• Welcome to Christian Forums
  1. Welcome to Christian Forums, a forum to discuss Christianity in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

  2. The forums in the Christian Congregations category are now open only to Christian members. Please review our current Faith Groups list for information on which faith groups are considered to be Christian faiths. Christian members please remember to read the Statement of Purpose threads for each forum within Christian Congregations before posting in the forum.

Featured Why does God love others more than me?

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by Questioning Brother, Jun 11, 2019.

  1. Questioning Brother

    Questioning Brother New Member

    United States
    I am going through a lot of problems now, and to be honest, my faith is failing. One common thing I hear often in replies is how God planned this so I can reach others . If that is so, why does he love them enough to make ME suffer, and hate me enough to keep it in the plan?
    • Prayers Prayers x 5
    • Friendly Friendly x 3
    • List
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. Phoebe Ann

    Phoebe Ann From Mormonism to Christ Supporter

    United States
    I'm so very sorry. I went through some horrible times for several years. When I thought things were getting better, another terrible thing happened. I asked God to let me die instead of facing another painful situation. When I went to bed, I thought "Maybe I won't wake up." That was several years ago. I promise you that my faith is stronger now.

    Don't believe that people you meet aren't facing trouble or haven't in the past or won't in the future.

    Keep asking God to help you endure. And if your church members aren't empathetic, try another one.

    Isaiah 43:2
    When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.

    Hebrews 12:6
    For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

    You may PM me if you want. I'll write your username in my prayer journal and pray for you. I have to go now, but I'll probably check my PMs tomorrow.

  3. Sam91

    Sam91 Child of the Living God Supporter

    United Kingdom
    I have always felt closer to God when suffering because then it is evident that He Strengthens, guides, provides, comforts, shelters and protects. He is faithful.

    I've had many hard times so know what I'm talking about. However, the questions you ask seem to display ways in which your thinking is causing more distress to you in your situation. Trust in Him. He'll be carrying you through this. Take you eyes off the circumstances and onto Him, maybe you might see what He is doing for you in your situation and feel thankful instead.

    I learned more about His goodness when suffering grief (partner and little brother), fleeing my home, financial hardship (different times of my life) than at any other tìme. Seeing His hand in providing for me gave me so much joy and contentment.

    God bless you! I hope things pick up soon and that you feel better.
    • Like Like x 3
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • List
  4. Chris V++

    Chris V++ Mostly Water Supporter

    United States
    Having to suffer thru trials and tribulations doesn't mean that God hates you. Remember the parable of the house being built on a solid foundation? The wind will blow and the rain will fall upon the just and the unjust. Maybe it would help to talk about your specific problems?
  5. NeedyFollower

    NeedyFollower Well-Known Member

    Hello dear brother ...who knows suffering but him who suffers ? Some christians experience suffering and are able to speak from authority...all others can only be philosophers and know not from what they speak ...I am not sure if I would have willing chosen the things I lost when I repented to follow the Lord for they were not things but people very dear to me . It hurts but so does true love . Jesus endured the suffering of the cross for the joy set before him . It is not only given to you to believe on Him , but also to suffer for His name sake. Many are following a "santa claus " Jesus where they get everything they want . I do believe God loves you enough to entrust you with being a partaker of loss and trials so that you may in the future comfort others who may struggle . Gold is purified with fire . Dirt is not . Yes God loves you .
  6. Questioning Brother

    Questioning Brother New Member

    United States
    Phoebe Ann

    Thank you for the prayers, but I am not sure you read more than the title. Your point is well phrased, but not on point to the question.
  7. Mel333

    Mel333 Active Member

    God plays no favourites.
    It may feel like he doesn't care when things are tough. It could be a test of faith time, it could be a bunch of reasons why problems are happening.

    The God I know gave his son Jesus to die for all of us so we may be free from the power of sin and live in grace. This is the love he has for you and for all.

    I'm sorry that you are having a tough time. It can shape us or break us. Sometimes being broken shapes us as well. Whatever the case, all people suffer. Some are just better at hiding it. Problems and suffering are not a measurement of God's love.

