Perhaps I'm getting this wrong...but it sounds like in your faith...Jesus alone isn't enough to save you.
It's not what you do that saves you:
Gal 2:16 nevertheless knowing that a man is
not justified by the works of the Law but through faith in Christ Jesus, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the Law; since by the works of the Law no flesh will be justified.
Titus 3:5 He saved us,
not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit,
2nd Tim 1:9 who has saved us and called us with a holy calling,
not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was granted us in Christ Jesus from all eternity,
Eph 2:8 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that
not of yourselves, it is the gift of God;
Romans 4:2 For
if Abraham was justified by works, he has something to boast about, but not before God
Phillipians 3:9 and may be found in Him,
not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith,
What needs to be understood is that God didn’t create just to be disappointed by wayward man-then to later save some of His worthless humanity anyway while leaving the rest doomed. He’s had a
great purpose and plan for man from the beginning. God loves
all men, all having been made in His image-valuing them highly even in spite of their sin; He desires that all be saved. And this salvation involves the
perfecting of His creation, a plan He began instituting at the beginning of creation, before the Fall, through the Fall and His dealings with His chosen people, through the advent and work of Jesus when the full light of revelation entered the world, and up to today.
IOW God doesn't, with salvation, decide to
ignore justice, but rather to
restore it to His creation-and/or produce even greater justice yet. "…the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith" is not an imputed or sort of
pretend righteousness but is actually the righteousness which He has always intended for man, as opposed to man's
self-righteousness, which is at the core of all moral evil or sin in the world. This righteousness of God comes on the basis of faith because faith is restored knowledge of and relationship
with God, the relationship that Adam scorned by his act of disobedience. Faith springs forth from the reconciliation between man and God that Jesus accomplished on the cross, so that we begin to
commune with Him again, 'apart from Whom we can do nothing' to paraphrase John 15:5. This communion was always intended as the right order of things. God then begins to do a work in us, of transforming us into His image, of placing His law in our minds and writing it on our hearts. This is what faith and any subsequent gift is meant to lead to-this is what they
must lead to-and He’s the judge of how well we’ve responded to this grace, to His love, in the end. The name of this righteousness, this transformation into His image, is love.
So, integral with this perfecting is the fact that God actually
covets man’s
participation. Again, as a matter of justice He patiently seeks to
draw or elicit the right choice: a “yes” to Him, as opposed to Adam’s “no”. And this “yes” can become louder, stronger, clearer, firmer within us, as we grow in the knowledge and love of Him. In fact, to grow in the knowledge of God
means to grow in love of Him-that response cannot be helped. At the same time, man is still
obligated to righteousness; always has been. “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.” Heb 12:14. But the first step in achieving this is
not to merely
act righteous (by works of the law), but first of all to come into communion with God, from whom all righteousness flows. This, simply put, is the only right and valid source of obedience, this is how God’s righteousness is accomplished in us. This communion, and the love it produces, is the essence of the New Covenant and our justification made real by it.
“If we turn away from evil out of fear of punishment, we are in the position of slaves. If we pursue the enticement of wages, . . . we resemble mercenaries. Finally if we obey for the sake of the good itself and out of love for him who commands . . . we are in the position of children.” Basil of Cesarea, a 4th century believer
