Why are you single?

[Sir Robbins]

aside from not really having any drive to change it, the lack of opportunity is likely the biggest contributor. I went to a college for a year that was pretty much all guys (broadcast engineering) was the study. I only go to cigar shops and pool halls to socialize and really have been very distant with female friends. On top of that, many I know who married are already divorced... I watched them. I don't want any part in it. I feel lucky being medically ill with MS to an extent. It's like a legitimate excuse to stay single for the sake of not bringing someone else into my world of pain. I dreamed of love years ago but that has passed and though it makes me sad, I must face reality

 

[JAM2b]

After years of my husband's neglect, emotional abuse, control, and cheating, I divorced him because he took it out on our son when I stood up to him and told him things had to change. I would have stayed and continued to try to make it work if he hadn't turned on our child.

I'm not in a hurry to have someone new, and I'm not sure if I ever will be. I'm not sure if it's even worth it. It would have to be someone who is very kind, easy going, and likes to live simply. I just don't feel up to any drama or intensity of any kind. It would have to be very slow and easy. Which means it's not likely to happen. People lose interest or become impatient too quickly.

I do get lonely and would like to have someone who loves me, but it's not something I seek out. I don't feel driven to do so. I can easily pull myself together and be content.

 

[Quietus]

Well, I’m a recluse. Have been for years. Pretty much a failure-to-launch type of individual, who resigned from the world because they couldn’t succeed in it.

Too late, I realized that joining a convent would have been the perfect path for me, but in my prime, when I was debt-free and healthy, I was not Christian.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I think the biggest contributor to my being still single is that I work in a women's world and I don't socialize much. When I do, it is mostly with other women. My irregular work schedule prevents me from joining any groups or classes that meet weekly. However, I also am not willing to just go "when I can" so I guess that is on me.

So I suffer from "lack of even being around men", especially single men.

However, I also accept it and although I feel lonely periodically, I know that I am not likely to meet a man unless I change my own habits.

I would say maybe it's where I live. If they are single, it's mostly Jerry Springer/ Backwoods types. The rest my age are either married or spoken for or quite elderly. I live in an area of serious retiree communities.

I do online dating, but I keep seeing the same faces of the women that I had already contacted (and been ignored by). They remain permanent fixtures of the online dating world.

Also where I live, if you do anything socially, I wind up being the ONLY single person among a sea of families. If you approach a lady in public to try to chat, her boyfriend bubba will show up from around the corner. lol

If I do meet up with people, they are typically 45 mins to an hour away in a neighboring large city...but even there it's mostly superficial types. If you're not a hunky, 6 foot tall handsome guy with a good salary, you're out of the running.

 

[Jagg76]

I've always been single due to extreme low self-esteem and tons of insecurities. I've tried working through these issues with therapy both professional and self-help but have been unsuccessful. I've also been alone all my adult life because I've never dated so part of me has gotten attached to the freedom of not being 'tied' down.

I've tried friendship with a woman also but that didn't end well as those feelings became more than just friendship and it didn't end so well.

 

[dayhiker]

Thanks for sharing jagg76

 

[Shane McKenzie]

Not horny enough to make the effort.

 

[Rajni]

I'm single because it's awesome.

I was married previously, for 21 years. He's a great guy, and
even now I will visit him and his current wife (a great lady)
on occasion.

But now that I've experienced being both single and married,
I definitely prefer being single. I'm at the point where even
if a guy I was madly in love with were to ask me to marry
him (not gonna happen, thank God), I would have to decline.

Maybe in the next incarnation. For now, in this one, I'm good.

-
-

 

[dayhiker]

Rayjeena ... I'm with you on the not getting married things .. as much as I enjoyed being married for 28 yrs, I'm enjoying being single much more. Being married put all these limitations about who and how long I'd get to spend time with other people.

 

[bèlla]

I had an interesting discussion about this subject recently. I asked a close friend why he wasn't settled and shared observations about myself. I admitted the necessity of choosing a suitor wasn't important. I was holding out for something more. Someone whose disposition and outlook would complement my own.

I wanted an adventure. A person willing to go beyond the mundane and experience life to the fullest. Over time I realized what I required most was calm and steadiness. Someone comfortable with demands who understands the value of paying it forward and leaving something behind. I needed an architect with a hunger for building and legacy.

I understood that looking was the wrong approach. I felt he'd recognize me when the time was right. I was willing to wait a while if necessary. I wasn't afraid of being alone or doing things on my own. The premise of a poor alignment hastened my steps.

One day I made a wellness check on someone I was acquainted with in the past. And everything changed. We rekindled our connection and I felt a growing calm in the midst of the chaos taking place (around the world).

I didn't hear a booming voice or receive a parcel that he's the one. But I've noticed my response and the feedback I've been getting from friends and loved ones. They've noticed a change. A quiet settledness which permeates my person.

I'm progressing towards my goal of a life companion. The story is unfolding one stroke at a time. I'm not in a hurry to find the answers.