    God's love should be measured through his son Christ Jesus who died for us so we may be free from the penalty and punishment and power of sin and the dark side.
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2019
  8. Dave G.

    Dave G. Well-Known Member

    United States
    This is a simple case of not understanding God's love, it doesn't always look like what we dream it should look like. But meanwhile He sent His only begotten Son to earth, incarnate in human flesh to be brutally murdered for you so that you could have eternal life. If He does no other thing ( which is not the case) but you accept His offering then one might think just that would be sufficient considering the alternative.

    God's love can not be measured in human terms, you have no idea how much He loves you but He surely does.
    • Like Like x 2
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • List
  9. Oscarr

    Oscarr Senior Veteran Supporter

    New Zealand
    "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you share in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed at the revelation of His glory" (1 Peter 4:12-13).

    "Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us" (Romans 5:3-5).

    It is not that God loves us any less, but that He loves us with an everlasting love that will not fail. He does not promise a life free of troubles, but He promises to be with us in them.

    "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah" (Psalm 46:1-3).

    That was a verse that God gave me when my first wife deserted me and took our 4 year old daughter with her. I was devastated and it was the worst day in my life, ever. It seemed that Jesus came, put His hand on my shoulder and gave me those verses. He did not insulate me from the grief and hurt, nor did He short-cut the seven storm and stress years after that day until I was healed of the hurts from her actions, difficulties she put in my way of access to my daughter, and the lack of answers my church had for me, other than I could never be married again, which was the most bleak prospect that I could imagine at the time.

    This next reference is how God deals with us:

    "Be anxious for nothing, but by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God, and the peace that passes all understanding will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7).

    When we are going through difficulties and problems, we reach out to God in prayer, and the first thing He does is to settle our hearts with His peace. Then we can go through anything because we have His peace on our hearts. I never wanted to go through a divorce and I cried out to God to prevent it and bring reconciliation. But He gave me peace, and I was able to go through the process and accept the end of my marriage and to have hope that God had a future for me after it. That was 1982, and He gave me a future, a new career, a new family, and restored back all the things I lost in greater abundance. It took nearly 10 years, but it happened.

    It is through faith and patience we inherit the promises of God (Hebrews 6:12).
    • Winner Winner x 3
    • Like Like x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  10. Questioning Brother

    Questioning Brother New Member

    United States
    I don't want authority, I'd rather be a philosopher about it.

    The second part quoted makes me ask how do I get off of the entrusted list.
  11. Oscarr

    Oscarr Senior Veteran Supporter

    New Zealand
    I'm not going to be one of those that would give you a false hope of things getting better if you press the right buttons on the vending machine.

    If you are going through problems and trials and can't see "the light at the end of the tunnel", you are going through the valley of the shadow of death (Psalm 23:4), and I can't say how long you will have to be in that valley. But we are not really going anywhere, are we?

    If you decide to jump ship and abandon the Christian faith, you will be jumping out of the frying pan into the fire (literally!), because that will be a shortcut to hell. I know it is a difficult choice - remain in a situation where you are suffering, or get back on the broad way to hell. So, if God promises to be with you, which choice are you going to make to have Him remain with you?
  12. Richard T

    Richard T Active Member

    United States
    You may have already done this, but I would take a look at the source of your problems. While they could be tests of God, they also could be of your own, or they could be demonic influences. Ask God for wisdom, and share these things with a spiritual leader you can trust and see if you can pinpoint the sources and come up with some plan. Don't think you are alone or have issues that no one else has ever dealt with. That can lead to self-pity and possibly be a source of anger or resentment. Instead, try to maintain and grow in faith. Look to the joy of the Lord as your strength, giving a sacrifice of praise. To me, the source of most issues is a lack of our understanding of how much God loves us or where we are trying to earn our salvation through our actions. God is not in the hate business, though sometimes we perceive things this way. He also does not give burdens that are too great to bear and in fact says that our burdens are light. (Mt 11:30)
    Psalm 34:17-19 (KJV)
    17 The righteous cry, and the LORD heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.
    18 The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
    19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all.
  13. christine40

    christine40 Well-Known Member

    United States
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2019
  14. Michael Collum

    Michael Collum Everything began with a voice, use yours Supporter

    Christian Seeker
    I think this may be similar to the Luke version of the Jesus saying of what it means to be a disciple, in the sense that you gotta hate everyone to be Jesus' disciple, and the Matthew telling of the same story says you need to put everyone second.

