My Situation is this..
My Legalistic View started shortly after coming to the Lord. I was a smoker trying to quit when someone approached me & told me that the Holy Spirit can't dwell in a body polluted with evil (referring to my nicotine addiction).. When he said that something in my brain switched & everything spiraled downwards cause I started to feel that God would reject me if I didn't quit smoking. So for months I struggled & suffered trying to prove myself worthy but feeling like a failure cause I couldn't quit smoking no matter what I did. The Lord delivered me in March, but the Legalistic approach stuck with me
Ok so I think that's pretty important. For some reason what this person has said has stuck with you and your 'Godliness' is now directly associated with it, and since you can't shake it, you are feeling abandoned. So, I think there are a couple of things here. First up, I think you've accepted a false premise, in that God cannot be in a body that is evil. If that were actually true, we are all pretty much up a creek without a paddle. Think about that one for a second. We are all sinful, right? I doubt anyone would assert we are perfect, pure and holy. Jesus recognized this when He washed the disciples feet, He told them that even though they are saved - pure, clean and holy - they are still in the world, and as such they pick up dirt and need to clean it off. Biblically nowhere does it say that God flees our body if we sin. There are rules about our bodies, that we should not deface them, we should not align them with prostitutes and so on. Those commands are precisely the same as others saying not to steal, not to do murder and so on. Nowhere does it say, that if we
do sin, that God flees us. In fact, it says the exact opposite:
Hebrews 13:5 is talking about living a good Christian life, and God says:
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you.
It goes on to say, and I'm paraphrasing now, that why should we fear what any man can do to us, because God has our back.
So it's really my thoughts at this point that this person, perhaps unwittingly, has planted a fairly insidious seed, and it's causing you to spiral around in despair which is turning to self-loathing as you feel you aren't good enough for God, and He has abandoned you. Nicotine addiction is an incredibly difficult habit to overcome, certainly not something you can flick a switch off on, and have go away without further incident. The Bible doesn't say that God will abandon you if you sin, it says you shouldn't sin, you should lie with prostitutes, or do murder, or thieve. BUT, it says that even if you
do do these things, God will still be there, because He will
never forsake you. That is the power of true love, true Biblical (agape) love - which is a love through recognition of value. It's not relative, ie - it doesn't change if you do something wrong - that by all accounts is how most humans love. To summarize this part, I think you feeling God doesn't want you back and you aren't good enough because you smoke is all a construct of your own making with help from some pretty unbiblical advice.
My Christian Community really isn't there.. I live with 3 people & I'm the only Christian in my house. 2 people in my house are typical American Christians (believe in God but don't worship, believe in the Bible but don't read it) & the 3rd in my house was a typical American Christian until my grandad passed on Easter Sunday last year & now she's an atheist. I was baptized & attend a good Bible believing Church that God led me too after praying for one, its a good 25 minute drive & since backsliding I haven't been attending. And my friends really aren't very Christian.. I'm kind of isolated
Well some of this is out of your control, but there are obvious parts that you have control over. This has obviously affected you quite strongly, so you have stopped going to church, potentially due to not feeling worthy or good enough to go and your church being
just far enough away to be a decent journey there and perhaps also hindering a desire to go. Your friends you can't change unfortunately, but you can go to church. Another thing is that you can try to stop smoking too, I'm not sure what methods you've tried before, but something that is really horrible about nicotine addiction is that it's a twofold addiction - it's a habitual addiction, and a chemical addiction. Often the chemical addiction is easier to break, than the habitual one. I would strongly suggest staying away from any perceived miracle-cure things, like "Stop smoking in 1-hour." etc, as they have a huge failure rate and will only leave you feeling horrible when you start smoking again an 1 and 1/2 hours later.
Try something longer term, like
Smokenders or approach your health council and see if they can offer you some advice and point you towards a similar program that tackles both the habit and the chemical addictions.
Lastly, I know you feel a strong conviction about smoking and that comes
directly from God. The Holy Spirit is what convicts and compels us to change our ways. Our built-in morality and ethics from God also works with the Spirit to lead and teach us. God doesn't want us to do certain things, but He will 'never forsake' us if we do, do them. That is not His way, if He did leave us, we would perish. So have confidence and faith (trust) in God. Take action for yourself, and change the things you can such as attending church and trying a
long-term smoking prevention course because by doing so, you are showing a willingness to draw near to God, and in doing that, God will draw near to you.
James 4:8
"Draw near to God and he will draw near to you."
Hope that helps :>