~Bella

 

[Ronit]

Oh, I became single again because cancer won the battle with my husband.

I am so sorry

 

[shineyourlight]

I think the biggest contributor to my being still single is that I work in a women's world and I don't socialize much. When I do, it is mostly with other women. My irregular work schedule prevents me from joining any groups or classes that meet weekly. However, I also am not willing to just go "when I can" so I guess that is on me.

So I suffer from "lack of even being around men", especially single men.

However, I also accept it and although I feel lonely periodically, I know that I am not likely to meet a man unless I change my own habits.

In the past year, it was a choice. I feel like I used to say it was a choice because I felt like no one wanted me.

I ended a relationship a year and a half ago. It was a huge step in pursuing healing after I ended it and have spent this whole time pursuing healing, pursing physical and mental health, and finally learned the art of loving myself. It's been an amazing journey.

I've had opportunities, especially this year, to date. But, as I'm finding out who I am and loving myself, I also need someone to be on board with that. I need someone to be able to be a partner and NOT someone who wants to dominate my life. I am thankful for my last relationship because it taught me a lot. It was my first unhealthy relationship out of previous ones. And, it taught me a lot. It taught me what I wanted from a man, it made me realize what I didn't want.

The journey of finding out who you are and loving yourself is incredible. It is tough, it is hard. You experience a lot of emotions all jumbled into one messy ball, but, you go with it and you allow yourself to feel in order to let go of things that held you captive.

This year has gained a lot of freedom and I am thankful I'm at a place where dating is put back on the table. I needed the time to really find myself, to really love on myself, and allow myself to mourn so I could rejoice later on.

 

[Lost4words]

I am single because i refuse to share my bowl with anyone else!

 

[sunshineforJesus]

Im single because Im still waiting on finding just the right guy.

 

[TLSITD]

I'm single because when I was first saved the Lord made it clear to me by faith that it was not His will for me to marry, because of the calling He had for me, and because of the lateness of the hour and the times the world and the saints are about to enter.

In recent years, having been contentedly single and mostly alone for my entire Christian life, I've begun to experience extreme loneliness; a desire for fellowship with like-minded Christians and especially for the comfort and companionship of a husband, which longing and burden God has not relieved me of.

I'm not sure whether it is God's will to comfort me Himself rather than to give me a husband, and I don't really care which one He does; I just want relief from the loneliness.

From experience I know that the likelihood of my even having a close friend is very slim, realistically. Not because I'm not a nice person, but because there's virtually no one I know or have met that I can relate to enough to develop a deep, meaningful and satisfying relationship with.

 

[Tempura]

At least two reasons: I still have romantic feelings towards someone I previously had a relationship with, and even if I didn't, I don't have enough to bring to the table. I'd require more out of myself than what I could currently provide for anyone in a meaningful and fair way concerning a romantic relationship and/or marriage.

 

[Anthony2019]

I'm single because I like the freedom it brings.
Freedom to live in my own space, to arrange and decorate it just how I like it, go out to places and come home, just when I please. To cook what I like. To watch on TV what I like. And to have an entire kingsize bed to myself (except for teddy).
I've never been attracted to women, went through a short period of dating (with those on the "other bus" so to speak) and came to the realisation that I could only be truly happy if I remained single and celibate.

 

[Ronit]

I'm single because when I was first saved the Lord made it clear to me by faith that it was not His will for me to marry, because of the calling He had for me, and because of the lateness of the hour and the times the world and the saints are about to enter.

In recent years, having been contentedly single and mostly alone for my entire Christian life, I've begun to experience extreme loneliness; a desire for fellowship with like-minded Christians and especially for the comfort and companionship of a husband, which longing and burden God has not relieved me of.

I'm not sure whether it is God's will to comfort me Himself rather than to give me a husband, and I don't really care which one He does; I just want relief from the loneliness.

From experience I know that the likelihood of my even having a close friend is very slim, realistically. Not because I'm not a nice person, but because there's virtually no one I know or have met that I can relate to enough to develop a deep, meaningful and satisfying relationship with.

I totally get that.

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

After years of my husband's neglect, emotional abuse, control, and cheating, I divorced him because he took it out on our son when I stood up to him and told him things had to change. I would have stayed and continued to try to make it work if he hadn't turned on our child.

I'm not in a hurry to have someone new, and I'm not sure if I ever will be. I'm not sure if it's even worth it. It would have to be someone who is very kind, easy going, and likes to live simply. I just don't feel up to any drama or intensity of any kind. It would have to be very slow and easy. Which means it's not likely to happen. People lose interest or become impatient too quickly.

I do get lonely and would like to have someone who loves me, but it's not something I seek out. I don't feel driven to do so. I can easily pull myself together and be content.

I literally could have written this post but substituting my daughter where you'd written son. When he took it out on my daughter I fled the home with her and her baby brother.

Your post is literally me right about now

 

[sea5763]

Nvm