    How this connects to you is: you have to become less so Jesus can become more. The main witness is people seeing Jesus through us. I don't like suffering either, but that's part of it.

    I am also reminded of the three temptations of Jesus in the wilderness, who gave Jesus the promise of worldly everything ... and what was the price?
  15. FutureAndAHope

    FutureAndAHope Just me Supporter

    Every Christian will go through a time of suffering. David was chased around the wilderness before he became king. Joseph was sold into slavery, and jailed before he became the ruler second only to Pharaoh. My experience has been of times of suffering leading up to fulfillment of God's promises, in blessing. I don't understand why it happens to us, but God allows it.
  16. Albion

    Albion Facilitator

    Personally, I don't put any stock in that theory that if something awful happens, it is God getting you ready to reach others. He doesn't work that way. But I do want to say, although it may sound unsympathetic, that it seems that every day I hear from someone or other who looks to the outside world to be doing fine but actually is going through some terrible times.

    It is hard, but I do not think you are alone and I don't believe God is using your misfortune for some grand project to come.
  17. The Righterzpen

    The Righterzpen Jesus is my Shield in any Desert or Storm

    United States
    Well, a lot of people say stuff like that because it sounds altruistic and frankly they don't know what else to say.

    It's like when your kid dies and you hear: "Oh, God wanted another little angel in heaven." :scratch::scratch::scratch: Oh really? Well then, take someone else's "little angel".

    Or this one: "All these bad things have happened to you because.... there must be sin in your life." (Well yeah honey; there's sin in yours too!)

    Or: "If you just had more faith, you (or your kid) would be healed." (Honey, you got no idea. Ya actually looking at a modern day Job - so - shut up!)

    And my favorite pet peeve: "Have you prayed about this?" (No.... ya mean I should? That never occurred to me! You're such a sage overflowing with wisdom. Gee, thanks!)


    At the end of the day though; we all want to find some purpose for our pain, because the thought of pointless suffering just doesn't make us feel better. And though sometimes we suffer from our own sin, short sightedness, ignorance, or immaturity; other times, there's no real "logical" reason for what's happened. We live in a fallen world, affected by a lot of factors we are not privy to; and yes there are times that we can't see in the here and now why "event X" happened. Sometimes that answer comes years (or even decades) later. Sometimes it doesn't come in this life.

    So when you say your faith is failing; faith in what? God or the stupid things other people say?

    I've had a very difficult life and often times at the worst times; people who understood and could actually help me were far and few between. I've more often than not found myself pleading to God for help because there wasn't any other place to go. Enough times though, through people who could and would help me; I realized God did actually care.

    Other times, it became very clear to me that I was the subject of direct Divine intervention; even when I was too blind to see it. And the end result of those have always been a "I place my hand over my mouth" Job moment.

    30 For we know him that hath said, Vengeance belongeth unto me, I will recompense, saith the Lord. And again, The Lord shall judge his people.

    31 It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

    32 But call to remembrance the former days, in which, after ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of afflictions;

    Hebrews 10
  18. Joined2krist

    Joined2krist Well-Known Member

    God doesn't love others more than you, you were among the people He sent His son to die for. Every Christian goes through a trial period, we are waging war against principalities, powers and unseen forces in the astral world so we must be prepared to wage war on our knees true prayers, you can do this through Christ who strengthens you, God bless
  19. longwait

    longwait Well-Known Member

    God Disciplines His Children
    In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,
    “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
    and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
    because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
    and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

    Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline —then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
    Hebrews 12:4-11
  20. eleos1954

    eleos1954 God is Love Supporter

    United States
    Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” - 1 Peter 5:7

    “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” - James 1:12

    “The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all.” - Psalm 34:19

    Romans 5:3-4
    More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,

    Romans 12:12

    Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

    May the Lord bring you peace to you heart soon. Amen