How is it a strawman? Many times I've seen people here appeal to fear and say things like "You shouldn't ask questions, just trust God!" or saying "Are you more moral than God?" like they're threatened and see the questioning as an attack, so in turn they try to scare people out of questioning. Maybe because they're afraid in some cases to dwell on the questions themselves.
I suggest being careful about assuming that they are afraid or trying to scare you. It rarely ends well to guess people's motives because if you are at all off, or they perceive it different from you, it can lead to a secondary argument. You could say that you
feel like they are trying to scare you when they talk about hell. And that you feel like they are not responding to your specific questions. It is subtle but it is different. One is about them, the other about you.
My experience is that most of those "doubters/agnostics/atheists start out as the aggressor. Now being that it is only anecdotal I can't claim it to be a truth but I would bet that much of what is considered christian hostility to such questions is in response to hostile confrontation. Christians however are not justified in such a response but humans are imperfect and Christians are humans.
I have had pleasant interactions with Christians on this forum and some less pleasant. One Christian poster repeatedly insulted me. I let it go because I was confrontational first. If you will, I was the aggressor. Of course I believe that my initial post was justified and I am sure he believes he was justified.
Another less pleasant interaction with a Christian involved someone who totally misunderstood much of what I said and others said, some Christians and some not. She was the questioner, not us. She didn't seem to listen to responses and became rather hostile. I gave up and backed out of the discussion. I think the thread ended up deleted.
I had one discussion where I worked hard not to make assumptions and to be civil. The Christian man talked about how he was likable and good at changing minds. I quizzed him about it. We also talked about "choosing" to believe and I felt like I talked past him on the issue of what goes into making a choice. As the conversation wore on we began to lose patience with each other. He told me I was going to hell. (I am sympathetic to the OP, hell pronouncements are real conversation stoppers). He told me others of a certain persuasion were going to hell unless they changed their nature. I in turn said he was judging us. I got the response that I usually get, it isn't me, it is God judging you and I am simply pointing out your error. I have never found that argument at all persuasive. Sure you are judging me, you are making a
judgment based upon you think God would do. I told him to own it. For all he said about being likable, I did not find him very likeable. But I liked him better than I would if he pretended to be all nicey nice while keeping quiet about his belief that I and others were going to hell.
My most unpleasant interaction involved an issue that had little or nothing to do with Christianity. In the course of the discussion I mentioned that I was a retired lawyer. He accused me of lying about that and said he didn't believe a thing atheists say. I offered to prove up my bonafides but he refused the offer. His posts were highly aggressive. He did delete one of his posts but his accusation that atheists should not be believed remained. It really colored my view of this forum because of the silence of other Christians in the face of his behavior. I didn't report him. Sometimes I think bad behaviour should stand as a lesson.
I am sharing my experience to show my perceptions, like you I claim nothing about who is the most hostile. Our world views are so dramatically different that it is hard to have a discussion of any depth. However, we all might be a bit less hostile in discussions if we did not assume the other side had some kind of bad motive unless they clearly evidence bad faith. Like the Christian who assumed I am a liar simply because I am an atheist. The ultimate ad hominem.