I agree, and you may not agree with this, but the Holy Spirit knows how to makes us aware. I agree we are all human and suffer from those tendencies, but I have found it best to be cut and dried when it comes to my responses, as it is writing and I can't make a person feel secure or unthreatened if they are looking for the opposite. The fact is that writing can convey feeling for those who learn to do so, as it can convey contempt and dismissiveness. The old saying hold true...practise makes perfect.
Too bad that some feel no twinge of guilt or remorse for treating another believer with contempt and dismissiveness, just because they hold a different theological understanding. Especially when that understanding is the result of serious time in reading the word, praying for understanding, and sincerely wanting to understand the why behind the belief.
In my case, I have never attended a Calvinist or Reformed church, my beliefs are what I see in the Bible. If one had to classify me as anything other than a believer in Christ, which is my preference, it would have to be as a Charismatic Calvinist, with an undecided eschatological view. Undecided only because it has not been my focus of study, due to the demands of day-to-day life, i.e. making a living. I am learning to trust God for my daily provision, and for wisdom and favor in my business (I'm self-employed).
I try to be direct and clear in my spoken and written words, and it surprises me at the equivocation and avoidance of some here. Many times, I make an observation, or a point, and get anything but a straight answer, or indication of understanding, but rather contempt, condescension, and needless and warrantless judgments about my character, my honesty, and in some case questioning whether I am a true believer or not, because of the Calvinist leaning of my theological view. That kind of treatment puts me on edge, and angers me, because it is so needless, and juvenile. Any believer is worthy of respect from his fellow believers unless and/or until they have given reason to not be treated that way, and a differing theological view does not qualify as a reason to do so.
As I indicated, Oz and I know each other personally, and even though I don't always agree with him, I have known him to be an affable, entertaining, and thoroughly genuine man, the very essence of a 'nice guy', and one who I am proud to know on a personal level. We can disagree, sometimes very sharply, but still respect each other. Would to God that more here could be that way with each other.