Why are priests so unapproachable?

[abysmul]

The local Catholic priests have always been approachable. Heck, one is a regular having drinks at the KofC all the time. To be honest the local Catholic priests have always seemed more approachable than many of the local non-Catholic pastors/preachers/leaders.

 

[bill5]

In a sense, priests are like physicians of the soul: they want what is best for us.

That's a great way to put it. And like physicians, sure you hope to get along and be at least cordial, but you don't have to be like family.

It's also a great analogy because like physicians, they are very knowledgeable, but still human and not perfect. and not always right.

 

[houseofsaul]

To Mike_001 and east coast_bsc

Sorry you have had to endure such ill treatment on a thread I started. Sorry Father (Mike_001) that you weren't given the respect your position deserves. Thanks for serving.

This will be my last post as I have seen over the few days that I have been here this forum is no different than Catholic Answers or any other Faith based forum I have stumbled upon.

I now ask the Mods to close this thread and to delete my account.

 

[James Is Back]

Mod Hat On

This thread has undergone a small cleanup for flaming/goading and off topic discussions. If your post is gone that's the reason. Please stop flaming each other and going off topic. Address the post not the poster. Thank you.

Mod Hat Off​

 

[eastcoast_bsc]

To Mike_001 and east coast_bsc

Sorry you have had to endure such ill treatment on a thread I started. Sorry Father (Mike_001) that you weren't given the respect your position deserves. Thanks for serving.

This will be my last post as I have seen over the few days that I have been here this forum is no different than Catholic Answers or any other Faith based forum I have stumbled upon.

I now ask the Mods to close this thread and to delete my account.

Thanks for posting. I Appreciate your thoughts.

 

[RileyG]

I'm at a point in my life where I truly have misgivings about getting spiritual advice from priests. As a Catholic, I had one priest blast my wife and I for using contraception when we first got married. We used NFP (that's a topic for a whole other talk show!) for a few years, and we had another priest at our parish (very,very,very well-respected!) tell us that we can use ANY type of artificial birth control anytime, and not to listen to EWTN or Catholic radio or any thing like that. He said the Church is "out of touch" with "real life" with couples. He said he didn't want us to confess that we had broken down and used some birth control. I had a priest one time tell me that the Anglican Church's sacraments are perfectly valid in his opinion, so when we were away from Catholicism as Anglicans, we were just fine sacramentally and shouldn't even confess having left!

Then I had other priests say the opposite.

As an Orthodox Christian I had my priest positively BLAST the idea of putting one's child in a Lutheran private school. He swore up and down the moral thing to do was public school!!! (this is the same priest who gossips and talks trash behind people's backs). Then our friends at that same parish moved to the Midwest where their priest advised them (I kid you not!), "DEFINITELY SEND YOUR KIDS TO PRIVATE!" and get this!..."and of all the private schools, avoid the Baptist ones and some of the more non-denoms. Go LUTHERAN!"

I've heard so much contradictory advice, heard so many Catholic priests give advice contrary to the faith, so many Orthodox priests with different takes on things, that frankly I'm at a point in my life where building relationships with priests and getting their advice is low on my food chain. You can see why.

Now I'll duck and prepare for the tomatoes and rotten heads of lettuce to come flying my way....

I hate to criticize a priest, but it sounds like they do not know what the Church teaches regarding contraception. Likewise, Anglican Orders are not valid because the nature of the mass has been changed.

They should go back to the catechism.

Sorry to hear that. Gurney.

 

[Tigg]

To Mike_001 and east coast_bsc

Sorry you have had to endure such ill treatment on a thread I started. Sorry Father (Mike_001) that you weren't given the respect your position deserves. Thanks for serving.

This will be my last post as I have seen over the few days that I have been here this forum is no different than Catholic Answers or any other Faith based forum I have stumbled upon.

I now ask the Mods to close this thread and to delete my account.

