Why is being in a relationship so important?

[MacFall]

I was meaning in general, singles are grumpy people a lot

I guess I sorta proved you right, didn't I?

I'm actually usually a pretty cheerful guy, though. I just have my dumpy moments.

 

[Rhye]

Blind post.

I know you mean romantic relationship, but I think being in any kind of relationship is important. I think its important because we build trust and love with people. We also learn about ourselves just as much as if we were alone. I think people need balance in that. To have space but also create bounds with others so that they don't feel alone all the time. The kind of relationships we build and how we foster them is very important to our health and well being, I think.

 

[.Nevermore.]

I'm actually usually a pretty cheerful guy, though. I just have my dumpy moments.

The best of us do!

 

[anewday]

Blind post.

I know you mean romantic relationship, but I think being in any kind of relationship is important. I think its important because we build trust and love with people. We also learn about ourselves just as much as if we were alone. I think people need balance in that. To have space but also create bounds with others so that they don't feel alone all the time. The kind of relationships we build and how we foster them is very important to our health and well being, I think.

Nicely worded .

 

[leothelioness]

It used to be important to me, but now I find myself totally opposed to the idea. I don't want to be in a relationship right now (possibly ever). It's nice to not worry over something so trivial.

ETA: I guess I tend to see wanting or needing a man to be in my life as being weak. I want to be as emotionally and physically independant as I possibly can be and I think desiring a relationship would be a detriment to that. Or maybe I'm just way too feminist.

 

[MacFall]

Must be nice to be able to trivialize something that I find so important. Not being sarcastic.

 

[leothelioness]

Are you saying I'm trivializing it?

I'm just saying that for me it is trivial. And it's trivial because it's not important to me and because it's not important to me, I don't waste precious time worrying over it like I used to.

I'm not saying it isn't important to you. Unless you took what I said personally like you did with Nevermore's post.

 

[MacFall]

No, what I said was that it must be nice to trivialize something like that. In other words, to not consider it as important as I do. It would be less of a burden that way.

Why do you think I specified that I wasn't being sarcastic if you were going to take it sarcastically?

 

[Ariadne_GR]

It used to be important to me, but now I find myself totally opposed to the idea. I don't want to be in a relationship right now (possibly ever). It's nice to not worry over something so trivial.

ETA: I guess I tend to see wanting or needing a man to be in my life as being weak. I want to be as emotionally and physically independant as I possibly can be and I think desiring a relationship would be a detriment to that. Or maybe I'm just way too feminist.

I agree, and at my age it would be a detriment to be obsessed with getting into a relationship. I don't think about it, I believe God is leading me down a different path.

I am also fiercely independent, I would be weak to need a man in my life so much that it takes over from everything else. That's just me though, I know not everyone is like that.

 

[leothelioness]

No, what I said was that it must be nice to trivialize something like that. In other words, to not consider it as important as I do. It would be less of a burden that way.

Why do you think I specified that I wasn't being sarcastic if you were going to take it sarcastically?

You'll have to forgive me. My brain is tired from working all day.

Of course, it could have a great deal to do with the fact that I'm so sarcastic myself. lol

 

[leothelioness]

It really helps not wanting to be in a relationship when you know no one would want you anyway. It makes it more painful to want something that would so clearly never happen for you.

 

[Rhye]

It used to be important to me, but now I find myself totally opposed to the idea. I don't want to be in a relationship right now (possibly ever). It's nice to not worry over something so trivial.

ETA: I guess I tend to see wanting or needing a man to be in my life as being weak. I want to be as emotionally and physically independant as I possibly can be and I think desiring a relationship would be a detriment to that. Or maybe I'm just way too feminist.

Maybe that desire will change when you get older?

I think a lot has gone on in your life these couple of years that has made you feel so scared of this stuff.

 

[Im_A]

When I wasn't with my current g/f, I really didn't feel anything that negative about my singleness. I am not a Christian so I didn't see it as an 'opportune' time for god or anything but it was time for me. Time was there to heal from some relationships that went really bad. Got my feet a little wet again with going on dates. Got a social life started that is keeping going and getting better step by step.

Then my current g/f and I started our relationship. Then I realized...let's face it, I still live for me with a g/f. Just now I have someone else to add in, that other person, besides me, my family and friends, is her.

The time I was single for a decent period of time, was honestly what I needed. I heard it quite a few times how I needed a g/f and all. I also hated being alone. Not having anyone to spend needed money on. Not having someone to talk up like the flirt I naturally am and love being. Not having someone that my family and friends like. Seeing it all around me. The list could go on to be honest. But I got a lot more than what I wasn't getting.

So the single life was good for me to say the least. Of course I prefer having a g/f. But there is no reason to downplay being single. If my current relationship ends, knowing how I am now, the single life will be no doubt the same. Relationships are so important because they are something that we all want. To me, there is no reason to belittle relationships to accept the single life. People just need to learn how to deal with being single better is all.

 

[anewday]

People just need to learn how to deal with being single better is all.

And how is one to do this? I struggle with this ALOT .

 

[leothelioness]

Maybe that desire will change when you get older?

Oh, I'm sure it will. Eventually.

I think a lot has gone on in your life these couple of years that has made you feel so scared of this stuff.

Not necessarily scared, just more put off. I just don't want it like I used to.

 

[Rhye]

Oh, I'm sure it will. Eventually.


Not necessarily scared, just more put off. I just don't want it like I used to.

I hope so!

And I hope it gets easier for you. We have been in the same boat for certain things, and I can tell you, there is always, always light. You just need forgiveness and move on.

 

[brohammer26]

I think a lot of this is really social conditioning. Just like living a sinful lifestyle. We are expected to be this and that by a certain time and when you see everyone around you get to 'where they are suppose to be' you feel like you left out in the cold. I personally want to be in a relationship and get married because I have never had a true girlfriend. I have never been in love or have had mutual love. I feel like it is important to experience that in this life even if it doesnt last forever. That and I want kids. I mean I am content being alone, right now probably is not even the best time for me with graduate school and full time work, but I am diff feeling like I am getting 'up there' with just 30 around the corner.

 

[MacFall]

I don't understand your first two sentences. Are you saying that we only desire romantic partnerships because everyone else does? That can't be true. If it were, then the first two people to have a romantic partnership would have had to be an exception, which invalidates the proposition.

 

[Theofane]

Why do singles constantly feel the need to complain about being single? As Christian singles (some of us) shouldn't we be taking this time to strengthen our relationship with the Lord and grow in Him? It frustrates me to see so many people down about being single. Now, I'm not talking about everyone, just a few people that I know. Being single is a blessing in my opinion. Take advantage of it! God is preparing that someone, and it will be worth the wait.



End rant.

You may have what is called "the gift of celibacy" in which case I envy you, sister.

 

[Im_A]

And how is one to do this? I struggle with this ALOT .

Accept what you cannot change, or what you are unwilling to change and use the time for yourself and those that matter to you. That is pretty broad statement so it applies wherever it applies.

There is more to life than romantic love. I think people put a pinnacle on romantic love, as if it is the end of all means. It isn't. What about your blood family? What about your friendships? What about maybe charity? What about maybe your hobbies? What about every other aspect of your life? Aren't those things important enough to put on the same level of romantic love?