Word Study: To Honor or Curse Parents

[Neal of Zebulun]

Exodus 20:12
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which יהוה thy God giveth thee.

Leviticus 20:9
For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him.

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When we examine the Hebrew roots for "honor" and "curse" we find:

כבד - to be or make heavy (honor)
קלל - to be or make light (curse)

So they are actually opposites of each other!

In the above verses, each word is used in a causative voice, that is literally, to cause your parents to be heavy or light. But both words are used in a figurative context, like how we might say in the English:

Give weight to your father and mother.
But don't make light of them.

But the consequences of the prior being longevity of life and the latter being death would make one think there is a little more to it!

Blessedly, we have Yahushua Christ using both words in the New Testament. Let's compare the Greek with the Hebrew:

Mark 7:
10 For Moses said, Honour thy father and thy mother; and, Whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death:
13 [You Pharisees and scribes are] Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye.

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In the Greek:

τιμαω - to value or fix a price (honor)
κακολογεω - to speak worthlessly of or evil of (curse)

Interestingly, the Greek offers some extra insight!

Praise Yahweh, amen.

 

[Hank77]

G5091
τιμάω
timaō
tim-ah'-o
From G5093; to prize, that is, fix a valuation upon; by implication to revere: - honour, value.
G5093
τίμιος
timios
tim'-ee-os
Including the comparative τίμιώτερος timiōteros and the superlative τίμιώτατος timiōtatos; from G5092; valuable, that is, (objectively) costly, or (subjectively) honored, esteemed, or (figuratively) beloved: - dear, honourable, (more, most) precious, had in reputation.

I noticed that you used Yahweh and OT scriptures so I'll share this as well. I like to see what Clarke had to say on many things because he read Hebrew and Jewish writings. Sometimes he had more insight in Jewish thought and tradition than some others did.
Adam Clarke's Commentary
Honor thy father and mother - This word was taken in great latitude of meaning among the Jews: it not only meant respect and submission, but also to take care of a person, to nourish and support him, to enrich. See Num_22:17; Jdg_13:17; 1Ti_5:17. And that this was the sense of the law, as it respected parents, see Deu_27:16, and see the note on Exo_20:12.
on Exo 20:12
......
The rabbins say, Honor the Lord with thy substance, Pro_3:9; and, Honor thy father and mother. The Lord is to be honored thus if thou have it; thy father and mother, whether thou have it or not; for if thou have nothing, thou art bound to beg for them. See Ainsworth.
......

 

[mojo487]

Well, if I may I'd like to share a personal experience in which I believe I'm totally just in cursing or disowning my parent. You see, ever since I was a child my parents were drug addicts. They still took great care of me believe it or not, but usually it was my grandparents (mother's side) taking care of me and being my real parents, so to speak. I have lived with them for years after my parents divorced, and moved back and forth between living with my mom and them. They are my real parents in my eyes.

So my mom has disrespected them to the point where she doesn't have anything to do with her parents at all, because they are raising me I guess. She has disrespected me by stealing from me, and judging me from a hypocritical standpoint. I do not wish to see her until she has apologized, which she is aware of and doesn't care. She said she will never apologize. So is it wrong for me to never honor her again, or even curse her? I honor my grandparents more than any people on this planet.

 

[Neal of Zebulun]

Well, if I may I'd like to share a personal experience in which I believe I'm totally just in cursing or disowning my parent. You see, ever since I was a child my parents were drug addicts. They still took great care of me believe it or not, but usually it was my grandparents (mother's side) taking care of me and being my real parents, so to speak. I have lived with them for years after my parents divorced, and moved back and forth between living with my mom and them. They are my real parents in my eyes.

So my mom has disrespected them to the point where she doesn't have anything to do with her parents at all, because they are raising me I guess. She has disrespected me by stealing from me, and judging me from a hypocritical standpoint. I do not wish to see her until she has apologized, which she is aware of and doesn't care. She said she will never apologize. So is it wrong for me to never honor her again, or even curse her? I honor my grandparents more than any people on this planet.

It's a legitimate question.

Consider the following verses:

Gen 8:21
..[after the flood in Noah's day] Yahweh said in his heart, I will not again curse [קלל] the ground any more for Adam's sake..​

1Sa 3:13
..[concerning Eli the priest in the days of Samuel] I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile [קלל], and he restrained them not.

Psa 37:22
For such as be blessed of him shall inherit the earth; and they that be cursed [קלל] of him shall be cut off.​

In the first, the land was destroyed, and devalued after the flood.

In the second, the priest's sons did great evil, bringing themselves low, and making themselves vile.

In the third, Yahweh cuts off the wicked who are contemptible and unworthy of inheriting the earth.

It would be wrong for you to curse your parents.
Even if Yahweh in all His righteousness already has.
Rather, value what they actually are, learn from their mistakes so "that thy days may be long upon the land which Yahweh thy God giveth thee."
It reads as if your mother is cursing her parents, your grandparents. So don't be like her.
Stick to what Christ taught:

Mat 5:
19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.
20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.​

 

[mojo487]

It's a legitimate question.