Thank you for this thread. Some parishes are as cold as ice and others vary up to super friendly. I find most are on the cool side. For a priest not to say hi out and about tells me his character sucks. I pray you find a decent priest and parish. May God bless you in all things.

 

[Root of Jesse]

This might sound VERY odd for me to say, but perhaps their not being so friendly, being distant, maybe that's a GOOD THING! For years I was around aloof Catholic priests and found it off-putting. When I became Orthodox, the "kind-hearted" and "warm" friendly priest who chrismated my family drew us pretty close into his inner circle. The result has been disastrous. He talked behind my back, has gossiped about me, and generally has been awful. We're still reeling from his words. He got caught in the act bashing me to our deacon! He accidentally sent ME the text as he bashed me!

My point: not knowing how the sausage is made at church can be a GOOD THING! I wish I hadn't known my priest so intimately. His credibility is zilch with me, I don't trust him, and he has broken my heart.

Keep it dry and distant!
Go to Mass. worship, go to anonymous Confession, take Communion, stay away from your priest. You don't need a kinship and closeness with them to know God better! I'd give anything to NOT know my priest the way I do!

I like to get to know my priest, but once it gets into politics, I shy away. Which means that, if any group of parishioners sees that you are 'trying to get an inside track', they balk, to use a baseball term. I was in a parish, and a priest very familiar to us took over, and as soon as the older parishioners saw that we were familiar, they started to raise objections to the things we were trying to do, and put the priest right in the middle of it. We ended up leaving the parish, rather than putting him at odds with the others.

 

[Root of Jesse]

I have been to other parishes....same results. I wasn't trying to mislead anyone. I can only speak of what I know and that is priests in my area. Is it possible to edit title? I will try. So let me pose the question, Why are priests in the Eastern KY and Southern Ohio so unapproachable?

I could suggest a place near Bowling Green, if you're interested...The priests there are very holy and very approachable.

 

[Root of Jesse]

So pretty much Go to Mass, smile, be anonymous. Speak only to priest in confession (which is generally anonymously) or if in need of Spiritual Guidance. Forgive me but I have a problem getting guidance from a total stranger. I'm certainly not looking for a BFF, but at least someone who will acknowledge a Hello Father in passing. I also understand they are busy, but too busy too show a little kindness to their flock, c'mon. I have come to realize too that maybe it's who puts more money into the coffers. I joined the Church not for the fellowship but because I believe she has Truth. While I am not looking for "family" but would like to at least be a familiar acquaintance. Where I come from one should practice what they preach, whether they are in the "pulpit" or not. I cannot remain in a parish where I will still be a wandering stranger in 10 years, even if that means jumping ship and swimming to another shore. A choice I need to make soon as we are expecting a baby in June. thanks for everyone's replies, kind and otherwise. Peace. Stacy

I would suggest taking part in parish activities, and invite the priest to dinner once in a while, if you can. Eventually, you'll break the ice.

 

[MikeK]

I would suggest taking part in parish activities, and invite the priest to dinner once in a while, if you can. Eventually, you'll break the ice.

Same here, and not even specifically to break the ice. It may or may not break, but we should do good no matter what others did. We should vollunteer at our Parishes whether we get along with the Priest or not and we should invite our Priests into our homes (so long as we have no reason to believe they will do our families harm) as they are our neighbors and we are commanded to love them as such.

 

[pdudgeon]

Same here, and not even specifically to break the ice. It may or may not break, but we should do good no matter what others did. We should vollunteer at our Parishes whether we get along with the Priest or not and we should invite our Priests into our homes (so long as we have no reason to believe they will do our families harm) as they are our neighbors and we are commanded to love them as such.

agreed. your post reminded me of Ps. 68:6 (the first phrase) which says "God places the lonely in families..."

A priest away from his home and family would surely qualify, and not just as a priest but as a person away from the comfort of home and family.

what priest could not use the wisdom of a father, the comfort of a mother, the companionship of a brother, or the sweetness of a little sister in their life.