Where are Chsitian singles meeting one another?

[Servant68]

fellowship and friendship with other Christians shouldn"t need to be organized or scheduled by the church leadership

I really don't know what you're arguing against, here... Why is it wrong for someone in church leadership to say there should be a time scheduled for members in certain demographics to meet and fellowship together?

 

[LoveDivine]

I really don't know what you're arguing against, here... Why is it wrong for someone in church leadership to say there should be a time scheduled for members in certain demographics to meet and fellowship together?

I said in the second paragraph that I wasn't against church sponsored singles outings or studies. My point was that I don't see why people feel like these events need to be scheduled by the church in order to mingle and make friends. I am actually trying to say that single Christians who attend a church regularly should show some iniative and start befriending others and organizing get togethers with those that interest them. Too often I witness members doing nothing to reach out to others and be the warm and welcoming person who puts others at ease and complaining for years that churches aren't meeting their needs. I think if people came to church with a more giving attitude there would be less need for scheduled singles ministries.

 

[leothelioness]

Where did I or anyone else say the primary role of the church should be to help singles find mates?

You're dancing around the point I'm making, now.

And to keep from getting caught up in an argument because of my stated opinion, I'm out.

 

[Servant68]

I said in the second paragraph that I wasn't against church sponsored singles outings or studies. My point was that I don't see why people feel like these events need to be scheduled by the church in order to mingle and make friends. I am actually trying to say that single Christians who attend a church regularly should show some iniative and start befriending others and organizing get togethers with those that interest them. Too often I witness members doing nothing to reach out to others and be the warm and welcoming person who puts others at ease and complaining for years that churches aren't meeting their needs. I think if people came to church with a more giving attitude there would be less need for scheduled singles ministries.

Ah, OK... I get you. I think that's a valid point. I've noticed that most Christian singles are somewhat introverted and just walking up to a stranger and introducing yourself(even though they've seen them in church a dozen times) is extremely daunting and even walking into a room where singles were scheduled to meet can be very intimidating.

 

[Servant68]

Ministry is one thing. Using church as a dating service without primary concern being to worship the Most High God is completely another.

You're dancing around the point I'm making, now.

And to keep from getting caught up in an argument because of my stated opinion, I'm out.

I took the point that you were making as being worship should be the primary focus of the church, and I agree.

What I didn't understand was your insinuation that anyone had argued otherwise. And I didn't take it as an argument, but rather a discussion. Sorry if you were offended somehow.

 

[LoveDivine]

Ah, OK... I get you. I think that's a valid point. I've noticed that most Christian singles are somewhat introverted and just walking up to a stranger and introducing yourself(even though they've seen them in church a dozen times) is extremely daunting and even walking into a room where singles were scheduled to meet can be very intimidating.

Okay good It's hard sometimes to convey meaning/ tone online. I do realize that not everyone is comfortable being the initiator or making the first move. It definitely can be more difficult for some. I tend to be very outgoing and the type to plan parties, haha Maybe that's why I think more along these lines. That being said, I think even the more shy types can still look for opportunities to welcome others and make connections(even on a smaller scale). I just think we need to have more of a mindset of what we can do to improve our home church and serve others

 

[Paulie079]

The church's role is to pastor God's flock and grow them in Christ. Do you think the primary function of the church in the first century was to help lonely singles find husbands/wives? Something tells me Paul would balk at the very idea.

Ministry is one thing. Using church as a dating service without primary concern being to worship the Most High God is completely another.

Yeah, I think I just have to echo that no one was suggesting that the church should be literally helping single people find mates or even that the church's primary function is to do so. But I do think there is a place for helping people who are walking in singleness because there are challenges that come with it, especially within our cultural context.

 

[Citanul]

I agree that it shouldn't be the church leadership's job to organise singles events. My church has this like men's and women's groups and Bible studies that are led by members of the congregation, so a singles group shouldn't have to be any different.

But where I think the church could get involved is offering support like providing a place to meet and actually spreading the word as they'll have ways to reach more people through things like bulletins and email rather than simply by relying on word of mouth, which isn't always that efficient, especially if it's a large church with multiple services. The church itself could also possibly look into doing something like organising an initial meeting for singles just to get the ball rolling, but making it clear that the group would have to run itself.

I think doing things like that would go some way to singles feeling that they're not being neglected. Too often it can feel like the church focuses on children and married people, but isn't interested in doing anything for any who are between those two states.

 

[Danoded]

Who even knows.

