Why is marriage incompatible in order to have a life dedicated to God?

[carolina16]

If both have the same call and do not have children, they can devote all their time to work for the Lord, right? Is there a reason why marriage makes it impossible to dedicate full time to God?

 

[Ken Rank]

If both have the same call and do not have children, they can devote all their time to work for the Lord, right? Is there a reason why marriage makes it impossible to dedicate full time to God?

I would (respectfully) suggest that if they are married and do not have the same calling that one of them isn't listening to God. When two come together because it is God's will for them to be together, He isn't going to take them in 2 directions like that. Also... our families are a picture of our relationship to God. Thus, in a round about way, our families are teaching tools that God uses to reveal the depth of relationship He desires for us with Him.

 

[Dave-W]

It isn't. Whoever told you it was is not being truthful.

 

[Paidiske]

I would say that when you have young children, it is - if not impossible, certainly very difficult - for both spouses to work full-time besides raising children. Now, if you see raising children as part of your vocation, then that's not a problem. But if you don't, then there are definitely questions to resolve about how marriage and the possibility of children fits within the bigger picture of your life.

 

[Dave-W]

I would say that when you have young children, it is - if not impossible, certainly very difficult - for both spouses to work full-time besides raising children. Now, if you see raising children as part of your vocation, then that's not a problem. But if you don't, then there are definitely questions to resolve about how marriage and the possibility of children fits within the bigger picture of your life.

TO that I would say that if God gives you children, then children ARE part of your calling, if not the MAIN part. Raising up children who are faithful to the LORD is very important in Both testaments.

 

[FireDragon76]

If both have the same call and do not have children, they can devote all their time to work for the Lord, right? Is there a reason why marriage makes it impossible to dedicate full time to God?

Often times, this attitude comes from a false or misleading view of transcendence. God is not found outside of ordinary life, but is situated within life itself. Likewise, "working for the Lord" need not be seen as a religious work.

 

[Paidiske]

TO that I would say that if God gives you children, then children ARE part of your calling, if not the MAIN part. Raising up children who are faithful to the LORD is very important in Both testaments.

My point is that (barring accidents) one can choose whether or not to have children. And that this is the bigger question in terms of vocation than marriage, in and of itself.

 

[~Anastasia~]

One can be called to marriage, or called to remain single. One can be dedicated to God in either case. It is much harder if one misses one's calling and tries to take the opposite path, which God did not form that person for. (However, He can still give grace and redeem our mistakes but we must cooperate even more closely with Him in order to do well in that case.)

Other than that, the question seems to make certain assumptions about a life dedicated to God.

One can become a monastic, unmarried, devoting all time and energy to God in the context of a community (or rarely, alone). That is often called "the angelic life" because like the angels, they are freed from cares regarding carnal relations and also don't have to consider a spouse within their decisions.

But married persons are just as legitimately able to live lives devoted to God. Service to and love for the spouse, putting their greater good over one's own desires, is a form of sacrifice and agape-love, making us like Christ. Raising up children in the Lord (whether natural or spiritual) is one of the highest callings. Everything we do in life or work can be done unto the Lord. Ideally we would strive to do this, whether married or single.

In some ways it's easier for singles. But they have particular challenges too. Just different ones.

 

[carolina16]

Often times, this attitude comes from a false or misleading view of transcendence. God is not found outside of ordinary life, but is situated within life itself. Likewise, "working for the Lord" need not be seen as a religious work.

Its simple. If you dedicate a lot of time for the children, then you lost a lot work for God. Its a decision before marriage.

 

[carolina16]

It isn't. Whoever told you it was is not being truthful.

Im posting this after reading this:
1 Corinthians 7:7
"I wish everything were as I am. But each one has his own gift from God, one from one type and another from another.
I tell singles and widows it's good that they're still single, like me. 9 But if they can not exercise self-control, they must marry. Well, it's better to get married than to burn with passion."

He says that if it is not for the danger of sexual sin, it is better not to marry. And I'm surprised. I find it strange that it doesn´t include a the type of person too who can not live alone all his life, without physical-psychic affection.
I dont know why he exposed emphatically that is better to be single than married.

 

[JackRT]

Its simple. If you dedicate a lot of time for the children, then you lost a lot work for God. Its a decision before marriage.

If you dedicate a lot of time for the children, then you are working for God.

 

[carolina16]

[QUOTE = "JackRT, post: 73281570, miembro: 381486"] Si dedicas mucho tiempo a los niños, entonces estás trabajando para Dios. [/ QUOTE]
Only if the children was His purporse. People have children (in general) because they choose that way.

