- May 17, 2020
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Will Jesus accept me if am not good enough?
I mean I was born again and learned to speak in tongues and even sometimes keywords of prophecy for people . I know am in the faith but I really struggle with theology
I have battled OCD and other issues including BPD, Complex PTS D and major fears that am not really saved or that am going to help because I struggle as a physically disabled person (neurological and movement disorders, dystonia and also an endocrine illness called PCOS) to really.do much of w worth for God
sometimes the fears that my faith is counterfeit really try to affect me and I get relief by telling the devil to shut up but am struggling again to find peace in my heart
my theology is bad because I believe the following:
I believe that although we can overcome and grow to be more like Christ I struggle to accept we can be free of all sin until we are resurrected in heaven
I am unsure where I stand on abortion if used in cases regarding life threatening illness or rape.
I believe people.can lose salvation if they choose to reject God or allow their heart to become hardened but I also believe God keeps all those who don't abandon the faith even if they only grow a bit of fruit. Obviously we should grow lots.of fruit but I believe there are true Christians who cannot work for God so they develop little fruit but God still accepts them. I honestly believe this and I been told am wrong but I can't accept God being harsh taskmaster. I was abused by a Christian parent and have spent my life since being born again in my 20s trying to overcome an image of an angry Father God who tells me am a waste of space like my own Christian dad did constantly or who screams at me am threatens me if I make a sin or mistake (again like my dad did). So I get very upset at the idea that any real Christians will perish
I support women s rights social justice
I believe God has different gifts and callings for each of us but that He doesn't prefer one above another
I do like to have a balanced life. I often have to put my own needs first due to my health issues and I know am sinning by looking after !myself but I feel unable to cope with much right now
I do try to give freely of my money but I don't get have faith to give it all up...I get my pay cheques every fortnight , my welfare cheques and I wish I had faith to give ALL my money away and not keep any for myself but I dont...
I sometimes read novels or listen to music like jazz or classical instead of hymns or gospel I try stick to wholesome clean content but I don't do Christian media only like I should
I love to dress nicely and resent that the Bible says women shouldn't wear adornments...I know that is bad but I feel that way. It is all so petty I know
I lie a lot but am working on it. I lie because of shame. I don't like myself in some ways. I do make sure to confess my lies to God so they can be forgiven and erased forever
I know gluttony is a sin but food is one of my few pleasures. I binge then take laxatives. am in a 12 step recovery programme for this which does help. I know 12 step grandparent biblical but I don't see them contradicting the Bible really
I am in a lovely open minded inclusive church in the UK and have a great vicar and also a trauma and dialectical behaviour based therapist who is a Christian also and they all tell me to relx and that Jesus will perfect me His own time
I guess am asking for reassurance
I mean I was born again and learned to speak in tongues and even sometimes keywords of prophecy for people . I know am in the faith but I really struggle with theology
I have battled OCD and other issues including BPD, Complex PTS D and major fears that am not really saved or that am going to help because I struggle as a physically disabled person (neurological and movement disorders, dystonia and also an endocrine illness called PCOS) to really.do much of w worth for God
sometimes the fears that my faith is counterfeit really try to affect me and I get relief by telling the devil to shut up but am struggling again to find peace in my heart
my theology is bad because I believe the following:
I believe that although we can overcome and grow to be more like Christ I struggle to accept we can be free of all sin until we are resurrected in heaven
I am unsure where I stand on abortion if used in cases regarding life threatening illness or rape.
I believe people.can lose salvation if they choose to reject God or allow their heart to become hardened but I also believe God keeps all those who don't abandon the faith even if they only grow a bit of fruit. Obviously we should grow lots.of fruit but I believe there are true Christians who cannot work for God so they develop little fruit but God still accepts them. I honestly believe this and I been told am wrong but I can't accept God being harsh taskmaster. I was abused by a Christian parent and have spent my life since being born again in my 20s trying to overcome an image of an angry Father God who tells me am a waste of space like my own Christian dad did constantly or who screams at me am threatens me if I make a sin or mistake (again like my dad did). So I get very upset at the idea that any real Christians will perish
I support women s rights social justice
I believe God has different gifts and callings for each of us but that He doesn't prefer one above another
I do like to have a balanced life. I often have to put my own needs first due to my health issues and I know am sinning by looking after !myself but I feel unable to cope with much right now
I do try to give freely of my money but I don't get have faith to give it all up...I get my pay cheques every fortnight , my welfare cheques and I wish I had faith to give ALL my money away and not keep any for myself but I dont...
I sometimes read novels or listen to music like jazz or classical instead of hymns or gospel I try stick to wholesome clean content but I don't do Christian media only like I should
I love to dress nicely and resent that the Bible says women shouldn't wear adornments...I know that is bad but I feel that way. It is all so petty I know
I lie a lot but am working on it. I lie because of shame. I don't like myself in some ways. I do make sure to confess my lies to God so they can be forgiven and erased forever
I know gluttony is a sin but food is one of my few pleasures. I binge then take laxatives. am in a 12 step recovery programme for this which does help. I know 12 step grandparent biblical but I don't see them contradicting the Bible really
I am in a lovely open minded inclusive church in the UK and have a great vicar and also a trauma and dialectical behaviour based therapist who is a Christian also and they all tell me to relx and that Jesus will perfect me His own time
I guess am asking for reassurance