Why Marry Within the Faith?

[Andre3000]

I have a question that has always bothered me. It may be a bit of a generalization but why are Christians strongly encouraged to marry within Chistianity, perhaps more specifically, why are Christians of each sect strongly encouraged only to marry within their respective sect? I know that the most obvious answer is to keep the religion alive, but to me it is like you are placing restrictions on love, and therefore the concept of love is not understood or experienced in such a forced union.

Thanks in advance for any response.

<---I just wanted to put this in here because it made me laugh.

 

[seebs]

There are certainly issues to be confronted with marriage to someone who doesn't share your beliefs about the structure of the universe. I think there's something real being addressed there, although it can easily turn into excessive legalism.

 

[BlackRose16]

Well..
First off, I think if you're a serious dater, you should date in your religion, so you don't have problems, or alot of disagreements about things, also if you're going to get married to that person, it would be hard to decide what to put the child under, the religion that is. If you're both of the same thing, then it's easy. I personally think it's a good idea, to date/marry someone of the same religion, because you know for a fact you'll be together forever.

 

[Protestant Minister]

Clergy don't like inter-faith marriages because they're afraid the spouse of their faith will be influenced by the other one and will change their beliefs.Marriage counselors don't like inter-faith marriages because it's just one more thing that couples can argue about and separate themselves over.

 

[Andre3000]

Certainly you can agree that love can overcome religious differences, right? If it is truly love, then why should it matter what religion the other member is? And marriage should certainly not be made within the faith because it is "convenient." I mean seriously, if Christianity is about love, then why put limitations on who you can love? It seems kind of ironic to me.

 

[seebs]

Well, let's take a concrete example.

Imagine a marriage between a fundamentalist Christian, who believes that anyone who does not accept Jesus as savior goes to Hell for all of eternity, and a fundamentalist Muslim, who believes that anyone who worships Jesus, instead of thinking of Jesus as a prophet, will go to Hell for all of eternity.

Wouldn't you think that might create just a little stress in the relationship?

 

[Svt4Him]

Well, I believe if someone is Christian, then they should marry another Christian for a few reasons. First off is to have a common foundation for their life. If I feel a call to go to missions for a year, and my wife doesn't believe in God therefore feels no need to go, where would that lead? Second is because it's easier to pull someone down than to bring someone up. And finally the Bible uses the term unequally yoked for a reason. If you yoke two animals with different purposes, or going in two different directions, both become very ineffective.

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

2 words:

Spiritual Warfare!

 

[dnich163]

I have a question that has always bothered me. It may be a bit of a generalization but why are Christians strongly encouraged to marry within Chistianity, perhaps more specifically, why are Christians of each sect strongly encouraged only to marry within their respective sect?

I think it is about faith as you state...for example the faith you have in the person you are marrying, the faith or belief that you have in yourself in making a commitment to love someone.....or does it not really mean so much?

David

 

[Palatka44]

I have been happily married for 24 years. Before I married my beloved I did date several people. Some were church goers, some were Christians, some were not Baptist and some were unbelievers. I had always made a point to ask my date to go to Church with me, either hers or where I attended. I tried to do this with every date. If she did not go on the first date it was ok but after about the third and still no Church time I generaly felt that she was not what God had planned for me.
Then came my Pinky.
She attended Church when I did and never said no to a date.
However she was Church of Christ and I was/am Baptist. When I found out that she was baptized Baptist and only attended Church of Christ because her mother did after her mom and dad had split, I heard wedding bells.

 

[theseed]

1) The bible tells us that believers should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, like 2 mules pulling in opposite directions.

2) According to my studies in psychology, if a couple is serious about thier religious beliefs, and their beliefs are different, then in the long run, there will be a compatiblity time bomb.

3)Christians believe that Christ is the only way to salvation (John 14.6; Acts 4.12); and they are called to make disciples and be a witness to the truth, these beliefs would not be compatible with any inclusive or exclusive religious beliefs.

 

[Andre3000]

So in conclusion, love has religious boundaries? I find that hard to believe if you truly know what love is.

