Whole or Incomplete?

[Conservative Mennonite]

Do you feel incomplete as a single?

I don't need a woman to make me whole. However, it wouldn't hurt things...

 

[TriptychR]

yeah .....how many men can live alone....

then ask how many women live along

Sure, women may live longer, but that says nothing about the "incomplete feeling." Women may just feel it longer.

 

[fishstix]

yeah .....how many men can live alone....

then ask how many women live along

In the United States, in 2003:

Men over age 15 living alone: 12,511,000 of 108,696,000 (12%)
Women over age 15 living alone: 16,919,000 of 116,361,000 (15%)
That includes people of all marital statuses (married, never married, divorced, widowed, separated, etc.)

If we consider only those who are never married the numbers are:

Men: 5,517,000 out of 34,881,000 (16%)
Women: 4,477,000 out of 29,499,000 (15%)


However, I suspect what you're really getting at isn't whether the men and women are literally 'living alone' but whether they are married or not. Here's the breakdown, again for the United States in 2003:

Men over age 15
Married and living with spouse: 58,586,000 (54%)
Married but not living with spouse: 1,651,000 (2%)
Widowed: 2,697,000 (2%)
Divorced: 8,976,000 (8%)
Separated: 1,905,000 (2%)
Never Married: 34,881,000 (32%)
Total Men: 108,696,000 (100%)

Women over age 15
Married and living with spouse: 58,586,000 (50%)
Married but not living with spouse: 1,488,000 (1%)
Widowed: 11,297,000 (10%)
Divorced: 12,673,000 (11%)
Separated: 2,817,000 (2%)
Never Married: 29,499,000 (25%)
Total Women: 116,361,000 (100%)

Source: U.S. Census Bureau

My Summary
First of all, there are more age 15+ women than men in total in the USA. So I've calculated percentages and will be comparing those. Here is what they look like to me:

Difference Between Percentages
Living Alone (all marital statuses): Women > Men by 3%
Living Alone (never marrieds only): Men > Women by 1%
Married and living with spouse: Men > Women by 4%
Married but not living with spouse: Men > Women by 1%
Widowed: Women > Men by 8%
Divorced: Women > Men by 3%
Separated: Equal
Never Married: Men > Women by 7%

*background data in box above to make this shorter for people who don't want to read a pile of numbers*

Now, I don't know how much difference is actually statistically significant, but obviously, for all intents and purposes, a small difference is basically no difference. A similar percentage of each gender lives alone for whatever reason - only slightly higher for women. And a similar percentage of each gender is married. Only two differences really stand out to me: There is a much greater percentage of men than women who are single due to never having been married. There is a much greater percentage of women than men who are single due to being widowed.

Conclusion: Both men and women can and do live alone.

 

[JPPT1974]

God has a purpose and goal for each and everyone of you. And if you lean on Him, then He will provide only if you let Him to do so. And that we need to stay busy preaching and teaching about Him while He makes plans for us. And that instead of worrying, we should remember that the Lord provides for us according to His watch and not ours. If He wants us to marry and have a family, than that's His will. If He wants us to stay single and childless, than that's His will. We shouldn't compromise what the Lord wants for us at all!!

 

[justasinner]

Do you feel incomplete as a single?

I felt complete when I was unsaved. But as I became saved it was pointed out to me by God that I was incomplete. I have pluses that someone else need and I also have negatives that I need from someone else. It is each and every person to learn this lesson and to find that one person that with make you complete.

Plus, to me single mean Child. A person that needs a guardian to teach one right from wrong. And from "1 Corinthians 13" verses 11 shows that a person should not stay single but should try to find a mate once they become an Adult.

11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways.


And as for those who believe that Paul states you should be single. The problem in Paul is that he believed that once Jesus paid for your sins and his, that Jesus also paid for all sins including "Adam's initial sin" but Jesus only paid for those sin created at and after his time, but each and every person is still born with the mark of Adam's original sin. This makes Paul statement about being single only a wish of a lifestyle because if you are born from Adam and his original sin then you need a mate as he did! And only those who are born without Adam's original sin are those who can live as a single. This is beside the love and payment that Jesus gives us if you accept him.