 

[JackRT]

[QUOTE = "JackRT, post: 73281570, miembro: 381486"] Si dedicas mucho tiempo a los niños, entonces estás trabajando para Dios. [/ QUOTE]
Only if the children was His purporse. People have children (in general) because they choose that way.

If you are going to quote me, at least quote me in the language I speak. I suspect that your quote is a translation of my post but I cannot verify that because I cannot speak Spanish. This verges on the rude.

 

[blackribbon]

I would say that it similar to why I do not pursue hospice nursing while my children still live at home with me. Even though they are young adults and do not need me to care for them like when they were younger, I do recognize that they still need me when they need me...even if it is only to give them a hug when they are frustrated by life or dealing with a difficult decision in their life. I know that when I am working with patients that need me, and they will need me in a much bigger way when they are dying (to help support their loved ones as well as the dying person) it affects me. I want to be able to stay with the patient based on my assessment of the situation (even if it is "off the clock") and I can't do that if my own children need me to provide support for them. Simply put, I can't be in two places at the same time. The same goes for marriage. My husband needed me with him when he was dying. If I had a ministries outside of my my family, I would have had to neglect either my husband or my ministry during that time. I did have to neglect many roles that I did do, as it was. My mother came and was the primary caregiver for our two small children so I could go with him and stay with him at the hospital as the needs arose. I stopped being the leader for my girls scout troop and my leadership role in the Cub Scout troop. I sort of disappeared from life as my role of "wife" became my primary calling for that period of time. I believe that when we marry, we start to divide our time and have to allocate what parts of our 24 hrs and what part of our mind is going to be given to our family and what is given to our outside activities. A single person does not have to make this sort of decision. Their time is theirs to dedicate to other people and any ministry that God calls them to. They don't have to check in or weight what their family is losing out on by you spending your time somewhere else.

Even if a married couple is involved in the same ministries, there will come times when one spouse has needs that require allocating time, energy, and resources away from that calling and turned toward investing in the marriage relationship. When you are married, you do have a calling to serve God through focusing on your marriage and stepping away from other pulls on your time, even when that pull is a godly pursuit.

 

[JackRT]

Nursing in a hospice is a wonderful Christian vocation but is incredibly demanding and stressful. When my sister died in a hospice in 1999 the head of nursing told me that most of her nurses burn out within 6 months to 2 years.

 

[blackribbon]

Nursing in a hospice is a wonderful Christian vocation but is incredibly demanding and stressful. When my sister died in a hospice in 1999 the head of nursing told me that most of her nurses burn out within 6 months to 2 years.

I feel like it is a calling, like nursing is. However, I do not get to (nor do I want to) sacrifice my own family for this calling. It needs to be for a time when my time belongs to me again.

I actually felt the same way about being a Cub Scout leader. I put a lot more than "1 hour a week" into our den meetings. We focused on leadership, manhood, independence, and honoring God as we played and had fun. The core set of boys that I had from Tigers through crossing into Boy Scouts still hold my heart as they are now young men. My heart hurts for one boy whom I feel was completely betrayed by the "godly" leaders he got in Boy Scout who were more focused on him needing to be the perfect Christian boy than recognizing that his earthly father wasn't a Christian and he needed Christian men to love him and demonstrate Christ's love rather than punish him when he didn't behave the way they wanted him to behave.

 

[JackRT]

I feel like it is a calling, like nursing is. However, I do not get to (nor do I want to) sacrifice my own family for this calling. It needs to be for a time when my time belongs to me again.

That is most wise.

 

[carolina16]

Even if a married couple is involved in the same ministries, there will come times when one spouse has needs that require allocating time, energy, and resources away from that calling and turned toward investing in the marriage relationship.

Thank you .

 

[carolina16]

If you are going to quote me, at least quote me in the language I speak. I suspect that your quote is a translation of my post but I cannot verify that because I cannot speak Spanish. This verges on the rude.

Sorry, it was a error from the translator.
This was the replied: only if the children was His purpose. People have children (in general) because they choose that way.

 

[blackribbon]

Actually children can happen if two people have sex and are even slightly fertile. I know a woman who got baby number 4 with an IUD on her part and a vasectomy on her husband. (That is a baby very much intended by God). Children can show up in a marriage where they aren't planned but children are found that need parents. I know a woman who never intended on having kids...but then her best friend died in a car accident and she suddenly became the mother to a 4 year old boy and two years later, the foster system (that was over her adoption of her friend's child) asked if she could take care of a 9 month old girl as a temporary emergency basis. She is now the proud mother to two delightful happy children.