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Why are you single?

J

Jenster

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I hear ya, Jane! I'm signed up with a dating Web site, but I'm pretty tentative about participating. Hard to know who is telling the truth about themselves... So consequently I'm not looking very hard, like you. I go to parties, but I don't full-on get out there and meet people. It's all a matter of comfort level, I think. Invite me any day to a small dinner party with a few friends and a few guys I don't know -- that's more my style.
 
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Princess Pea

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I hear ya, Jane! I'm signed up with a dating Web site, but I'm pretty tentative about participating. Hard to know who is telling the truth about themselves... So consequently I'm not looking very hard, like you. I go to parties, but I don't full-on get out there and meet people. It's all a matter of comfort level, I think. Invite me any day to a small dinner party with a few friends and a few guys I don't know -- that's more my style.
I've been doing the online thing for a while, but I don't think my heart's in it. Maybe I'm just impossibly picky, but I feel like I'm waiting for a particular man and every time I've been contacted or matched so far I look over the profile and think "No ... that's not him either." In doing this I've probably missed "him" - and yet, the cream has risen to the top. I have met a few guys in person, and none of them were "him" either. So I feel as if my screening process is pretty good.

I dunno - I feel like if this is ever going to happen for me, it's going to be through church or mutual acquaintances.
 
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nb37

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Something tells me that the man God has for us is not going to come to us through anything that we actively do. I know it's a cliche' to say, but maybe when we least expect it or when we are truly not actively looking for him, KA-POW, there he is. Maybe, I don't know. I tried to do the internet dating thing, E Harmony, but got a little scared and just plain unsettled about it so I figured it may have been the Holy Spirit telling me that's not the way for me to go.
 
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B

Bridgit

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Something tells me that the man God has for us is not going to come to us through anything that we actively do. I know it's a cliche' to say, but maybe when we least expect it or when we are truly not actively looking for him, KA-POW, there he is. Maybe, I don't know. I tried to do the internet dating thing, E Harmony, but got a little scared and just plain unsettled about it so I figured it may have been the Holy Spirit telling me that's not the way for me to go.

This is exactly how I see it! :)
 
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J

Jenster

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Hi Tumbleweed! Haven't seen you in awhile. :wave:

Well, I was just "referred" to a single guy who lives near me (long story) and as it happens, one of my friends knows him. So I'm going through her to find out more about him, and to see if he'd be interested in meeting me. I'm trying to be more open to these possibilities, and stop worrying so much about making an error in judgment. At the very least, I could meet him and practice my social skills. ^_^
 
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IseekTheTruth

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EDIT: woops. I'm not in the proper age bracket :p I'll leave it anyway.

Weeellll.... because of all the girls I know... There are so few that truly love and live for the Lord, that I am attracted to personality-wise, and that I find physically attracive... We're talking horribly small numbers here.

I think I've asked 4 girls out in my whole life. 2 were when I was young and naive and did it on impulse before I knew what anything meant.

The third was when I was on a cruise in alaska of all places. Beautiful girl... loves the Lord... We were attracted to each other since the moment we met. We dated for almost two years and had a great relationship considering the fact that we only saw each other every couple months and the rest was long distance (and we were only 17 and 19!!!) We really thought we'd get married, but it ended up not working out. Ultimately our personalities just didn't click... even though she is a great girl and we're still decent friends.

The fourth is the girl whom I asked out yesterday and apparently has no interest in dating me. It was a bummer, but God's working on my faith :). Things are weird dude... you have these thoughts... For example.. my brother asked a quiet girl out he liked one time and she kind of ignored him. Years later he found out she had developed a huge crush on him and had always hoped he would ask her out again. Strange world. I'm not saying I'm holding onto vain hope but just that I'm not ruling out when God's in the picture haha.
 
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J

Jenster

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EDIT: woops. I'm not in the proper age bracket I'll leave it anyway.

:eek: Oh my, a youngster in our midst! :p :D

Iseek, you'll find that things are not always as they seem when it comes to love. People are so afraid of rejection, they do stupid things. Myself included! :doh: It'd be lovely if getting together with someone were as simple as "I like you, you like me," but some people take awhile to warm up to the idea. Or to let their guard down.

It IS wise to take a person's "no" at face value. But don't give up being friends with that person -- genuinely and sincerely. Let them know through your behavior that you're okay with NOT dating, but that you're a cool person who wouldn't mind being friends. (I mean, unless your crush is so huge and uncontrollable that you genuinely can't be friends.)

Anyway, glad to know you're giving it to God. He will guide, always.
 
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Syilxgal

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ONthe question of why am I single?

I get asked by a lot of friends and family ..."what are you waiting for" and I say I am waiting for that man who is a chrisitan... who can make my toes curl and make me laugh....... I wish it were as simple as that but the reality of it is I am a shy person and when it comes to work i can talk like crazy but when its just me its a lot harder. :wave: I guess we all have our hang ups for whatever reason.
 
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HoosierCanuck

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Reason #1,234,567,890,987,654,321 why HC is single:

Between my jobs, home improvement projects and other distractions.....I don't think I would have the energy to pursue a relationship right now if Mr. Right knocked on my door this very moment. :-(
 
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Godzbutterfly

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Why are you single?

Hmmmmm...... My best guess is that God desires me to be content with being single and look to Him to supply all my needs.

AND.....All I have met were wolves in sheep's clothing to add to my misery:doh: ! (Yet I have gained wisdom as well!:thumbsup: )

I wish I knew why I was still single and never met a man that knew how to love unconditionally or was selfless....ughhh!!!!!:scratch: A question to ask God if I remain single for life.....

I have to fight so hard to have faith that their are good and Godly men out there who are Holy Spirit filled, single and sane!!!!
 
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rainman11

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I think it has a lot to do with ones beliefs. And honestly I think it has a lot to do with how your dating life went back in JR high, and high school. If it went good, then you'd have built up the confidence at an early age to have that solid belief, that "I can and usually do meet the kind of people that I could marry" and I'm assuming you'd be married. But if you're dating at an early age went bad, then it's hard to build that confidence later on in life because all you know is that you're set of experiences are negative ones in terms of dating and romance. I think the problem is trying to change your belief system so that you can actually see yourself attracting and being in a committed relationship with the type of person you know deep down in your heart that you'd like to find. Which is tricky because again it goes back to not having any past reference expereinces to back this up. And I think often what people do infact have is references that rather support ones belief that those kind of attractive wonderful people are "not" interested in them because of the bad experiences. I think you just have to try to excercise your faith and try to believe even without the evidence. Easier said that done though. Because if you believe you can do something usually you'll get the results and get what you expect whether that be the belief that you can and usually do find idea partners or the belief that you usually don't and haven't yet. Geepers creepers where did all this come from. I'll have to take my own advice. I sure could use it. ha ha....;-)
 
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imaniingod

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Why are you single?

Hmmmmm...... My best guess is that God desires me to be content with being single and look to Him to supply all my needs.

AND.....All I have met were wolves in sheep's clothing to add to my misery:doh: ! (Yet I have gained wisdom as well!:thumbsup: )

I wish I knew why I was still single and never met a man that knew how to love unconditionally or was selfless....ughhh!!!!!:scratch: A question to ask God if I remain single for life.....

I have to fight so hard to have faith that their are good and Godly men out there who are Holy Spirit filled, single and sane!!!!
When you deal with men who are not christians you will find that they are selfish, My children's father said that I loved God more than him and he was right. He was selfish, self serving and he had no idea what unconditional love meant. You have to wait for God to tell you who your mate is because he knows what we have need of in our mate.
 
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