Why is it?

[beetlequeendiva]

Why is it that it takes you to feel really ill to realise what you're actually doing to your body? I am so ill tonight and it's entirely my own fault - and a huge part of me just doesn't care anymore. I ate ice-cream and then took quite alot of laxitives and now I fell ill....... I'm so stupid as well as fat!!! Isn't it great?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Sorry I'm not doing so good today

 

[meandonlyme]

life is worth so much more but we dont see it all the time.
i have been ill for along time aswell i still am but i know now life is about living and not trying to hurry to die. the pain we feel is from ourselfs and it hurts and we hate it , but we look back and know its ourself that gives it. please dont give your self pain any longer let your pain go and let His love into your heart.

 

[butterfly33]

hey honey!
I know how it feels to make yourself sick before you realise what you're actually doing. Someone once told me that sometimes God lets us hit rock bottom so that:

1. we will have no other source to turn to but him to make us better
2. we can know the consequenses of our sins
3. when we do get better, we can appreciate what God has done for us and strengthen our faith

Its like falling off a boat in the middle of the ocean.
after sinking and sinking you've finally hit the sand.
Now you've finally hit the sand you have something to push off from and head for the surface!

Use this experience as the "sand" and start swimming for the "surface". There is NOTHING stopping you, because ANYTHING is possible with GOD.

I hit rock bottom a couple of weeks ago and I used it to start coming back to God and fix my problem (I binge eat). I'm slowly but surely getting better, and I haven't even had counselling! Every positive step I take gives me strength...just keep taking them and they add up to a whole lot of positive steps...Trust in God! Just think of the encouragement you can give to people when you do get through this!

*hugs*
butterfly33

 

[beetlequeendiva]

butterfly - thank you for your kind message!!!

 

[James4210]

Dear beetlequeendiva
I know how hard it is when I am trapped in a cycle of binge eating and sympathise with you. I'm reading a book at the moment by Julian of Norwich, called revelations of divine love. Written in the 14 century it is the first ever recorded work by a woman. Here are some quotes from the book which struck a cord with me.

"sin is the sharpest scourge without any chosen soul can be struck with: it is a scourge which lashes men and women so hard and batters them and destroys them so completely in their own eyes, that they think they only deserve to sink down into hell. But when the touch of the holy gost brings contrition, which turned the bitterness into hell of God's mercy: and then they are willing to begin to heal and the soul begins to revive into the life of the holy church."

And she goes on to write
"and so all shame will be turned into glory and into greater joy. And I am sure, by what I feel myself that the more every well natured soul to sees this in the kind and generous love of God, the more loath he or she is to sin."

Another point she strongly makes is that God loves us just as much when we are struggling with sin, suffering mentally or physically as when we are filled with the holy spirit. I personally think that the challenge that faces everyone with eating disorders is to believe that God loves us despite how wretched, disgusted and annoyed with ourselves we are. It is the nature of the devil to make us believe by illusion and trickery that there is no hope. I know just hearing this is not enough but I urge you start believing and regrow your faith and hopefulness. Just like planting a seed it takes a little time just trust in God and know that it will happen.

God bless, you are in my prayers

 

[WhereareyouGod?]

*Hugs My Beautiful Diva*

Hunni I care about you sooo much i am here whenever hun, i am nearly always on MSN lol

Love You

Lizzie

 

[beetlequeendiva]

thanks lizzie - really is appreciated xxxxx hugs to you xxx

 

[luvofhorses]

Well I can relate! Though I am only just learning what I do to myself. I eat all the foods I'm not suppose to have, ones that are food intolerances etc.. I keep eating them until I litterally feel ill, may take a week or more. Then my body starts screaming at me to stop.

I get pain in my back that wakes me up at night. My aniexty level goes higher. I get really emotional. And the list goes on.

I am that place right now. Today I will try and eat right. I hope the doctor I am seeing on Thursday will be able to help me with my eating problem as well.

 

[WhereareyouGod?]

thanks lizzie - really is appreciated xxxxx hugs to you xxx

Any time hunni

 

[beetlequeendiva]

I don't know why but this whole ED thing makes me so sad - I just really don't understand it - I mean I have low-self esteem but I'm not sure why that makes me feel that I have to throw up......

 

[WhereareyouGod?]

minds can make us do very very strange things hun, i don't think anyone understands the reason behind ED's really

Love you!

Loadsa hugs

Lizzie

 

[beetlequeendiva]

See I think if I had a reason behind it then it would help - then I could work on the reason

love you too Lizzie

 

[WhereareyouGod?]

If only we could all work out the reasons behind it lol then none of us would have a problem and we could get on and fix it lol one day we will beat this.

Love you

Lizzie

 

[beetlequeendiva]

I know one day we'll beat this but you know sometimes i don't even think i have a problem and then other days i know that i do - it's like i'm in 2 minds!!! It's frustrating.

love you xx

 

[WhereareyouGod?]

Know exactly what you mean lol