Why are you single?

MMXII · Jan 1, 2006

FlatpickingJD said:
I don't mean to minimize the problems of living w/your folks while searching for work, at the same time as trying to find a spouse/mate. That is tough. But know that not all women look simply at your pocketbook, many look at the person you are. So long as you don't sit in your shorts drinking beer all day, every day instead of trying to find work, a lot of women will see that you're a quality guy. Plus you're helping your folks out too, so that's something to consider. Don't worry, brother things will get better.

Godly wisdom

FlatpickingJD · Jan 1, 2006

stepha1 said:
I would really like to meet someone at church but they are all married. I am happy for them but leaves me out of luck....

Have you tried talking to your pastor/minister? He/She may be able to help, and may already have singles services or programs. Think of it this way: if you're single, odds are there are other singles in the church you attend. And if there aren't any programs, maybe the pastor/minister would let you start one - again, if you're single other singles probably attend who would be interested in the program. That could become your contribution to the church, your own ministry. Just a thought . . .

Jenster · Jan 1, 2006

mwb said:
I certainly hope things will get better in 2006. Part of me still wants to be more aggressive in my search for someone special & hope to find someone who sees that I have much to offer & things will get better for me on the employment front.

I hope things get better for you, too, mwb. That's really shameful how the company treated you. It's good that you stood up for yourself, in spite of how things turned out.

I have a few friends who live with their parents. I don't even really know their situations (why they live with them), but what matters more to me is that my friends are quality people - active in church and socially. They are confident in their faith and who they are. I never look at them and think "Oh there's the person who lives with her/his parents," you know? So I agree with FlatpickingJD - it's what one does with oneself that speaks louder than one's immediate situation.

Jenster · Jan 1, 2006

KatacrossthePond said:
I guess if God's plan for me is a husband, I can trust him to find me one (whilst still pro-actively looking!). After all, it's His job - He's my Father.

Amen, Kat!

Jenster · Jan 1, 2006

Re: singles at church. Yeah, I'd like to meet someone at my church too, but I've been there so long that I know them all, and they know me, and nothin's gonna happen, I'm fairly sure.

But, I have friends at other churches, so my hope (and plan) is to go to other churches' events and get to know other singles that way. Of course there are precautions - such as, you don't want to go in solely with an agenda of "finding Mr. or Ms. Right," because in many fellowships, that's considered rude. But there's nothing wrong with meeting people and being open, I suppose.

mwb · Jan 2, 2006

I do get hung up on the whole "no one will like me because of my situation" excuse. I know that is not always the case. At this point, I'd be happy finding a friend who is willing to help me through these times & sees my potential. Despite my somber tone, I am always positive & take life on one day at a time.

stepha1 · Jan 2, 2006

Things don't always work out the way we want them too. Trust me I have had some times in my life that have made me fall down on my knees and cry out. But it is comforting to know God is with us and hears our cries but also hears us when we rejoice.

I mentioned earlier that meeting someone at church would be great. The bar scene is not the way to go. I can't just approach some stranger (you never know- they could be crazy) at a store or any other public place. I figure if I meet him at church that would give me some idea of his faith and it would not be a battle to get him involved in church. I look at it as a plus. I don't want anyone to think that I go to church to find a potential mate, I go to offer worship and praise to God. I think it would eliminate some of the guess work in a relationship if I did meet a man there.

Pointman7 · Jan 2, 2006

Can a person be single because it was God's will for divorce? But, it was God's orginal plan for them to get married? I know this sounds unusual. Can one of the spouses get so backsliden (go insane) that God rescues the other from the terrible condition? I don't like using the "D" word but it is a part of life and it does happen even to really nice people.

stepha1 · Jan 2, 2006

I want to share with you. I got my divorce b/c my ex was mean to me and my daughter (verbally, began pushing, and throwing items at us). We did go to counseling (saw a social worker that was a licensed therapist and on another occassion went to counseling with the preacher that married us). My ex also got on medication for his temper. I could tell when he stopped taking it b/c his temper began to re-surface. On one occassion he chased my daughter down the road yelling at her. I decided that it was time to move on. I did not get married to get a divorce but I also did not get married to be a victim of domestic abuse or have my children abused. I felt it was the best decision for us (me and my kids). I did not want my kids growing up thinking this is love and a healthy relationship. I would rather them see me as a strong women able to take care of her kids with the faith that God would provide. With God's help (and a lot of it) I have been able to do that. I know that I would have nothing without Him.

