Will all Christian Husbands Cheat?

[qbnimport]

I can tell you from past experience, that not ALL men cheat. I've been married twice and neither of my ex husbands cheated and I knew that for a fact. But they had their own issues. We all have our own issues, that is why we need Jesus. I'm sorry you were hurt.

We actually had a man in our church, come 'clean' in front of the entire church, about his unfaithfulness. He and his wife are still together. I imagine, it was a tough road, but they endured it.

There is always Hope that we have to hang on to.

They overwhelming majority of husbands cheat, and this needs to be addressed by the church. Your case is an exception, but it doesn't mean that most women have your experience.

 

[qbnimport]

I know that I'm going to upset someone with my first post. I'm sorry about that, but it's the truth as I see it...

Most men cheat because they can. Period. It's harder for a woman to cheat because we are too busy holding down the household or we get fat. Once we are done with that, then we become too old and no men want us. This is a man's world and God is a man. Women were an after thought, come a dime a dozen, and don't really matter much outside of sex and cleaning. We are replacable anytime with a much younger model. The truth hurts! The only ladies that might have it good are the ones that are as they say nowadays, Hot.

See men, thats why women have to try to go for the money and the kids because in the end that's all we get to have. Don't hate me, don't be angry at what I'm saying. It just is what it is. I understand why a woman would turn gay in these times. Btw, God said that we would long for our husbands, not the other way around. Think about that ladies. It is part of THE PUNISHMENT!

Bravo!!! Finally, a Christian who isn't afraid to tell the truth! Pastors know this truth too, they just try to be politically correct and avoid stepping on any toes on Sunday mornings. The statistics are there for all to see. Solution? Start from day one to train the boys to respect females. Have training sessions for pre-marrieds on how to love and respect your wife. The church has been doing the opposite for centuries - trying to force submission down a woman's throat knowing full well they were suffering under cheating, verbal and physical abuse of them and the children. Again, the stats are horrible. 75% of husbands admit to cheating, the lower numbers you might see represent those who don't admit it. When a husband cheats it's because he can. When a wife cheats (much less often), it's because the husband is not loving her, cheating or abusing/neglecting. This is the #1 cause of divorce. We shake our heads at the stats but we don't do anything about it. 75% of all divorce is initiated by a woman who has a cheating husband. Wives also leave the marriage for abuse not only of them, but the children too. 1 out of every 3 girls is sexually abused the overwhelming majority of the time by their own fathers or step-fathers. Enough already!!! The church needs to change this, not just continue to say that women have to submit to this.

 

[DZoolander]

I disagree with the above.

I'd argue that boyfriends are far more likely to cheat than girlfriends - but that wives are far more likely to cheat than husbands.

 

[GQ Chris]

Where are these "statistics" from?

 

[k450ofu3k-gh-5ipe]

Bravo!!! Finally, a Christian who isn't afraid to tell the truth! Pastors know this truth too, they just try to be politically correct and avoid stepping on any toes on Sunday mornings. The statistics are there for all to see. Solution? Start from day one to train the boys to respect females. Have training sessions for pre-marrieds on how to love and respect your wife. The church has been doing the opposite for centuries - trying to force submission down a woman's throat knowing full well they were suffering under cheating, verbal and physical abuse of them and the children. Again, the stats are horrible. 75% of husbands admit to cheating, the lower numbers you might see represent those who don't admit it. When a husband cheats it's because he can. When a wife cheats (much less often), it's because the husband is not loving her, cheating or abusing/neglecting. This is the #1 cause of divorce. We shake our heads at the stats but we don't do anything about it. 75% of all divorce is initiated by a woman who has a cheating husband. Wives also leave the marriage for abuse not only of them, but the children too. 1 out of every 3 girls is sexually abused the overwhelming majority of the time by their own fathers or step-fathers. Enough already!!! The church needs to change this, not just continue to say that women have to submit to this.

