Why Are You Single?

[Vinter]

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[GodAndChocolateVanilla]

When I was Single, I was Single because I couldn't find the right man for me.

 

[Niels]

Unless I cross paths with somebody I feel like dating, which happens once in a blue moon, I'll remain single by choice.

Although I'm not entirely opposed to the idea of being in a relationship, she would need to be the right kind of woman for me. This means compatible temperament, shared values, similar enough family or cultural background for us to communicate in a meaningful way, and basic attraction among other things. The kind of woman that I find fun and relaxing to be around, yet surprisingly difficult to find. In lieu of meeting such a person, solitude is preferred.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

but probably the second thing I enjoy most is the freedom of being alone.

To be honest, I could never find myself saying this because I've been without a woman in my life for too long.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

My Church doesn't do western-style dating, and I guess Egyptian girls don't like me.

What does your church have to do with what you do when away from church? Why should your church influence how you date?

 

[Saucy]

Because I'm Saucy

 

[ozso]

I'm single because I'm not married.

 

[ReesePiece23]

I used to analyse this question to death, but now, I VERY seldom think about it. I've accepted that I just don't have the personality type to be in a relationship all of the time - or, consistently seek one out.

I had a beautiful girlfriend ten years ago, and I was very much in love - BUT, that was in a completely different life-stage. It wouldn't run consistent with my personality now to repeat that particular era of my life.

However, life absolutely does go in seasons. Even my fierce independence will one day burn out and vanish away like a white dwarf star, leaving a cloud of redolent energy that will become the next life-stage.

In short, it's all a question of where I am on the road map of life. Had I strayed from that map over the last ten years I'd have seven children with five different women by now. Without ANY of the life experience I have gathered by travelling the world freely and taking on as many hobbies/interests as possible.

Hobbies that are now starting to look like incredibly viable career paths indeed.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I used to analyse this question to death, but now, I VERY seldom think about it. I've accepted that I just don't have the personality type to be in a relationship all of the time - or, consistently seek one out.

I had a beautiful girlfriend ten years ago, and I was very much in love - BUT, that was in a completely different life-stage. It wouldn't run consistent with my personality now to repeat that particular era of my life.

However, life absolutely does go in seasons. Even my fierce independence will one day burn out and vanish away like a white dwarf star, leaving a cloud of redolent energy that will become the next life-stage.

In short, it's all a question of where I am on the road map of life. Had I strayed from that map over the last ten years I'd have seven children with five different women by now. Without ANY of the life experience I have gathered by travelling the world freely and taking on as many hobbies/interests as possible.

Hobbies that are now starting to look like incredibly viable career paths indeed.

It is interesting how those that exist on this message board or any relationship or dating message board for that matter that have basically thrown in the towel when it comes to finding someone. I'd be curious as to the ages of those that had.

I'm gathering anyone 20-something, you would not see this as this the age , esp. the mid-20s where people couple up and get married. Same may go for the 30-somethings.

For instance, where I work there are mid-20s and late 20-somethings engaged, recently married, all fresh new marriages (or about to get there). These people probably don't even converse about this aforementioned topic whatsoever.

40 and older, I can see people giving up on the idea of coupling up. It's like they've been run through the wringer of previous marriages or relationships.

It seems some people out there, I'm getting, or too socially awkward to have a romantic relationship.

 

[philadelphos]

Many reasons, mostly personal choice. Largely it's an issue of trust and reliance on God's provision and timing. There's also life circumstance, emotional capacity, economic capacity, social factors, belief and spiritual maturity, deeds and compatibility in daily and annual patterns, oneness of mind.

Given the age we're in, what use is the temporal over the everlasting? Marriage being a temporary institution/covenant made obsolete in Christ. We are in end times. If even kings and prime ministers have an indefinite future, how can a person confidently bring a child into this world? It's no wonder marriages are falling apart, since it's now less about longevity, bloodlines, and building the family tree, and more about companionship, which is somewhat a humanistic and individualistic end; subjective and fickle.

"For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven." (Mt 22:30)

After some really deep failed relationships, I feel that unless God places a woman in my life in the same way that Adam woke up to discover Eve, undeniably crossing paths, only then can I be sure it is God's will and purpose that I'd be living up to. Otherwise, it'd be a marriage out of self-will, pro-creating kids likely by accident out of lust, idealisation, and or boredom/loneliness that appears to resemble 'love'. That, IME, would be doomed to tragedy. i.e. a self-sacrificial Christ-like love/charity vs a narcissistic plastic love.

And when I say 'cross paths', I mean not in a superficial chance meeting but in the same kind of way Abraham married Sarah his cousin. Not a genetic connection but spiritually, in that a genuine 'common interest' must exist, where duty of care, filial responsibility, etc, that is to be expected in marriage comes naturally and isn't forced, isn't difficult, but is instead truly joyful and in no way a chore. Likely that means same church/synagogue, same calling, world view, and background vs cross-cultural and cross-generational relationships. Age is not just a number! But in that too, I am past the age of "marrying the wife of my youth" so to speak.

