit you with an HR complaint for sexual harassment.
• If she decides to break it off and you persist, she can hit you with an HR complaint for sexual harassment.
• If you decide to break it off and she wants to spite you in any way, she's got the goods on you, and can use that information to fabricate an excuse to hit you with an HR complaint for sexual harassment, or threaten you with that if you don't do what she wants.

And if she hits you with an HR complaint for sexual harassment, you can be quickly fired. If you are fired, you may have to explain that when interviewing for a new job. I don't recommend getting in that spot if you can help it.

Definitely risks, but I think some of those risks are possible w/ trying to date any woman

As long as men are able to be just as shallow.

yep, but ThisIsMe, don't take offense to it to what she says. Everyone has their preferences. & preferences don't mean what you'll end up w/

 

[bèlla]

As long as men are able to be just as shallow.

Is it only shallow when height is involved or does it include other preferences?

Your desire for someone younger
Physically attractive
And physically fit

Is what?

ETA: I have no problems with preferences as you’re aware. But I think we should be mindful of calling one stance and avoiding the same with others.

 

[Sketcher]

Definitely risks, but I think some of those risks are possible w/ trying to date any woman

They have uniquely inconvenient and potentially damaging ramifications in a workplace environment. It's your choice whether you want to risk it or not. But, if you're the kind of guy who has to rely on work as a potential environment for meeting a wife, do you really have what it takes to handle one of those consequences if the relationship doesn't work out?

 

[DragonFox91]

They have uniquely inconvenient and potentially damaging ramifications in a workplace environment. It's your choice whether you want to risk it or not. But, if you're the kind of guy who has to rely on work as a potential environment for meeting a wife, do you really have what it takes to handle one of those consequences if the relationship doesn't work out?

I'll add it to the list of 50 other places to meet girls you shouldn't date.

 

[DragonFox91]

ThisIsMe, also be aware that many of the traits women look for in a partner, the man can control or improve on. Things like confidence, wardrobe, income, faith, etc. You could probably count on one hand the things a man is unable to control or improve on. Unfortunately, height is one of them, but it's one of the few, & honestly, I don't think most women put that much emphasis on it. They're not gonna get a ruler out!

 

[MehGuy]

Is it only shallow when height is involved or does it include other preferences?

Your desire for someone younger
Physically attractive
And physically fit

Is what?

ETA: I have no problems with preferences as you’re aware. But I think we should be mindful of calling one stance and avoiding the same with others.

I don't know where you got the notion that I was engaging in double standards. I said in my very post that men should be allowed to be just as "shallow".

 

[bèlla]

I don't know where you got the notion that I was engaging in double standards. I said in my very post that men should be allowed to be just as "shallow".

I don’t think either is shallow and your thread on the mind thread proves this point. We like what we like. And that’s okay. You can’t force the issue.

 

[MehGuy]

I don’t think either is shallow and your thread on the mind thread proves this point. We like what we like. And that’s okay. You can’t force the issue.

I don't think it's shallow either..

I just want everything to be equal. If a woman can say something that will ruin a man's day.. I want a man to be able to do the same.. without only him being called sexist.

You come from a long genetic line of women being selective for tall traits and I a long line of men being selective for women at their fertile peak. We both can't help how we feel. Thousands/millions of years has shaped that particular part of our psychology.

 

[DragonFox91]

I don't think it's shallow either..

I just want everything to be equal. If a woman can say something that will ruin a man's day.. I want a man to be able to do the same.. without only him being called sexist.

You come from a long genetic line of women being selective for tall traits and I a long line of men being selective for women at their fertile peak. We both can't help how we feel. Thousands/millions of years has shaped that particular part of our psychology.

I must come from a long genetic line that doesn't get dates.

 

[MehGuy]

I must come from a long genetic line that doesn't get dates.

Lol, they all had to be successful with a woman at least once.

 

[DragonFox91]

Lol, they all had to be successful with a woman at least once.

Ugh, I have a nerdy question for you I want the atheist/agnostic in you in particular to answer, but it's too nerdy to ask.

 

[bèlla]

You come from a long genetic line of women being selective for tall traits.

The women in my family are tall. They selected mates with comparable height. Understandably so.

You can find attractiveness in all guises. But we’re naturally drawn to certain qualities.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

They have uniquely inconvenient and potentially damaging ramifications in a workplace environment. It's your choice whether you want to risk it or not. But, if you're the kind of guy who has to rely on work as a potential environment for meeting a wife, do you really have what it takes to handle one of those consequences if the relationship doesn't work out?

I used to work at a place where coupling up has occurred through the workplace. Of course, this makes sense if you live in a suburban or rural area where dating options are limited and your ONLY social life is through work.

I know a couple living together that work together, they DRIVE to work together and go to lunch together an go home together. lol. I know a married couple in the same company...same situation.

Although, I have seen people from the same company, but DIFFERENT departments, date this is probably the more feasible way as you're in different buildings at different locations.

I work with the public, so I have opportunities to ask non-worker women that come into the building.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

The women in my family are tall. They selected mates with comparable height. Understandably so.

You can find attractiveness in all guises. But we’re naturally drawn to certain qualities.

I am naturally attracted to boxomy women, but I don't limited myself to only them. I have dated my share of small chested women as well, found them equally as attractive.

And height, I don' t care how tall or short a woman is.

 

[bèlla]

I am naturally attracted to boxomy women, but I don't limited myself to only them. I have dated my share of small chested women as well, found them equally as attractive.

And height, I don' t care how tall or short a woman is.

Given your circumstances its practical. You’re in a small town and you’ve put down roots. You’ll need to be more flexible. You’re dealing with a smaller demographic.

But I’m in the third largest city in the country. And I’m not tied to one place. If I meet someone I like I can move. I don’t have to stay here. That opens up more opportunities.

 

[Isaiah 2:22]

I get it. I passed on the advice not to date co-workers for a few reasons.

• If you date and are having a fight, you still have to work together.
• If you date and break up, you still have to work together.
• If you date and break up and she decides to date someone else at the office, you three still have to work together.
• If you ask her out and she doesn't reciprocate, she can hit you with an HR complaint for sexual harassment.
• If she decides to break it off and you persist, she can hit you with an HR complaint for sexual harassment.
• If you decide to break it off and she wants to spite you in any way, she's got the goods on you, and can use that information to fabricate an excuse to hit you with an HR complaint for sexual harassment, or threaten you with that if you don't do what she wants.

And if she hits you with an HR complaint for sexual harassment, you can be quickly fired. If you are fired, you may have to explain that when interviewing for a new job. I don't recommend getting in that spot if you can help it.

What kinds of scary and vindictive women are you dating? It seems like only a tiny minority would do things like this. I certainly wouldn't. I would hope other Christian women wouldn't either.

Not that I think dating in the workplace is a great idea, but I hardly think the consequences would be this harsh in most cases.