Lol, so men are just inherently evil and women are just reacting to their poor situations by lashing out and cheating, eh? Do you subscribe to the Joel and Kathy teachings by any chance?

 

[k450ofu3k-gh-5ipe]

Where are these "statistics" from?

Didn't you know that 87.5% of statistics are made up on the spot?

 

[Sandradee0303]

I have to agree with some of the men here......NOT ALL MEN CHEAT! This is coming from a woman who is separated from a man that cheated.

During my first, young, marriage my H and I were in the military and we both cheated. We didn't have God in our lives, we didn't have family around us, we didn't get counseling to figure out how to make our marriage work since both of us were lonely. We were young, immature, and not Christians!

Second marriage, now I am an adult. I spend 12 years in a marriage with a man that lied to me about everything, was addicted to porn, and finally cheated. I spent that marriage trying to serve him and submit because I am a Christian. He did not want for sex, a clean house, good food, or a yard person. I did it all and it wasn't enough.

People cheat for all different reasons. I don't think that we can claim that it is only men or that it is the spouses fault. Sometimes they play a large part, sometimes they don't.

I feel that my responsibility in my heartache lay in the fact that I should have left him after the first couple years of catching him in so many lies. When he refused to get counseling or do anything to help the marriage. I should have left. Instead, because it was my second marriage. I stayed. I felt like a failure. I kept trying to make him happy. Guess what, he wasn't happy with himself, there was nothing I could do.

Now we are separated. I want a divorce. I don't want to feel the way he makes me feel anymore.

But, now he is starting to walk the walk! So, that leaves me the sinner because I still want a divorce. Thank God for that little adultery clause!!!

The whole point I am trying to make is that no, it is not just men!

Men AND women need to learn to respect each other and men AND women need to learn to keep their vows.

God Bless us all and may we all heal from the pain of adultery.


off my soap box now

 

[k450ofu3k-gh-5ipe]

I have to agree with some of the men here......NOT ALL MEN CHEAT! This is coming from a woman who is separated from a man that cheated.

During my first, young, marriage my H and I were in the military and we both cheated. We didn't have God in our lives, we didn't have family around us, we didn't get counseling to figure out how to make our marriage work since both of us were lonely. We were young, immature, and not Christians!

Second marriage, now I am an adult. I spend 12 years in a marriage with a man that lied to me about everything, was addicted to porn, and finally cheated. I spent that marriage trying to serve him and submit because I am a Christian. He did not want for sex, a clean house, good food, or a yard person. I did it all and it wasn't enough.

People cheat for all different reasons. I don't think that we can claim that it is only men or that it is the spouses fault. Sometimes they play a large part, sometimes they don't.

I feel that my responsibility in my heartache lay in the fact that I should have left him after the first couple years of catching him in so many lies. When he refused to get counseling or do anything to help the marriage. I should have left. Instead, because it was my second marriage. I stayed. I felt like a failure. I kept trying to make him happy. Guess what, he wasn't happy with himself, there was nothing I could do.

Now we are separated. I want a divorce. I don't want to feel the way he makes me feel anymore.

But, now he is starting to walk the walk! So, that leaves me the sinner because I still want a divorce. Thank God for that little adultery clause!!!

The whole point I am trying to make is that no, it is not just men!

Men AND women need to learn to respect each other and men AND women need to learn to keep their vows.

God Bless us all and may we all heal from the pain of adultery.


off my soap box now

Awesome post

 

[Sandradee0303]

Thank you dsrohe

 

[dayhiker]

ya, sandra, good post.

Back to 85% of men commit adultery. Well, as the old saying goes, they have to commit adultery with some one!

 

[Million Pieces]

ya, sandra, good post.

Back to 85% of men commit adultery. Well, as the old saying goes, they have to commit adultery with some one!

Which begs the question, is the "other person" as culpable in the adultery as the married person? What if the "other person" is also married? What if they are single?

