Why is being in a relationship so important?

[brohammer26]

I don't understand your first two sentences. Are you saying that we only desire romantic partnerships because everyone else does? That can't be true. If it were, then the first two people to have a romantic partnership would have had to be an exception, which invalidates the proposition.

I was thinking more along the lines of feeling pressured and left out. The feeling of 'need' rather than 'want'. A lot of people have been taught that in order to be happy they 'need' this and that and whatever else. It is just social programming. Of course we have a real desire to want someone else, we just have to question ourselves if it is an authentically based from our heart and emotions, rather than based out of a conditioned nature.

 

[MacFall]

Well that makes sense, although I don't quite agree. I do think that it is a need, even if it's not a matter of life and death. Any desire for a good thing can be expressed as a need. A man on a desert island may survive without the company of other humans, but if he were to say, "I need to see another human being" I would say he would be correct. That's why psychology talks about a hierarchy of needs. Some are more important than others.

 

[Niels]

Companionship and romance are what motivate me to seek a relationship. The idea of family also appeals to me, even if my future wife and I decide against having kids, or are simply too old by the time we find each other.

That said, some feel like they don't have an identity unless they're dating or married. In my opinion, they'd stand to benefit by being a little more self-reliant, and learning about who they are first. That way, they would bring more to their future relationships, and they wouldn't be as precariously dependent on others for their happiness.

 

[anewday]

Companionship and romance are what motivate me to seek a relationship. The idea of family also appeals to me, even if my future wife and I decide against having kids, or are simply too old by the time we find each other.

That said, some feel like they don't have an identity unless they're dating or married. In my opinion, they'd stand to benefit by being a little more self-reliant, and learning about who they are first. That way, they would bring more to their future relationships, and they wouldn't be as precariously dependent on others for their happiness.

Agreed .

 

[Hadassah_]

Companionship and romance are what motivate me to seek a relationship. The idea of family also appeals to me, even if my future wife and I decide against having kids, or are simply too old by the time we find each other.

That said, some feel like they don't have an identity unless they're dating or married. In my opinion, they'd stand to benefit by being a little more self-reliant, and learning about who they are first. That way, they would bring more to their future relationships, and they wouldn't be as precariously dependent on others for their happiness.

I completely agree with this.

I will however add a thought to it.

For me, I enjoy sharing an event with someone. For instance, I play bunko once a month with some girlfriends. Every 8th month we have couples bunko where everyone brings her husband and we all play together. I am the only one not married in the group. I like to bring a date and it's not because I wouldn't have fun by myself or with a girlfriend, but because I enjoy sharing that event with someone I care about.

So far in the 6 times I've gone to couple's bunko I've had one true date, but I will say it was my most memorable. The cute winks across the room, the silly inside jokes...it was wonderful.

I won't be dating anyone (I'm sure) by this years couple's bunko but I'll still go and I'll still have a blast.

 

[.Nevermore.]

You may have what is called "the gift of celibacy" in which case I envy you, sister.

I don't believe that for a moment. Lol While I love being single for the time being, I would love to eventually settle down and start a family. It's just not something I want right now.

 

[bocannes]

Why do singles constantly feel the need to complain about being single? ...

I don't know about "constantly" complaining but there are definitely people that spend too much time lamenting such things.

However, sometimes singles complain legitimately. Sometimes, singles are treated unfairly. There is often little or no understanding for singles who don't hide the fact that they would rather be married or in a relationship. The response is usually the same tired, old advice. Yet, it's a natural desire to want a spouse and it's biblically sound.

 

[darktipper]

I do not envy people in relationships. I get to be that guy that will not be tamed lol.

 

[redblue22]

"I'm a creature of love, and I won't be tamed."
-WASP

Anyway, I don't feel left out. But then I don't really get involved in anything where I would feel left out. Maybe if it was hard to find a date for the theatre, well, maybe. As for church stuff, I'm quite sure I'd feel left out even if I had a family. Church is just that way.

 

[MacFall]

Who says you have to be "tamed" to be in a relationship? Unless you're like a manwhore or something.

 

[darktipper]

No manwhoring lol. It is like playing hard to get lol.

 

[leothelioness]

The idea of domestic slavery does not appeal to me.

(Only half joking)