Why Marry Within the Faith?

[A Brethren IN CHRIST]

1) The bible tells us that believers should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, like 2 mules pulling in opposite directions.

2) According to my studies in psychology, if a couple is serious about thier religious beliefs, and their beliefs are different, then in the long run, there will be a compatiblity time bomb.

3)Christians believe that Christ is the only way to salvation (John 14.6; Acts 4.12); and they are called to make disciples and be a witness to the truth, these beliefs would not be compatible with any inclusive or exclusive religious beliefs.

good post

like to add something my paster said

marry someone that wants to grow in the faith

wanting to mature spiritually

 

[Andre3000]

If love had no boundaries, would there be a divorce rate?

The reason that there is a divorce rate is simple: the people involved had no or very little clue in regards to what love means. I am becoming more and more convinced that people simply do not understand what love truly is. Like you said, of course there would be differences. But since when can simple differences destroy true love? The answer is never, you just have to know what love is. And unfortunately love is not something you can learn from a book, be told by someone else, or learn by sitting in a building once a week.

And theseed, thank you for the link. I can honestly say that I agree with everything in "The Character of Love." It's a pleasant parallel of the Dhammapada.

 

[klewlis]

It really comes down to a worldview issue. The Christian worldview is so drastically different from any other that it becomes incompatible. Just a few of the things that could cause major problems in a marriage:

- I believe that God is in charge of my life, and therefore, what he tells me to do, I will do. What if God asks me to do some specific thing with my life, and my spouse will not support it because he doesn't recognize God's leading? Then I have to disobey God in order to maintain relationship with my spouse. Not good.

- I believe that God wants me to raise my children to follow him. What if my spouse is against this? How can our children be raised in the way I think is right if one parent disagrees?

- I believe that all things in life must be dealt with through prayer and the Christian community. If my spouse is not a Christian, I lose the most vital prayer partner I could ever have. Who will support me if my faith wavers? Who will help me make the tough decisions when it comes to God's will for us and our family? I would end up turning to outside people for support and advice, instead of to my spouse. Again, not good.

- How will we cope with things like death and sickness? Our worldviews again preclude us from agreeing, or from fully being able to support each other emotionally and *spiritually*, which is vital for me.

- What about finances? I want to give money to my church and to Christian causes. What if my spouse doesn't?

- Most importantly, we would be missing the spiritual bond which is the sweetest thing God ever invented for human relationships. There is nothing better than being connected with someone emotionally, physically, intellectually, AND spiritually. This means that a non-Christian would make a second-rate spouse for me compared to a Christian, with whom I could share *everything*.

As for marrying a Christian from a different denomination, that is much less of a problem since one person can easily switch. The only hindrance there is that many of us are attached to our specific congregation--emotionally, spiritually, socially, etc--so a switch would be tough. But it would be worth it for the right guy.

 

[Shekinahs]

People make those choices mainly because some feel that marrying within the same denomination keeps from having confusion down the road. And when children are born there can be some disagreements on what is best for the child. If a parent feels that sprinkling a baby is a baptism and the other parent feels the child needs to be old enough to make up their own mind and needs an immersion for baptism then there may be some disagreements about if their two year old has been baptized. Some couples make it work being different denominations or even differnt faiths. It all depends on what is important to you.

 

[A Brethren IN CHRIST]

more convinced that people simply do not understand what love truly is. Like you said, of course there would be differences. But since when can simple differences destroy true love? The answer is never, you just have to know what love is. And unfortunately love is not something you can learn from a book, be told by someone else, or learn by sitting in a building once a week.

.

\

Bible describes it very well

God love us when he died on the cross..romans 5:8
parents love children when the spank them ....hebrews 12:3-11
the brethren sacrificeing from themself to help another brother 1 john 4:16-18

love is not by word but by action and in truth 1 john 4:18

 

[seebs]

The reason that there is a divorce rate is simple: the people involved had no or very little clue in regards to what love means.

I wholeheartedly agree with this.

I am becoming more and more convinced that people simply do not understand what love truly is.

You're probably right.

However, I would like to warn you: About 90% of the people who have had this revelation have also, within twenty years, come to believe that they, too, didn't understand it.

Like you said, of course there would be differences. But since when can simple differences destroy true love?

They can't. But so what? They don't make a life with someone who can't accept your needs or goals palatable.

Let's just try a few examples out.

Let's say your future wife changes religions, and declares that her new religion requires her to engage in ritual sex with a lot of strangers, several nights a week. Do you feel this might potentially have effects on your relationship?

What if she declares that the time has come to sell all of your shared worldly possessions, including your house, and give the kids up for adoption, so you can pursue her dream of missionary work in the Congo?