Pointman7 · Jan 2, 2006

stepha1 said:
I want to share with you. I got my divorce b/c my ex was mean to me and my daughter (verbally, began pushing, and throwing items at us). We did go to counseling (saw a social worker that was a licensed therapist and on another occassion went to counseling with the preacher that married us). My ex also got on medication for his temper. I could tell when he stopped taking it b/c his temper began to re-surface. On one occassion he chased my daughter down the road yelling at her. I decided that it was time to move on. I did not get married to get a divorce but I also did not get married to be a victim of domestic abuse or have my children abused. I felt it was the best decision for us (me and my kids). I did not want my kids growing up thinking this is love and a healthy relationship. I would rather them see me as a strong women able to take care of her kids with the faith that God would provide. With God's help (and a lot of it) I have been able to do that. I know that I would have nothing without Him.

I think you made the right decision. My singleness was the result of something very similar.
God bless you and your kids. Thanks for sharing such a difficult chapter in your life. Now we can pray for you.

Craft · Jan 2, 2006

stepha1 said:
I want to share with you. I got my divorce b/c my ex was mean to me and my daughter (verbally, began pushing, and throwing items at us). We did go to counseling (saw a social worker that was a licensed therapist and on another occassion went to counseling with the preacher that married us). My ex also got on medication for his temper. I could tell when he stopped taking it b/c his temper began to re-surface. On one occassion he chased my daughter down the road yelling at her. I decided that it was time to move on. I did not get married to get a divorce but I also did not get married to be a victim of domestic abuse or have my children abused. I felt it was the best decision for us (me and my kids). I did not want my kids growing up thinking this is love and a healthy relationship. I would rather them see me as a strong women able to take care of her kids with the faith that God would provide. With God's help (and a lot of it) I have been able to do that. I know that I would have nothing without Him.

At least you are smart and strong enough to do what was right, have faith in yourself and God.

stepha1 · Jan 2, 2006

Thank you!! I do. God has never and will never let me down. Unfortunately, I have let Him down too many times too count.

Craft · Jan 2, 2006

stepha1 said:
Thank you!! I do. God has never and will never let me down. Unfortunately, I have let Him down too many times too count.

But remember he forgives everything if asked

SFBUK · Jan 5, 2006

No one has ever wanted to marry me

stepha1 · Jan 5, 2006

That is okay. That means you have not meet the person God has for you yet. I have been married and now divorced. I don't regret the marriage b/c I have a wonderful son as a result. I believe if you want to get married it will happen for you one day but in God's time not ours. That is the hardest part for me- it doesn't happen in my time.

Pointman7 · Jan 6, 2006

stepha1 said:
That is okay. I don't regret the marriage b/c I have a wonderful son as a result.

My divorce was very sudden taking me totally by surprise. I felt I was been thrown into a deep cold, dark, empty place to die of rejection. I didn't want to go back to being single. I like being married. If it wasn't for my kids, even though I didn't get custody, I would have never survived the emotional break.

Stepha1, With your child, you will always have a family.

stepha1 · Jan 6, 2006

Thank you!! I appreciate you saying that. It is amazing how sometimes the roles change between a parent and a child(ren). I know with my daughter, she lends me that emotional support I need at times.

Tumbleweed64 · Jan 6, 2006

I'm single because.... I'm a BIG chicken

Jenster · Jan 7, 2006

Hey Tumble, we all have fears about relationships. When you say you're a chicken, do you mean you have a fear of rejection, or ... something else?

covenantwmn · Jan 7, 2006

stepha1 said:
It is amazing how sometimes the roles change between a parent and a child(ren). I know with my daughter, she lends me that emotional support I need at times.

I totally know what you mean. My daughter's my best buddy. I'm single b/c I haven't met a man i'm interested in, there's just not too many around here.
in Him, Leslie

Why are you single?

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