why do people always make fun of virgins

[Blank123]

Yes, you can.

you can get your virginity back?

 

[kevlite2020]

you can get your virginity back?

It's on sale at walmart!

 

[Blank123]

It's on sale at walmart!

dang... i guess they really do sell everything!

 

[ahmunmun]

My response is in bold.

And how are you so sure they actually did wear them before getting famous? Their word is not nessecarily true. Again, Britney did the whole virgin til marriage routine; and I honestly feel bad for her as it's clear the press was unfair to her, and she clearly has issues; but that's another thread. However, to assume that something is true just because someone says it is, and not be critical if they make it so public, is not very becoming to the discussion of virginity pledges.
Because I have seen pictures and have read articles of their pre-famous days. What I am troubled by is that you don't want me to assume things are true because they say so, but you are doing the same in assuming that JB possibly has the motive to boost their album sales. You don't want to give the benefit of the doubt to people who act like Christians. I understand your doubts for Britney, in the way she acts in public, but with JB? What have they done that made you think that perhaps their motive is not as clean as you want to believe? You say it's suspicious when people's album sales drop and they come with the purity ring, but I'm saying that JB has always had these rings on if you research on their pre-famous days.

The point being I don't understand Purity Balls, Purity Rings, or public pledges. It's no-one's business - and I have no idea why the Jonas Brothers woul announce such a vow if it is supposed to be a personal, private decision. Why announce it if not for the fringe benefits? I just think it's curious that one will assume Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton released their sex tapes, and that Britney lied about her own virginity for record sales and to further a manufactured image; but heaven forbid one thinks that the Jonas Brothers could also be lying for the PR.
I already addressed this in my post, about how perhaps they really want to tell others about God with their ring, just like I do?

That has nothing to do with being a Christian - and has everything to do with taking a critical look at the media, pop culture, and public personas.

In your decision to bold one sentence of my original post, you missed a very important point that summs up uh, exactly what I said here and expanded upon several times.
Just because I strongly disagree with you, doesn't mean I missed your point. It just means I strongly disagree with you. I would give the benefit of the doubt to Christians who bear good fruits. Unless if I see JB do something that would make me doubt that they're Christians, I will continue to believe that they are, and just like us, they want to preach the gospel, and one way is through their rings.


Point being? May not be impossible that so-and-so who's famous and appeals to 7 year olds has to take on a different persona than one who appeals to 25 year olds. However, it's naiive to assume that just because someone says someone stole our sex tape, or that they believe in Purity Pledges, there are no fringe benefits or other motivations whatsoever to going public with something that private. Just as there fringe benefits to David Lee Roth acting like a sex-crazed, chauvinist pig throughout his career.
Just as there may be motive to boost album sales, there may also be a motive to really preach the gospel. I believe in the latter if I see that someone is truly a Christian by the way he/she testifies. I don't really see why assume the negative. Why not give the benefit of the doubt especially when someone truly acts like a Christian? Would you assume that I'm not really a virgin like I claim and that my motive for wearing a purity ring is to be popular or whatever, when you have no proof to support this? If not, why would you bring this up against JB? They're good role models, and deserve fellow Christians' support. They already get enough crap from non-Christians. They don't need that from us as well.

 

[kevlite2020]

dang... i guess they really do sell everything!

haha

In seriousness, I was reading that too and curious. The best real thing I can think of that Quirk was talking about is with girls, and I'm going to avoid details as best as I can... If a girl loses her virginity, and then doesn't have sex again for a very long time... It's possible that the umm... physical things that happen to a girl that has sex for the first time will... repair and go back to the way it was when she was a virgin. Obviously it doesn't make her a real virgin again as there are still the emotional implications from it and memories, etc. but the physical state of virginity could "technically" be regained. Doesn't really mean anything, that's just the only way I understand what she's saying there.

 

[ahmunmun]

Quirk, it is certainly possible that people like the Jonas brothers use purity rings to boost sales. It does work, parents are encouraged to use them as a role model for their children. I cannot fathom why you think this is a bad thing though. Of course, the using it for profits thing is bad, sure,
I am sorry if I'm coming off offensive Quirk, I do not mean to. I'm simply but why would you be mad with people who are setting a good example at that level of fame. There are so many celebrities in this world who live sinful lives, give all the glory to themselves, and no recognition to God, and that is who our children (and our adults) look up to in the world. If there was no celebrities like Jonas brothers (even though I can't stand their music, I respect them) all we would have is bad examples on tv. You would rather have that?trying to understand your viewpoint because I can't understand it from your posts so far. It seems like you are saying that Christians should quietly keep to themselves, but anyone else is entitled to say and do whatever they want in public.