Consider the following verses:

Gen 8:21
..[after the flood in Noah's day] Yahweh said in his heart, I will not again curse [קלל] the ground any more for Adam's sake..​

1Sa 3:13
..[concerning Eli the priest in the days of Samuel] I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile [קלל], and he restrained them not.

Psa 37:22
For such as be blessed of him shall inherit the earth; and they that be cursed [קלל] of him shall be cut off.​

In the first, the land was destroyed, and devalued after the flood.

In the second, the priest's sons did great evil, bringing themselves low, and making themselves vile.

In the third, Yahweh cuts off the wicked who are contemptible and unworthy of inheriting the earth.

It would be wrong for you to curse your parents.
Even if Yahweh in all His righteousness already has.
Rather, value what they actually are, learn from their mistakes so "that thy days may be long upon the land which Yahweh thy God giveth thee."
It reads as if your mother is cursing her parents, your grandparents. So don't be like her.
Stick to what Christ taught:

Mat 5:
19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.
20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.​

I mean, what exactly is the meaning of "curse" in this case? She has done me wrong far before I stopped reaching out to her. It's not like I contact her with hateful intentions, I just simply don't contact her, and she does the same. I don't think I'm in the wrong there, especially when it's the hate in her heart that fuels the separation between us, AND between her and her parents. She reaches out to no one, so why would we be obligated to?

I would also like to add that after my parents separated, she led me to believe awful lies about my dad, which caused me to despise him at a young age. It was totally wrong and she will never apologize for it or admit it. I see my dad all the time now.

 

[Neal of Zebulun]

I mean, what exactly is the meaning of "curse" in this case? She has done me wrong far before I stopped reaching out to her. It's not like I contact her with hateful intentions, I just simply don't contact her, and she does the same. I don't think I'm in the wrong there, especially when it's the hate in her heart that fuels the separation between us, AND between her and her parents. She reaches out to no one, so why would we be obligated to?

I would also like to add that after my parents separated, she led me to believe awful lies about my dad, which caused me to despise him at a young age. It was totally wrong and she will never apologize for it or admit it. I see my dad all the time now.

I just read through Job chapters 1-3, and the entirety of chapter 3 is a really good example of a curse. Job curses the day he was born (and thus his own existence.) The first two chapters build up the context as to why.

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As regards to why it's not necessarily wrong to separate from your mother:

Mat 10:
34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.
39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.​

Just remember to be open-hearted and forgiving if she does seek genuine repentance some day.

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Before you ask for an example of "honor", did you not already give one?:

"You see, ever since I was a child my parents were drug addicts. They still took great care of me believe it or not..."

That's amazing.

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By the way, in Hebrew, the word for "father" (אב) includes the concept of grand-father, great-grand-father, great-great-grand-father, etc.

Gen 32:9
And Jacob said, O God of my father Abraham, and God of my father Isaac, Yahweh which saidst unto me, Return unto thy country, and to thy kindred, and I will deal well with thee:​

The word for "mother" (אם) can likely be used in the same way.

Praise יהוה.

 

[tdidymas]

Well, if I may I'd like to share a personal experience in which I believe I'm totally just in cursing or disowning my parent. You see, ever since I was a child my parents were drug addicts. They still took great care of me believe it or not, but usually it was my grandparents (mother's side) taking care of me and being my real parents, so to speak. I have lived with them for years after my parents divorced, and moved back and forth between living with my mom and them. They are my real parents in my eyes.

So my mom has disrespected them to the point where she doesn't have anything to do with her parents at all, because they are raising me I guess. She has disrespected me by stealing from me, and judging me from a hypocritical standpoint. I do not wish to see her until she has apologized, which she is aware of and doesn't care. She said she will never apologize. So is it wrong for me to never honor her again, or even curse her? I honor my grandparents more than any people on this planet.

I think you have the right to do just what you are doing. I would like to add something to it that I think is important. As Christians, forgiveness is foundational to our Christian life and relationship with God and others. We need to forgive in our hearts, but we don't have to express forgiveness unless the other person repents. Jesus said, "If you brother sins against you, then if he repents, forgive him." Yet we must guard our heart against bitterness and prejudice. So forgiveness in this sense means, release that person into the hands of God, pray for her, and hope for her repentance, and be ready to express forgiveness to her if that should ever happen.
TD

 

[mojo487]

I think you have the right to do just what you are doing. I would like to add something to it that I think is important. As Christians, forgiveness is foundational to our Christian life and relationship with God and others. We need to forgive in our hearts, but we don't have to express forgiveness unless the other person repents. Jesus said, "If you brother sins against you, then if he repents, forgive him." Yet we must guard our heart against bitterness and prejudice. So forgiveness in this sense means, release that person into the hands of God, pray for her, and hope for her repentance, and be ready to express forgiveness to her if that should ever happen.
TD

Of course. No one is out of reach of my forgiveness, because I know it's not my place to ultimately judge anyone because I am also a sinner. I forgive her because I know that she thinks she is right. But I won't reach out to someone like that. Someone that never admits their faults, pointing blame in any other direction.
Anyways thanks for sharing your opinion God bless!