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Why am I so weak? Why can't I be normal?!

Discussion in 'General Struggles' started by frater_domus, Oct 2, 2018.

  1. frater_domus

    frater_domus Faith is all that matters. Staff Member Red Team - Moderator Supporter

    892
    +532
    Germany
    Christian
    Single
    I see others around me. Barely anyone a Christian. And yet, they are all cheerful, even when bad things happen. Then there is I, whose thought are constantly assaulted by unwelcome thoughts and my inner voice telling me all that is wrong, only held in check by the voice of God, which is stronger.

    Why do others have no trouble communicating friendly between each other, while I need God's help to control my adverse thoughts? Why do others have no trouble working and studying, while I need rigorous prayer to do so? Why did I need to receive wisdom from God to understand things that others do naturally?
    Others have their friend groups at uni, doing fun stuff and enjoying and suffering through together, while I sit there, trying to excel in the task that God has given me, burried in books, always in conversation with teachers and occupied with introspection and prayers, only to become as an outsider, who is definitely not as cool as others. Why is it, that when I study, I only have God with me. Why is it that when I feel down, it is only God by my side, lifting me up? While I have God, I still feel very alone. And why do I fall down in begin with whereas others just do their thing?

    Why do I need to invoke the name of Jesus to banish the evil and negative thoughts constantly trying to invade my mind and take me over, whereas others don't seem to have those issues?
    Why does it always feel like the world is hammering me with all its power and without God, I wouldn't be able to even lift a foot while others have no problem running? Why do I need to hang on to the promises of God to not be crushed by the world while others feel little more than a breeze?

    Why is it, that I am surrounded by normal people, who are normal without God, while I need to have my hand held by the almighty creator to even have a semblance of normality within me?
    Why do I, one who is trying to dethrone myself and give God dominion over all within me, one who trying to deny self as much as I can to follow God's will, one who is always ready to be shamed and ridiculed just so that I can learn from my mistakes and do it better next time, one who strives to follow Jesus as best as I can, why do I struggle to do things that others just do?
    Why is it that I need to constantly fight an all-out war to get though the day when others just stroll by?

    Why can't I be normal? Why do I need to God and tremendous effort to do things that others just do? Why do others get by while I need to hang on to God for my dear life?

    Why is it that the harder I try to walk the path Jesus laid out, the harder the world assaults me and the weaker I appear compared to others? Shouldn't it strenghten me? And yet, it seems to take more strength to do the same things as others.
     
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  2. icxn

    icxn Bραδύγλωσσος αἰπόλος μαθητεύων κνίζειν συκάμινα

    +653
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Private
    You just paraphrased Psalm 73:

    1 Truly God is good to Israel,
    to those who are pure in heart.
    2 But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled,
    my steps had nearly slipped.
    3 For I was envious of the arrogant
    when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
    4 For they have no pangs until death;
    their bodies are fat and sleek.
    5 They are not in trouble as others are;
    they are not stricken like the rest of mankind.
    6 Therefore pride is their necklace;
    violence covers them as a garment.
    7 Their eyes swell out through fatness;
    their hearts overflow with follies.
    8 They scoff and speak with malice;
    loftily they threaten oppression.
    9 They set their mouths against the heavens,
    and their tongue struts through the earth.
    10 Therefore his people turn back to them,
    and find no fault in them.
    11 And they say, “How can God know?
    Is there knowledge in the Most High?”
    12 Behold, these are the wicked;
    always at ease, they increase in riches.
    13 All in vain have I kept my heart clean
    and washed my hands in innocence.
    14 For all the day long I have been stricken
    and rebuked every morning.
    15 If I had said, “I will speak thus,”
    I would have betrayed the generation of your children.
    16 But when I thought how to understand this,
    it seemed to me a wearisome task,
    17 until I went into the sanctuary of God;
    then I discerned their end.
    18 Truly you set them in slippery places;
    you make them fall to ruin.
    19 How they are destroyed in a moment,
    swept away utterly by terrors!
    20 Like a dream when one awakes,
    O Lord, when you rouse yourself, you despise them as phantoms.
    21 When my soul was embittered,
    when I was pricked in heart,
    22 I was brutish and ignorant;
    I was like a beast toward you.
    23 Nevertheless, I am continually with you;
    you hold my right hand.
    24 You guide me with your counsel,
    and afterward you will receive me to glory.
    25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
    And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
    26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
    but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
    27 For behold, those who are far from you shall perish;
    you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.
    28 But for me it is good to be near God;
    I have made the Lord God my refuge,
    that I may tell of all your works.
     
  3. dqhall

    dqhall Well-Known Member Supporter

    +1,368
    Christian
    Single
    Christianity may be less about telling people you are Christian and more about doing Christianity.

    Mathew 6:1 (WEB-public domain) “Be careful that you don’t do your charitable giving before men, to be seen by them, or else you have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. 2 Therefore when you do merciful deeds, don’t sound a trumpet before yourself, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may get glory from men. Most certainly I tell you, they have received their reward. 3 But when you do merciful deeds, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand does, 4 so that your merciful deeds may be in secret, then your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.

    Being in church to show people you are praying is less important than praying righteous prayers in private.