 

[fishstix]

I felt complete when I was unsaved. But as I became saved it was pointed out to me by God that I was incomplete. I have pluses that someone else need and I also have negatives that I need from someone else. It is each and every person to learn this lesson and to find that one person that with make you complete.

Plus, to me single mean Child. A person that needs a guardian to teach one right from wrong. And from "1 Corinthians 13" verses 11 shows that a person should not stay single but should try to find a mate once they become an Adult.

11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways.


And as for those who believe that Paul states you should be single. The problem in Paul is that he believed that once Jesus paid for your sins and his, that Jesus also paid for all sins including "Adam's initial sin" but Jesus only paid for those sin created at and after his time, but each and every person is still born with the mark of Adam's original sin. This makes Paul statement about being single only a wish of a lifestyle because if you are born from Adam and his original sin then you need a mate as he did! And only those who are born without Adam's original sin are those who can live as a single. This is beside the love and payment that Jesus gives us if you accept him.

Um... Adam's need for a mate wasn't due to his sin. Requiring or not requiring a spouse is not due to original sin or the lack thereof.

In my opinion, you're taking that Bible verse out of context - it isn't calling singleness childish at all; child is a metaphor for the way we see things and relate to God while here on earth and adult is a metaphor for the way we will see things and relate to God once we get to heaven.

And Jesus' death was indeed retroactive - but that's getting into a theological debate that is beyond the scope of the singles' forum.

 

[boilerblues]

There's a difference between how I feel and what I am. Sometimes I feel I am, sometimes I don't. I know that I am, Christ was single and He was complete as a person. I'm still working on getting the way I feel to align with God's Truth.

 

[JPPT1974]

There's a difference between how I feel and what I am. Sometimes I feel I am, sometimes I don't. I know that I am, Christ was single and He was complete as a person. I'm still working on getting the way I feel to align with God's Truth.

Same is true with the apostle Paul as Christ wanted him to stay single for a reason and that is to spend all of his life preaching the Word of Christ.

 

[Forever trying]

I don't think I feel completed. But I don't think it's just because I'm single. Though that may be one factor.

 

[waterbear]

My sense of completeness (ambiguous) is not related to my singleness.

 

[caitlincares]

I feel whole.

If I did not it would not be about my singleness
but about not spending time building my relationship with God.

 

[TriptychR]

There's a difference between how I feel and what I am. Sometimes I feel I am, sometimes I don't. I know that I am, Christ was single and He was complete as a person. I'm still working on getting the way I feel to align with God's Truth.

I think this is the most honest answer so far. No one is able to always feel complete, whether in the realm of singlehood or possessions or morality or what have you. Paul couldn't. David couldn't. We can't.

 

[JourneyRain]

I was taught by my mom that I would be "whole" when I got married. That right now while I am single I am half a person because I am not married. How do you correct that kind of thinking when it has been taught to you your whole life?

 

[waterbear]

In the absence of objective truth (and there isn't any obvious objective truth on this topic), my approach is to believe what I think should be the case. Thus as I think I should be able to be complete single, I believe I am complete single. What other people say or have said seems rather irrelevant.

Incidently, my parents have been pushing for me to get into a relationship for a long time and see my singleness, partially, as a symptom of immaturity - and that's their prerogative to think so. I cannot prove I'm complete, they cannot prove I'm incomplete, so no reason to think much of it.

 

[JPPT1974]

In the absence of objective truth (and there isn't any obvious objective truth on this topic), my approach is to believe what I think should be the case. Thus as I think I should be able to be complete single, I believe I am complete single. What other people say or have said seems rather irrelevant.

Incidently, my parents have been pushing for me to get into a relationship for a long time and see my singleness, partially, as a symptom of immaturity - and that's their prerogative to think so. I cannot prove I'm complete, they cannot prove I'm incomplete, so no reason to think much of it.

First of all, you are your own person and though your parents love and care for you, you need to live your own life whether your parents like it or not. But also remember to lean on God and let Him direct His pathways towards you in what you need to do!