In a way it is the same thing as not being able to marry a Republican if you are a Democrat, or not being able to marry a poor man if you are a rich woman. Obviously theology can be much more powerful, but they all fall into the same category.

2) According to my studies in psychology, if a couple is serious about thier religious beliefs, and their beliefs are different, then in the long run, there will be a compatiblity time bomb.

Not necessarily. You should meet my wonderful fiancee.

I find it unfortunate that Christianity imposes restrictions on love. Essentially, you can never know what love is if you keep yourself from it.

 

[theseed]

So in conclusion, love has religious boundaries? I find that hard to believe if you truly know what love is. . . I find it unfortunate that Christianity imposes restrictions on love. Essentially, you can never know what love is if you keep yourself from it.

Absolutely, you can't.
1 John 3:16
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.

 

[theseed]

Certainly you can agree that love can overcome religious differences, right? If it is truly love, then why should it matter what religion the other member is? And marriage should certainly not be made within the faith because it is "convenient." I mean seriously, if Christianity is about love, then why put limitations on who you can love? It seems kind of ironic to me.

We don't put limitations on who we love, only those we marry. There are 3 different kinds of love in the bible, and we are told to use agape love for God and others, not eros.

 

[ufonium2]

So in conclusion, love has religious boundaries? I find that hard to believe if you truly know what love is.

In a way it is the same thing as not being able to marry a Republican if you are a Democrat, or not being able to marry a poor man if you are a rich woman. Obviously theology can be much more powerful, but they all fall into the same category.

My (atheist) ex tried this exact same logic with me. The problem is that religion is not just a personality trait like political affiliation, even a "more powerful" one. I am Republican and feel strongly about it, but there's no way I would die for it. I would die for Christianity without a second thought.

You find it hard to believe we know what love is, but I'm not sure you truly know what faith is. I would marry a Democrat, a "morning person," or someone who didn't watch The Simpsons, because I believe that love can and does overcome stuff like that. In fact, I could even imagine raising kids to be Democrats or learning to be happier in the mornings. I could never bend my faith or raise children to be anything but Christian. It's not negotiable, that's the difference.

 

[wonderbread7]

I have found that most people today have a false concept of love. Love is the sacrifice of one's self for the sake of another. I would hope that in this you would look to Glorify God. To do these things it would be necessary to be in love with another Christian so that they would share that same belief and truly understand what it means. To marry outside of Christianity, to my knowledge, would make that very difficult to do. This among many other things has comfirmed my belief that one should marry inside Christianity. As for marrying someone of the same denomination, i think that is more of people just being able to relate to one another and get down to the specifics in their beliefs and in that their might be less conflict.

 

[Andre3000]

We don't put limitations on who we love, only those we marry. There are 3 different kinds of love in the bible, and we are told to use agape love for God and others, not eros.

Can you cite specific examples to support this statement, the three different kinds of love being agape (agapao), eros, and phileo? I just want to make sure that I understand each of their differences in relation to the Bible.

 

[ilovethelord]

bible says

 

[theseed]

Can you cite specific examples to support this statement, the three different kinds of love being agape (agapao), eros, and phileo? I just want to make sure that I understand each of their differences in relation to the Bible.

eros is romantic love
Agape is sacrificial love (altruism)
Phileo is brotherly love

Luke 6
Love for Enemies

27"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. 30Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31Do to others as you would have them do to you.
32"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. 33And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. 34And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. 35But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful

John 13
35By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."


agape; (strong's concordance #25) is mentioned in both both these passages. This is also mentioned in 1 John 3.16 which I cited earlier. Eros is not found in the New Testament, but only in the Old Testament.

You can read more on this link
http://www.christiancourier.com/archives/agape.htm

 

[seebs]

If love had no boundaries, would there be a divorce rate?

The fact is, differences on issues like this will affect how people live their lives, and major differences could be a major source of friction.

If one of you wants to save up to send the kids to college, and the other doesn't want kids going anywhere near colleges, then you have a problem.