    Matthew 6:5 (WEB) “When you pray, you shall not be as the hypocrites, for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Most certainly, I tell you, they have received their reward. 6 But you, when you pray, enter into your inner room, and having shut your door, pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. 7 In praying, don’t use vain repetitions, as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard for their much speaking. 8 Therefore don’t be like them, for your Father knows what things you need, before you ask him. 9 Pray like this: ‘Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. 10 Let your Kingdom come. Let your will be done, as in heaven, so on earth. 11 Give us today our daily bread. 12 Forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors.13 Bring us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For yours is the Kingdom, the power, and the glory forever. Amen.'
     
  4. Southernscotty

    Southernscotty Well-Known Member Supporter Angels Team

    +9,382
    United States
    Baptist
    Celibate
    I am praying for you dear friend and I know what this it is like as well, It is purely the flesh and the old deceiver speaking his lies into our lives... You are made in the image and likeness of God and You are a child of the high King. You are very special in the eyes of the Creator and that is what matters :]
     
  5. LaSorcia

    LaSorcia KittyKat Staff Member Red Team - Moderator Supporter

    +31,047
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Private
    Don't compare your insides with others' outsides.

    None of us are actually normal. We all live in a broken world. Some just seem to cope with the outside world better than others. But you have a precious gift- God's help and salvation. He helps you because he loves you, not because you're pathetic.

    Evil is trying to weaken you with these thoughts, and yes they are thoughts. It doesn't mean they are reality.

    You can do all things though Christ who strengthens you. Not: you have to do all things through Christ because you're too pathetic to do it on your own. ;)

    I empathize; I'm praying for you.
     
  6. WESTOZZIE

    WESTOZZIE Active Member Supporter

    371
    +361
    Australia
    Non-Denom
    Married
    to my ears your words are the same as Paul's when he wrote 2 cor 12
    "So tremendous, however, were the revelations that God gave me that, in order to prevent my becoming absurdly conceited, I was given a physical handicap—one of Satan’s angels—to harass me and effectually stop any conceit. Three times I begged the Lord for it to leave me, but his reply has been, “My grace is enough for you: for where there is weakness, my power is shown the more completely.” Therefore, I have cheerfully made up my mind to be proud of my weaknesses, because they mean a deeper experience of the power of Christ. I can even enjoy weaknesses, suffering, privations, persecutions and difficulties for Christ’s sake. For my very weakness makes me strong in him."
     
  7. Dave G.

    Dave G. Well-Known Member

    +2,603
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    Why ? Because you are in Christ Jesus and Satan hates you as much as he does Him. The others are lost, he has no need to bother them and cause doubt, they can sin freely till judgement day where they suddenly discover hell is forever and this life on earth was a flash in the pan in comparison.
     
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  8. Mountainmanbob

    Mountainmanbob Goat Whisperer Supporter

    +6,694
    United States
    Calvinist
    Married
    US-Republican
    Why is it, that when I study, I only have God with me. Why is it that when I feel down, it is only God by my side, lifting me up?

    This life can have its ups and downs. More so for some than others. In the long run having God with us is what is of most importance.

    We should take joy in that and feel blessed and grateful.

    Remembering that it is more than many have.

    M-Bob

     
  9. Tolworth John

    Tolworth John Well-Known Member

    +1,956
    United Kingdom
    Non-Denom
    Married
    You know that only those who are concerned about sin are challenged by sin/temptation.
    You've made no mention of attending church or of attending any Christian student group. Why is that?

    We none of us can follow Jesus by our strength.
    We all depend on him to give us the strength each day.
    Some have an easier walk than others. You by isolating yourself from Christian fellowship are weakening yourself.
     
  10. grandvizier1006

    grandvizier1006 Still a human by God's grace Supporter

    +2,011
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    US-Others
    I'm having similar struggles. I'm frustrated and stressed with everything in life. All of my friends know it and I can't put on a happy face or calm down in front of them. So I think I know how you feel.

    Other people can hide their struggles more easily. Don't feel bad if you can't hide yours. In fact, it's ok to seek help sometimes. If there's anyone you can talk to your concerns about, then do it.

    As for adverse thoughts, I get those a lot, too. The best thing I can say is to catch yourself thinking negative thoughts and start turning them around. Rationalize or think of something more positive.
     
  11. EzekielsWheels

    EzekielsWheels Well-Known Member Supporter

    842
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    Amen to this and I am praying for you as well!
     
  12. Haydee

    Haydee Member

    68
    +73
    Australia
    Pentecostal
    Private
    The world compromises and the enemy doesn’t need to attack people as much who compromise, because the enemy already has a foothold in their life. Jesus was hated, and it’s no different today. The modern world hates righteousness and divine authority. Most people want to do what they want and what feels good to them, which makes their life look like a piece of cake from the outside.

    It’s not weak when you turn to Jesus, it’s a sign of strength. Look at yourself from the Almighty’s perspective, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
    Don’t judge who you are, based on the opinion of man. The opinion of man changes and it will fall away. Jesus is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Hebrews 13:8

    If being a Believer and the straight and narrow were easy, everybody would end up in eternity with the King. I hope this helps.
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2018
  13. Lost4words

    Lost4words Like a puppy, i need guidance. Supporter

    +2,973
    United Kingdom
    Catholic
    Single
    Me too. My life sucks big time.

    Hate my job.
    Hate my health
    Hate my terrible accomodation
    Hate being separated from my family
    Hate temptations
    Hate the world
    Hate sinning all the time

    Life is such a mess. God doesnt seem to want to help. Thats how it feels anyway.
     
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