 

[Citanul]

Who even knows.

Us all being single suggests that we don't know...

 

[leothelioness]

Yeah, I think I just have to echo that no one was suggesting that the church should be literally helping single people find mates or even that the church's primary function is to do so. But I do think there is a place for helping people who are walking in singleness because there are challenges that come with it, especially within our cultural context.

I'll reply one more time and then I'm done.

For those who are so upset about what I've said, I was addressing the OP where he said, "I find that the church isn't playing much of a role in bringing people together, or providing those opportunities." That is what I was addressing and some took offense to it for whatever reason. I was not insinuating that anyone else has said that. Reading comprehension goes a long way, folks.

 

[leothelioness]

I took the point that you were making as being worship should be the primary focus of the church, and I agree.

What I didn't understand was your insinuation that anyone had argued otherwise. And I didn't take it as an argument, but rather a discussion. Sorry if you were offended somehow.

See my post to Paulie.

And I don't easily offend.

 

[Paulie079]

I'll reply one more time and then I'm done.

For those who are so upset about what I've said, I was addressing the OP where he said, "I find that the church isn't playing much of a role in bringing people together, or providing those opportunities." That is what I was addressing and some took offense to it for whatever reason. I was not insinuating that anyone else has said that. Reading comprehension goes a long way, folks.

lol it doesn't have anything to do with reading comprehension, but if sarcastic cheap shots make you feel better about things, that's fine. To draw out of that sentence from the OP that he means that the church should be pairing people together is a little bit of a leap even.

Anyways, I think it's a good topic of discussion--what the church's role should be as far as single people go. Don't be so triggered just because people push back on you a little bit. For me personally, I am all about nuance when it comes to any discussion, so I'm often going to be pushing back a bit if the pendulum seems to have swung too far one way or the other. It's nothing personal.

 

[Paulie079]

.

 

[LoveDivine]

Before this thread gets out of hand, I think it might be a good idea to redirect the discussion into a more productive and brainstorming type of conversation. I think the OP was looking for feedback and suggestions on how to meet other young Christians. We should try to focus on that.

 

[leothelioness]

lol it doesn't have anything to do with reading comprehension, but if sarcastic cheap shots make you feel better about things, that's fine. To draw out of that sentence from the OP that he means that the church should be pairing people together is a little bit of a leap even.

Anyways, I think it's a good topic of discussion--what the church's role should be as far as single people go. Don't be so triggered just because people push back on you a little bit. For me personally, I am all about nuance when it comes to any discussion, so I'm often going to be pushing back a bit if the pendulum seems to have swung too far one way or the other. It's nothing personal.

Oh, dear. It was not a sarcastic cheap shot for goodness' sake. I really meant that it helps to actually read what I'm responding to, but whatever.

I can tell everyone is in an argumentative mood and are getting their panties in a twist because I dared to say I don't think the church's role should be to matchmake. But I suppose it's easier to personally attack rather than try to understand the point that is being made. Not to sound rude, but you have a habit of doing that, Paul.

 

[Paulie079]

Oh, dear. It was not a sarcastic cheap shot for goodness' sake. I really meant that it helps to actually read what I'm responding to, but whatever.

I can tell everyone is in an argumentative mood and are getting their panties in a twist because I dared to say I don't think the church's role should be to matchmake. But I suppose it's easier to personally attack rather than try to understand the point that is being made. Not to sound rude, but you have a habit of doing that, Paul.

No I actually agree with you on the matchmaking thing. But "reading comprehension goes a long way" is not a comment intended to make friends lol. You have to admit that. And I am one not to take the easy way out of a discussion. I even said in my post that it's not personal, right? There was no personal attack. I just pointed out something that didn't seem entirely kind.

 

[leothelioness]

No I actually agree with you on the matchmaking thing. But "reading comprehension goes a long way" is not a comment intended to make friends lol. You have to admit that. And I am one not to take the easy way out of a discussion. I even said in my post that it's not personal, right? There was no personal attack. I just pointed out something that didn't seem entirely kind.

My bark is worse than my bite.

 

[Citanul]

I think the OP was looking for feedback and suggestions on how to meet other young Christians. We should try to focus on that.

Going back to this, Meetup might be worth a try as there could be some Christian groups in the OP's area.

 

[Paulie079]

My bark is worse than my bite.

This is really good to know in case I ever run into you in person lol. But I have known that is the case for a long time. You are a good person who just doesn't give my reading comprehension the credit it deserves sometimes