Amen! A lot of Christians who, although cannot stand JB's music, still respect them for standing up for God.

 

[Blank123]

yep thats what i wondered too, but like you say thats only a technicality. The actual state of virginity is gone

vir⋅gin

   /ˈvɜr

dʒɪn/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [vur-jin] Show IPA Use virgin in a Sentence

–noun 1. a person who has never had sexual intercourse.

its not like you can just magically become someone who has never had sex.

I know of people who have become "second virgins" or "born again virgins" or whatever other term you want to use where that person has committed him or herself to celibacy until marriage, but even that, while definitely something to applaud, is not the same thing as becoming a virgin again.


i'm gonna shut up now and let Quirk speak for herself

 

[Varik]

Yah, but that is just what you have expereinced. There are bound to be plenty of individuals who have done the deed in a committed relationship before tying the knot.

For the record as a social conservative, I oppose premarital sex on practical grounds, as even the most seemingly stable relationship can go south, but demonizing those who do engage in it certainly isn't helpful.

I wasn't aware I demonizing anybody. If you are in reference to my statement that "they float from one girlfriend to another like the plague" that was only analogy and was not meant to demonize anybody. I apologize if it seemed that way and will choose my words better next time.

 

[Luther073082]

Amen! A lot of Christians who, although cannot stand JB's music, still respect them for standing up for God.

I'm always careful of two things

Famous people standing up for God. Because often enough this is a stick and people love to get behind them without doing a lot of critical thinking. On top of that things change and greater temptations are presented to the famous.

and

Young people standing up for God. Because young people are very likely to end up changing their views.

So I'll say I'm cautiously optimistic about them. But I'm going to stay very cautious about my optimism with them for a good while.

 

[ahmunmun]

I agree. Also, famous people have more accountability because if they mess up, the whole world is going to know. If I mess up, only certain people know.

 

[kevlite2020]

So I'll say I'm cautiously optimistic about them. But I'm going to stay very cautious about my optimism with them for a good while.

Well I would say I'm like that about everyone. The only one we can put our faith in and know He will deliver everytime, is Christ. Any human is capable of failure and sin and the Jonas brothers may all become drug addicted sex fiends in the next month. Not likely, but certainly possible in this world. I will be happy and encouraging to them as long as they are being useful and staying vigilant. Even after that, (if I actually had the opportunity to talk to the Jonas brothers if they fell into sin) I would still show them love and do all I could to guide them back to Christ. Because that's what I hope others would do for me if I fall back into sin and fall completely away from Christ and start being a bad example myself. Doesn't help us to shut them out or cuss them out, it's more profitable to reach out to them in love.

 

[JonMiller]

Maybe I sound like Quirk, but I really doubt that most who have had it taken from them ever want it back. Are there exceptions, sure. But I said "most".

According to most links I read, the majority of men regreted their first time, and the vast majority of women did.

Now yeah, I agree that people like sex. That is obvious. Doesn't mean that people are doing it right.

JM

 

[JonMiller]

By the way, I don't think many people opened my link. It was a study done in 2007? which gave the median number of partners to be about 7 for men and about 4 for women (people in the study were ages 20-59). This is opposite sex partners, includnig same sex would raise that (probably ~ 1). This is similar to a study I saw presented in a conference in ~2000.

Most people don't go through many sexual partners. Most have a couple one night stands, a couple of long relationships, and a marriage or maybe two.

JM

 

[white dove]

The only time I've ever heard of anyone making fun of virgins was when co-workers alluded to a complete stranger being a 45-yr old one and living in his mother's basement. Or, the likes of Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson-types.

Other than that, I've never heard of anyone making fun of anyone else for their choice to abstain from sex.


It shouldn't matter what other people say though. I know words can hurt, but do other people's comments really matter, especially for something so personal? If you've decided to live your life a certain way, you should feel at peace with that and know that God loves you, regardless. If you are doing it for God - in keeping in line with God's Word - I don't see how that could make human being's comments matter over God's Word. If anything, they matter less. (The words, that is)

 

[Niels]

It seems like there's a stigma attached to everything these days.

