Why Marry Within the Faith?

[seebs]

This is one of the reasons why I am atheist. Religion prohibits believers from truly understanding love because of what this quote describes.

It seems to me that you have rather completely missed the point here. If nothing else, you're committing the famous fallacy of believing something because you don't like the implications of the alternatives. That's hardly rational!

If I really believe that my kids will be hit by a car if they run out into the street, and because of this I don't let them, that's not a lack of love.

Religion is not "prohibiting" anyone from truly understanding love, and furthermore, keep in mind that this was merely one example of a religious belief. Many religions do not hold such beliefs; nonetheless, differing beliefs about cosmology may create barriers to close relationships.

Honestly, it seems to me that your view of "love" is very simplistic, and does not take into account the way in which people actually interact with each other. I think you are expressing a great deal of arrogance in casually dismissing everyone else's understanding of the word "love", and I don't see you offering a meaningful definition of your own...

It doesn't seem to me that you have a real question about Christianity here; you just want to preach some version of "love conquers all", which sounds very much like the stuff I came up with when I first started thinking about love. It turns out that love does conquer all, but not in the ways I first expected.

 

[Andre3000]

It doesn't seem to me that you have a real question about Christianity here; you just want to preach some version of "love conquers all", which sounds very much like the stuff I came up with when I first started thinking about love. It turns out that love does conquer all, but not in the ways I first expected.

I believe my question was why are Christians required* to marry within their respective sect, and how Christians view love because of this requirement*.

**Please note that the term "required" is used loosely because I understand that this is not always the case.

The Christian interpretation of love is a natural derivitive of my question. To ignore it would be to not answer my question.

Honestly, it seems to me that your view of "love" is very simplistic, and does not take into account the way in which people actually interact with each other. I think you are expressing a great deal of arrogance in casually dismissing everyone else's understanding of the word "love", and I don't see you offering a meaningful definition of your own...

I'm not dismissing anyones beliefs in regards to love. I truly do believe that what you have explained is how you view love, and honestly it has all been very helpful. You may have been trying for the opposite effect, but the truth is that I feel more in tune with what I believe is love. And for you to call that arrogant is pure ignorance.

Well, first off, I think you might do better to think of it as "charity" rather than as "love"; the word "love" has romantic connotations which don't fit.

You're right, in average speech, there are romantic connotations to the term "love." Understand that I have no romantic intentions when I say "love." But I do not think that "charity" would accurately describe what I believe to be love either.

Some of you have asked me to give a definition to love, and I simply cannot. There's no way I could possible tell you how I view love. Even if I could put it into words, there would be no way for me to just come up with it on the spot as you requested. Sorry if I've confused people and thanks for participating in my question.

 

[Jesusfreak200284]

Just because you cannt marry someone, doesn't mean that there are resrictions on love. God gave us the Bible to instruct us on how to live life, because father knows best. He not give us the Bible to be a cosmic killjoy. We are still called to love others as ourselves.

 

[klewlis]

Even if you consider that our love has been restricted, those restrictions aren't necessarily a bad thing. To use Chesterton's example:

There is a small island with steep cliffs dropping to the sea. There is a school on the island. If there are walls around them, the children are free to play, jump, tumble, run, be as wild as they like, without ever a thought of falling into the sea. But as soon as you remove the walls, they suddenly lose all of that freedom and are relegated to staying as close to the school and as far from the edges as possible. Their carefree play is lost.

Walls are good when they protect you from harm.

(of course he said it a whole lot better than I did

 

[seebs]

The Christian interpretation of love is a natural derivitive of my question. To ignore it would be to not answer my question.

Fair enough.

I'm not dismissing anyones beliefs in regards to love. I truly do believe that what you have explained is how you view love, and honestly it has all been very helpful. You may have been trying for the opposite effect, but the truth is that I feel more in tune with what I believe is love. And for you to call that arrogant is pure ignorance.

When you say that you have the true understanding, and that everyone else does not, that is indeed arrogant.

You're right, in average speech, there are romantic connotations to the term "love." Understand that I have no romantic intentions when I say "love." But I do not think that "charity" would accurately describe what I believe to be love either.

But it does describe the thing described in 1 Cor 13 better.

Furthermore, a question about marriage does rather imply romantic love.

Some of you have asked me to give a definition to love, and I simply cannot. There's no way I could possible tell you how I view love. Even if I could put it into words, there would be no way for me to just come up with it on the spot as you requested. Sorry if I've confused people and thanks for participating in my question.

Well, then, I think it's a little weird for you to say that other definitions are wrong or incomplete; they may well be incomplete, but my guess is that yours would be too; in short, incompleteness doesn't argue against the accuracy of the description, only its completeness.

I don't think you've made a case that Christian understanding of love is wrong, incomplete, or whatever...

 

[BarbB]

Some of you have asked me to give a definition to love, and I simply cannot. There's no way I could possible tell you how I view love. Even if I could put it into words, there would be no way for me to just come up with it on the spot as you requested. Sorry if I've confused people and thanks for participating in my question.

Why tell us that we do not know what love is, if you cannot provide your definition of love for us?

 

[Andre3000]

The fact that restrictions are placed on love demonstrates (to me at least) that the concept of love is flawed.

 

[seebs]

The fact that restrictions are placed on love demonstrates (to me at least) that the concept of love is flawed.

No restrictions are placed on love.

Practical advice is given as to when a marriage might be hard to work out.

That's not a restriction on love.

 

[PRMan]

I think what people are trying to say is that if I were to marry a non-Christian, it is impossible to love both that person and God.

If God wants me to do something that my spouse does not, I have a problem. One of the two will be disobeyed and will not feel loved by me (it would be the spouse BTW, because I trust God to do what's best for both of us, regardless of how she feels about it). Because of my complete trust in God, my spouse will likely divorce me at some point, which may in turn be better for my relationship with God and my heavenly reward, but really bad for my marriage. The Bible allows this divorce.

Let's say I chose the opposite. So now, my wife is happy but I am further and further from God. I'm sure this is fine for you, since you are an atheist, but I just couldn't do that.

If you look at it from that perspective, you might come to the conclusion that it would be better not to marry than to marry a non-believer. The Bible says this as well.

Look at the bright side, you are an atheist and you don't have to worry about it. You won't be converted by your Christian soon-to-be wife, will you? What if she prays for you every day? Witnesses to you every day? Takes your children to church every week? Points them to www.answersingenesis.com for their scientific studies? It's fine, right?