Can you see how religious beliefs could compel one partner in a relationship to do things which the other partner might, if he didn't share those beliefs, find difficult or impossible to accept?

How long do you think you could be happy living with, and loving, someone if you were TOTALLY SURE that, when she died, she would spend all of eternity burning alive at the hands of the God you worship? Most people wouldn't be able to take that.

 

[theseed]

But since when can simple differences destroy true love?

Religion is not a simple differene, and especially, there is nothing simple when it comes to practicing Christianitiy.

 

[theseed]

Yes, the differences would be huge. Christianity is not somehting that you practice on the side for fun, it is a whole way of life.

 

[peaches777]

I think most people marry in the faith because, you're more likely to have peace at home. You will both believe in the same thing. I don't think you have to marry someone in the same faith, but it would probably just be a lot easier.

Peaches

 

[Andre3000]

Bible describes [love] very well

God love us when he died on the cross..romans 5:8
parents love children when the spank them ....hebrews 12:3-11
the brethren sacrificeing from themself to help another brother 1 john 4:16-18

love is not by word but by action and in truth 1 john 4:18

I read over all of your examples, but there is no description of love. The closest the author of the Bible comes to describing love is that love is not fear. I don't understand how you can say the Bible describes love very well, when it hardly mentions what love is at all.

Religion is not a simple difference, and especially, there is nothing simple when it comes to practicing Christianitiy.

I totally agree with you that practicing Christianity, like any other religion, is not simple, but the concept of religion as a difference between people certainly is simple. I have no beef with people who are of a different belief system than myself; I treat them as I would treat anyone else. But I'm sure most people have a different belief system than myself, and that is the simple difference.

How long do you think you could be happy living with, and loving, someone if you were TOTALLY SURE that, when she died, she would spend all of eternity burning alive at the hands of the God you worship? Most people wouldn't be able to take that.

This is one of the reasons why I am atheist. Religion prohibits believers from truly understanding love because of what this quote describes.

 

[klewlis]

Is everyone forgetting 1 Corinthians 13 in our definitions of love? I have never seen a better description in my life.

 

[klewlis]

ps: hell has absolutely no effect whatsoever on my understanding of love, except perhaps in the opposite sense from what you think--the knowledge of hell causes me to love more, and to understand mercy and compassion more.

 

[theseed]

Is everyone forgetting 1 Corinthians 13 in our definitions of love? I have never seen a better description in my life.

1 Corinthians 13


Love

1If I speak in the tongues[1] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[2] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

 

[Andre3000]

Ah yes, I was waiting for someone to put up the description of love. In my mind it proves to me even more that love is not accurately reflected in Christianity. The fact that the Bible was able to give a textual description of the concept of love means that whoever wrote it (in this case the apostle), really did not know what love means and therefore, love has not been taught correctly in the religion. But that's just my opinion.

 

[theseed]

Ah yes, I was waiting for someone to put up the description of love. In my mind it proves to me even more that love is not accurately reflected in Christianity. The fact that the Bible was able to give a textual description of the concept of love means that whoever wrote it (in this case the apostle), really did not know what love means and therefore, love has not been taught correctly in the religion. But that's just my opinion.

So you don't consider sacrifice for some else to be love? You think sexual love is true love?

 

[Andre3000]

I don't recall saying that (maybe I'm mistaken). Can you post a quote from me saying something to the like?

 

[klewlis]

Ah yes, I was waiting for someone to put up the description of love. In my mind it proves to me even more that love is not accurately reflected in Christianity. The fact that the Bible was able to give a textual description of the concept of love means that whoever wrote it (in this case the apostle), really did not know what love means and therefore, love has not been taught correctly in the religion. But that's just my opinion.

hm... apparently your concept of love is not one that I have ever encountered before... and it must run against all previous human experience, since the biblical description also resounds in all of the great love stories I've ever read.

 

[seebs]

Ah yes, I was waiting for someone to put up the description of love. In my mind it proves to me even more that love is not accurately reflected in Christianity. The fact that the Bible was able to give a textual description of the concept of love means that whoever wrote it (in this case the apostle), really did not know what love means and therefore, love has not been taught correctly in the religion. But that's just my opinion.

Well, first off, I think you might do better to think of it as "charity" rather than as "love"; the word "love" has romantic connotations which don't fit.

Secondly... The description, while obviously incomplete, is better than any other I've yet seen. Care to improve on it?

 

[A Brethren IN CHRIST]

there are three forms of love in the scripture
agape.....comes from god
philo....brotherly love
thelo....not sure of? sorry

 

[klewlis]

there are three forms of love in the scripture
agape.....comes from god
philo....brotherly love
thelo....not sure of? sorry

The second word is "phileo".

"thelo" in greek means "I wish" or "I will", and has nothing to do with love.