 

[leothelioness]

I don't think virginity is something to celebrate or make fun of. Virginity is simply a state of being, like having blue eyes or being male or female. It just is.

I agree.

 

[leothelioness]

As a Jonas Brothers fan, I am quite shocked by your accusation especially when you're a Christian and a sister-in-Christ to those boys. Firstly, the Jonas Brothers (JB) started wearing the rings BEFORE they became famous. Joe made that vow when he was 12 and he's now 19. The other brothers made that vow to God around the same time. Even before they became very famous, they have been interviewed by reporters and never once did they stop giving glory to God for giving them the gift of music, and for being there to love them, and for getting them through the hard times. They even preached the idea of accountability, just like how the brothers were accountable to each other as they knew each other's weaknesses. How could you accuse them of publicizing their virginity for the purpose of selling records, when they have been Christians who are against pre-marital sex their whole lives? Have you ever thought that they are trying to change the world's view that single boys being virgins are abnormal, and that the truth is that God intends sex to be within a marriage only? Because of JB, several virgins I know are now speaking up against pre-marital sex, which is something they didn't have guts to do before, because it was considered "weird". When celebrities could testify for God in front of millions, it encourages us to do the same. I am just shocked that you don't seem to be siding with Christians who could do that. I pray for JB from time to time in the hope that they don't fall into temptation, and that they will continue to be the light in this dark world, and that they never be ashamed of the gospel.

By the way, I myself started wearing a purity ring because of JB. Obviously, I was against pre-marital sex before that, but I just didn't know what a purity ring was until JB came along. Why do I wear one? It's because it allows people to ask me why I have a ring on my left ring finger when I'm not married. They, of course, don't understand that a ring on the left ring finger could signify something else. Then I tell them it's a purity ring, and that they can look that up in Wikipedia if they're not familiar with the term. I stop there. I don't go into explicit details especially when I have just met the person. Some people have gone back to me, and say that they have looked up what purity ring represents, and that they admire me for my decision as there are not a lot of girls like that. This definitely opens up the door for them to consider Christianity. When they give me a positive response like that, it also opens up the door for me to go further about God and why I'm doing this for Him. So in summary, a purity ring is not showing off one's self-righteousness; it gives the opportunity to preach the gospel, and to show the world that there is a better way to live.

I just find it difficult to believe that the JoBros haven't done anything sexual.

(That is in no way directed at you, ahmunmun. I just quoted your post.)

 

[kevlite2020]

It shouldn't matter what other people say though. I know words can hurt, but do other people's comments really matter, especially for something so personal?

Try being a teenage boy with wild hormones with all of your friends having lost it (or at least claiming to have). I wasn't a Christian when I was a teenager but I'll say every guy I knew who was a virgin then, myself included, were made fun of and pressured every day. It's relentless and hard to keep fighting at that age, and thats where men get made fun of the most.

 

[* kittie *]

Totally off-topic but JB's dad was a worship leader at the Bible college I went to (CFNI). Well not while I was there. I just recall reading about that on a alumni forum...and then saw some videos of the dad at the school I think...

I find it admirable when someone decides to wait. Even if it's after they've already done it.

 

[cowboysfan1970]

Other than that, I've never heard of anyone making fun of anyone else for their choice to abstain from sex.

Oh I have. Too many times. I was in high school from 1984-1988 and my generation was probably the most sexually active at that age in history. AIDS really has made an impact on sexual activity of young people. It hasn't prevented it but it has lessened it at least a little. When I was a freshman the great majority of people were virgins but by the time we were seniors those numbers were much smaller. The big joke was being a virgin at graduation. That was like something shameful. Those that made a stand to abstain until marriage really did have to deal with a lot. They didn't get much if any respect from the majority of the other students. They were joked about a lot. Was it right? No. But that didn't stop it from happening. People that were virgins were looked at as being losers, pathetic, immature, uber nerds, things like that. The best thing to do at that time was to keep it to yourself and just let the others guess if you were or not.

One thing that was kind of funny about that whole thing was that the ones that made the most jokes about people being virgins were more than likely virgins themselves.