Some of you here may know that both my parents are deceased. They died when I was very young and they were young as well. I'm starting to feel really horrible and guilty of myself. I now have big big regrets. Dad died first. My parents were divorced so I lived with my mom. I wasn't close to my dad unfortunately but I still saw him frequently. 1 day he was rushed to the hospital for complaining about severe stomach pains. He was admitted overnight to have the doctors run test on him. Shocking they discovered he had cancer. A couple of days later, he went into a coma. Within a week he died. My sister had gone to the hospital a few times to see him before he died. But with me, I didn't. I only went once and that was it. I feel that he's mad at me for not caring and visiting him when I should had. That's been on my mind for years. Then a few years after, my mom died in a tragic accident. A few months before her death, we had a huge fight. I ended saying something so horrible to her which I didn't mean at all. That's 1. For the first couple of years I was grieving. Then later on, I was so angry at her I ended up cussing about her and not caring her anymore. Plus saying mean really things now that she's dead. Because she left me and my sister too soon. And I was also angry at her for other things she did when she was alive. But now after a few years of all this anger, I'm really starting to miss her and I need a mom now. I feel so disgusted with myself because I grieved, then I hated, now I'm grieving again. I just want to know if I can be forgiven by them and that I'm so so sorry for acting that way. I now cry almost every day thinking about my mom and dad and wish I didn't do those things that I did. Both when they were alive and deceased.