Why?

[Dungbeetle]

Why does she treat me like a doormat? Why does she condemn me? Why does she judge me? What gives her the right to speak for God?

What have I done to deserve being treated like crap? How can she call herself a Christian?

I know one of the ten commandments says:

"Honor your father and your mother"

But really this is going a bit far isn't it? Allowing them to persecute you and slander your name for years and years and years until they drive you down into the ground. Take away your faith.

I got married because she told me to. I had children because she told me to. I've lived my whole life trying to please and appease her but she just carries on condemning me.

 

[inHisgripkim]

Why does she treat me like a doormat? Why does she condemn me? Why does she judge me? What gives her the right to speak for God?

What have I done to deserve being treated like crap? How can she call herself a Christian?

I know one of the ten commandments says:

"Honor your father and your mother"

But really this is going a bit far isn't it? Allowing them to persecute you and slander your name for years and years and years until they drive you down into the ground. Take away your faith.

I got married because she told me to. I had children because she told me to. I've lived my whole life trying to please and appease her but she just carries on condemning me.

She may continue because you are allowing her too. You are an adult and you do have a right live your own life and make choices for yourself. You may need to take a respectful stance and set your boundaries. Your mother may not like it, but that is her issue. If she tells you to go kill someone, you would not. At least I hope you wouldn't. You are an adult and she has no control other than self-control if she chooses to exercise it. Make your stance respectfully. Set your boundaries. If she is nasty to you, then it's best to love her from afar till she adjusts and accepts the fact that you also have freedom of choice as does she.

Christians are not perfect and still have issues and problems. How your mother behaves is not a reflection of God or God's doing.

Stand tall. You can be respectuful and still set your boundaries. Don't stoop to her level. Be your own person. She may throw guilt trips and things like that at you. That's all about her not you. Tell her you love her but you are going to live your life as you choose.

Hang in there.
lol kim

 

[Dungbeetle]

Christians are not perfect and still have issues and problems. How your mother behaves is not a reflection of God or God's doing.

Stand tall. You can be respectuful and still set your boundaries. Don't stoop to her level. Be your own person. She may throw guilt trips and things like that at you. That's all about her not you. Tell her you love her but you are going to live your life as you choose.

Hang in there.
lol kim

Thank you.

It is the slander and the subtle smearing that upsets me most. She does not come out with it anymore, she just insinuates. She tries to avoid conflict that way, because she has a heart condition, but that is worse for me. I have to take the subtle insults and cannot fight back. I think the only way to deal with this is to stop talking to her. It makes me so angry when she insinuates insults. (She insinuates that I am a hypocrite to call myself a Christian just because I do not practice NFP anymore.)

 

[scraparcs]

Is there a possibility of severing contact with her for a while?

 

[inHisgripkim]

Thank you.

It is the slander and the subtle smearing that upsets me most. She does not come out with it anymore, she just insinuates. She tries to avoid conflict that way, because she has a heart condition, but that is worse for me. I have to take the subtle insults and cannot fight back. I think the only way to deal with this is to stop talking to her. It makes me so angry when she insinuates insults. (She insinuates that I am a hypocrite to call myself a Christian just because I do not practice NFP anymore.)

My Mom is the same way. She can be down right negative and mean though I don't think she does it intentionally. If I am not feeling good about me, it's hard to take her negaivity. When I'm feeling good about me, I can shrug it off and sort of chuckle quietly.

There is a saying: If you don't have anything good to say, don't say it at all. You might want to remind her of that one. I don't doubt that she is battling some depression from her heart condition and age. As we get older we regress back to child also.

Take what she says with a grain of salt. It's her and not you. When you are anticipating seeing her, remind yourself how she is. Put on the armor of God. Prepare yourself before you see her. This way when her negative comments are unleashed, you are not caught off guard. Expect it when you see her.

Remember that it isn't you. Her irritability is all about her. I don't doubt that she is displacing her negative feelings on to you. When my mom isn't feeling well, she gets really negative. I recognize that now.

Put on His armor,
God bless,
Kim

 

[Dungbeetle]

Thank you all for your help.

I am trying to have less contact with her now. I think that you are right about her being depressed but it has not been easy for me either. Negativity seems to spread like a disease, from her to me and from me to my children. I must break the cycle.

I will remember the armour of God. My personal armour is an Anglican cross. Most of her issues with me are over Roman Catholic dogma. But as long as I keep reminding myself (and her) that I am an Anglican now, she cannot effect me.

 

[Harlan Norris]

Why does she treat me like a doormat? Why does she condemn me? Why does she judge me? What gives her the right to speak for God?

What have I done to deserve being treated like crap? How can she call herself a Christian?

I know one of the ten commandments says:

"Honor your father and your mother"

But really this is going a bit far isn't it? Allowing them to persecute you and slander your name for years and years and years until they drive you down into the ground. Take away your faith.

I got married because she told me to. I had children because she told me to. I've lived my whole life trying to please and appease her but she just carries on condemning me.

It's a control issue. You aren't the only one that suffers.Many like yourself.Me too. However I didn't do as she said.The battle was joined and we fought,nearly till her death.She claimed to be Christian.But she wanted what she wanted,and was willing to do anything to get it.Frankly,it ruined her walk and nearly prevented me from finding my faith.Later though, when dad passed,and she was all alone,I took care of her.Don't let your mother ruin your faith.If you want your freedom,you must stand up to her.You have more power than you think.I will pray for you.