My personhood and independence I value highly too, over others. Personal autonomy, a life without excess pressure, stress, burden, or coercion is important to my well being. "A quiet life" without relationship politics. Is that possible in a relationship? Perhaps that makes me selfish except that the things I work on have benefit, with 'fruit' to be realised, albeit in due time/context. This feels impossible to communicate, as ironic and as it reads: Selflessness via selfishness. Is that conducive in re-lationships? lol

"Receiving the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily" (Acts 17:11) "Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me. And ye will not come to me, that ye might have life. I receive not honour from men." (Jn 5:39-41)

Without being long-winded, some other points I could write essays on:

• having oneness of mind and retaining self
• the impossibility of self-sacrifice when one is robbed of self
• loneliness and truly overcoming it vs co-dependency
• personal development and maturity results in rarity, exacerbating feelings of loneliness
• the bleakness of being surrounded by sinful and cursed less blessed: narcissistic and bipolar culture
• commercialisation of marriage
• corporatisation of life inc. marriage
• social politics and climbing social hierarchies vs faith in Christ
  
• gender differences and gender politics: women's motives, interests, priorities, differ to mens
• high risk: culture of divorce, feminism, big government, family court, etc, and the minor role of churches and elders
  
• prospective loss of peace and quiet, clarity, focus
  
• trust issues: motives that are unexpressed and unrealised until too late
• negative marriages: done to avoid social stigma, loneliness, and for social hierarchy

And the big question: How will a woman make my life better? Apart from ofc the physical, the rest is too unpredictable. Without God nothing is possible.

"They did eat, they drank, they married wives, they were given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered into the ark, and the flood came, and destroyed them all." (Lk 17:27)

"And Jesus answering said unto them, The children of this world marry, and are given in marriage: But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage: Neither can they die any more: for they are equal unto the angels; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection." (Lk 20:34-36)

Blessings to all

 

[cepha]

I move around a lot, and the women I get to know invariably plan on staying put, so I simply don't bother "growing roots", as it were. Besides, I already got a kid, so my biological mission is satisfied.

 

[RoanokeIllinois]

Hello! I just wanted to make a Thread about "Why Are You Single?".

I think it's because I'm mainly just too honest, and straight forward, and I'm a nice guy, with bad boy looks.

I just suck at lying. That and I don't like doing it anyways. I suck at minipulating others, especially a woman. Even though I wouldn't want too.

Too many people now adays are use to being lied to, and used. Especially when it comes to dating. Many people have become jaded, when it comes to dating.

 

[philadelphos]

It is interesting how those that exist on this message board or any relationship or dating message board for that matter that have basically thrown in the towel when it comes to finding someone. I'd be curious as to the ages of those that had.

I'm gathering anyone 20-something, you would not see this as this the age , esp. the mid-20s where people couple up and get married. Same may go for the 30-somethings.

For instance, where I work there are mid-20s and late 20-somethings engaged, recently married, all fresh new marriages (or about to get there). These people probably don't even converse about this aforementioned topic whatsoever.

40 and older, I can see people giving up on the idea of coupling up. It's like they've been run through the wringer of previous marriages or relationships.

It seems some people out there, I'm getting, or too socially awkward to have a romantic relationship.

"A fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself." (Pro 18:2) -- The ones who have "run through the wringer" realise that soon rather than later, which in itself is God's grace, nipping it in the bud.

"The socially awkward" part is not true whatsoever. Many singles I know are the most charismatic, socially intelligent, accomplished, gifted, knowledgeable, talented, beautiful, fashionable, of respectable social status, and can command a rooms attention if they wanted. They don't live life conditional on 'finding the right person', but the rest do, IME. This is the bigger problem IMO, immaturity and cluelessness breeding.

 

[philadelphos]

To be honest, I could never find myself saying this because I've been without a woman in my life for too long.

No woman, no headaches.

 

[mojoboy31]

Why am I single? Two reasons: my face. And my personality

 

[Christopher Range]

Because, The woman I loved, died 9-4/5-2021 from unknown Heart Disease, at 52yrs-old

 

[Juan777]

Because, The woman I loved, died 9-4/5-2021 from unknown Heart Disease, at 52yrs-old

At least you were married to someone you really loved and she kept her integrity with you. Its worst if you have memories of someone but she is with another guy and has forgotten about you. These are memories you can really respect.

 

[Christopher Range]

At least you were married to someone you really loved and she kept her integrity with you. Its worst if you have memories of someone but she is with another guy and has forgotten about you. These are memories you can really respect.

I wasn't married to her(I had hoed to be married to her someday). It was LDR(Long-Distance Relationship). She lived in California, and I lived Maryland, now in North Carolina. I had flown out to see her(before Covid).

 

[Quiet Soul]

Possibility because I am too shy and quiet for anyone to pay attention to me.

 

[Christopher Range]

Because my physical health is not a 'cakewalk'. Not many women can cope with it.