 

[Romanseight2005]

That's a good question. If one person is unmarried, then no, they aren't responsible for any kind of adultery. I say this because often the unmarried one doesn't know the other is married, but the married one, always knows they are. Biblically speaking though, having sex with a another's married spouse was considered adultery, so it's yes, and no, depending upon whether or not the unmarried one knows.

 

[Sandradee0303]

Which begs the question, is the "other person" as culpable in the adultery as the married person? What if the "other person" is also married? What if they are single?

I absolutely believe that the person that is married is more culpable. If he/she is cheating with a single person that doesn't say much for the morals of the single person but that person did not swear to God to be faithful! JMHO

 

[Romanseight2005]

I absolutely believe that the person that is married is more culpable. If he/she is cheating with a single person that doesn't say much for the morals of the single person but that person did not swear to God to be faithful! JMHO

Not to mention the fact that the single person doesn't always even know that the other is married.

 

[Sandradee0303]

Not to mention the fact that the single person doesn't always even know that the other is married.

****ABSOLUTELY****

 

[Rudolph Hucker]

Spoken like a cheater. All men only cheat because they are weak & lack moral fiber. Any excuse is just that, an excuse. Would you say, "That is only half true, some men molest children because of genuine issues in the marriage not just back peddling excuses." or "Some men get sexual pleasure from setting cats on fire because of genuine issues in the marriage not just back peddling excuses." er, what? When does a man become responsible for his own actions, like a grown up? At what age? No, no men ever cheat for any reason other than abject failure to have learned what it is to be a man.

I wonder who such men cheat with?

Could it be women?

 

[MikeMarroni]

I was married 18 years and did not cheat. My wife did several times. That doesn't mean all Christian wives cheat. A FOLLOWER of Jesus does not cheat. Many Christians are cheerleaders for Christ. They go to church, rah rah for Christ, but don't live a Christian lifestyle. Followers are not perfect but making a choice to cheat on a spouse is proof that the chooser is not a follower. It really isn't hard to stay out of jail, not steal, not kill someone, not cheat on your spouse, etc...

 

[darktipper]

Women cheat just as much as men do. When a man cheats it is most likely with a woman and when women cheat it is mostly with a man. Women who are married cheat more than single women. Also women cheat with "taken" men more than with single men. I believe that women just don't get caught as often while guy brag about it or don't care if they get caught. Another thing that I find funny is women say that they want a decent guy then when they date one they leave him for being "boring or too nice." It shows the sinful nature of humans if you want to be treated like crap and call it love. I have never been married (glad that I have not been) but I see a huuuuuge problem with men and women. I see both sides with a me me me I want want want attitude. Yes more women initiate divorces. I can see if you was abused or cheated on but you have tons of women leave becasue they can leave or wanted to leave or resent/have no respect for their husbands. The stat is kind of skewed a bit. I beleive that men would file more if the penalty of a guy was not so high like paying child support. We all know that men get abused by women too but they are too afraid to leave and or they will get looked down upon by society. A man can call the cops and say that his wife is abusing him and they may side with the woman. I read stories like that. So in my opinion cheating is 50/50. I have female friends who admitted to cheating on their bf/husbands, I have relatives that cheated on numerous husbands and so on. Women have lust issues too but it is not addressed in society. I think a lot of Christians are delusional to think that a christian makes you a better spouse/lover when in reality believers and non believers go through the same issues. I destroyed the soapbox lol

 

[lindart]

Macx, my prayer is that more boys who some day will grow up would have a Man like you for a father! God bless you!

 

[mjmcmillan]

Personal note: I didn't cheat, she undoubtedly did.

About the other thing: If ever I date again, I make a personal vow that I will NEVER try to win a woman who believes that all men are cheaters. I don't have anywhere near the time or the patience it would take to try to prove to her that I wouldn't cheat on her. Life is already hard enough without trying to live with somebody who is sure you're guilty until proven innocent. Flip side of the coin: I don't want to spend my time doubting her fidelity either. We're grown people here-- at least I hope so-- so we shouldn't be having to parent each other to be sure we behave properly.